


The American Dream

by kronette



Category: A-Team (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Post Season/Series 05, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-15
Updated: 2012-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-14 08:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 73,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/513059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty-five years after Vietnam, Face reflects on his life and decides to make a change. What he didn't bargain on was Murdock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The last time I touched this story was March 21, 2004. The earliest draft I have is dated August 20, 2000. By virtue of being sick of rereading it to edit, I'm posting it.

When had his life gotten out of control? Was it really twenty-five years ago on the other side of the world? 

Templeton Peck twirled a matchbook lazily between his fingers, his other arm behind his head as he stared out the window at the darkened sky. He was never one for nature, but he'd noticed many a sunset – and sunrise – over the years on the run. He lay in bed and watched the sun set into the ocean, absently noting the beauty. Absently, because his mind was drifting over the things he'd done in the name of loyalty. Justice. Friendship. 

His thoughts kept returning to that last one. B.A., Hannibal and Murdock were his friends; his only true friends, if he was honest with himself, and tonight was a night for brutal honesty. They had seen each other at their worst and at their best, and still they managed not to kill each other when the quarters got close. Family was too light a term for what they were, but it was the closest he could define to what they meant to each other. His own family of the orphanage had been left behind at the all-knowing age of 20, a smart-alec kid going on his first tour in a conflict. The government didn't even have the decency to call it a war. He'd been to the Wall a few times and recognized the names of other men in his division. Names and faces from a lifetime ago, gone but not forgotten. Vietnam wasn't something one ever forgot. Just ask Murdock. Ask any of them. 

The brash, hotshot kid had gotten a brief, but memorable, tutorial in the Real World. Vietnam was where he'd given birth to "Face." It was a defense mechanism, much like Murdock's craziness. It became a way of life. Survival. That's what it all boiled down to: survival, and what one would do to ensure it. He'd done a lot, most of it petty thievery, but some things were big. Big. And couldn't easily be forgotten. 

Ironically, the biggest thing he was accused of – robbing the Bank of Hanoi - he didn't even do. The government wouldn't let them rest. Brief reprieves were all that were allowed. Before too long, one of them would slip up, or just have an unlucky day, and they'd be on the run again. Always running. It was no wonder he couldn't commit to any one woman. He couldn't hang around long enough to find out if he was the committing type. Oh, sure; even from an early age, he was dubbed a playboy, heartbreaker and the like. But lately...it wasn't enough. There was a...hole, inside him, that was growing larger every year. A longing that sneaked up on him until it overtook him in a rush, leaving him breathless. He wasn't just lonely. He was alone. Companionship eased the ache somewhat, but in the morning, when pleasantries were exchanged and promptly forgotten, that hole threatened to consume him. 

He let out a long, drawn-out sigh and flung the matchbook to the floor. He'd spent too many nights like this, always thinking of the same things. Coming to the same conclusions. And doing the same thing –   
nothing. Habits were always hard to break, and a habit of 25 years was very hard to let go of. 

He was going to be 45 years old in a few months and what did he have to show for it? A legacy of good deeds, sure. It felt good to help out those in need. It gave him a sense of purpose. But that led him to thoughts of Stockwell and his mind shied away from that unpleasantness. It still left a bad taste in his mouth. They'd been lucky to escape that mess with their lives; promises shattered had only led to life back on the run, with nowhere to hide this time. They'd split up for half a year, losing Stockwell's men and half the USMPs, before meeting up again three years ago, minus Frankie. He opted to return to LA and resume his career. After all, he wasn't a wanted war criminal. They were. Templeton shouldn't have returned then, but loyalty and duty made him come back. 

Duty, to a colonel from a quarter century ago. Hannibal just evoked that in him. He supposed there was a bit of father-type feelings mixed in there somewhere. He'd never examined it too closely. After the close call of almost finding his father, only to be disappointed again, he decided he didn't need blood relatives. He had all the family he needed with the A-Team. He thought he did, anyway. He was discovering that what he wanted was a family of his own. A wife to come home to and kids playing in the backyard. A home to come home to, one that he could sleep in and wake up in and only have to leave it for work and fun and never be homeless again. 

Because that's what he was: homeless. They all were. He had places to sleep and to eat, but he never had a real home. One place to call his own. More and more, that place was calling to him. A need deep inside him that was getting harder to ignore. 

He slipped out of bed and walked to the living room window. He'd scammed this beachfront house until Friday, and here it was already early Thursday morning and he had no place else to go. He opened the sliding glass door and stepped out into the cool night air. As he wrapped his hands around the deck rail, he noted that the sea was rough tonight. Churning much like his thoughts. He hung his head and prayed for an answer to fall out of the sky. 

The sleepy voice of Murdock shook him out of his thoughts. "Faceman?" 

Since Stockwell arranged for Murdock to be released from the VA hospital, one of them usually kept him within eyesight. Murdock drifted, more so than any of them. Without the Team, he did okay, though he was known for flights of fancy, usually involving one of the Team to come to the rescue. Murdock could take care of himself fine and didn't behave too badly in the company of others, but he still had bouts of delusions. Templeton didn't know how much crazier Murdock was than the rest of them. He heard voices all the time, too, telling him who was gullible and who to avoid. It was like he was living a double life. And it felt like it was coming to a head. 

Murdock's voice had an urgent note to it as he repeated, "Face? What're you doing out this late? Are the bedbugs biting?" 

Murdock meant well; he knew that. He just wasn't in the mood for company. "I couldn't sleep," he admitted quietly, his voice almost drowned out by the sounds of the ocean. 

Murdock walked up and leaned on the deck rail. "You know, when I can't sleep, I turn on the radio real soft-like, and just let myself float away on the sounds." 

He couldn't help but smile. Murdock really did mean well. "Floating away sounds nice." 

"Oh, it is. It is, Faceman. Nothing but air between you and the ground. Just like flying." Murdock's hands demonstrated and Templeton's stomach twisted as he realized the truth in Murdock's words. They were floating. Floating through life, with the only purpose survival. Well, survival wasn't good enough anymore. He wanted an anchor. He wanted stability. He wanted...something he probably couldn't have. But he was willing to give everything he had to find out. 

He turned to his life-long friend and hugged him, hard. "Thanks, Murdock," he whispered in his ear. 

He felt Murdock's hands patting awkwardly at his back. "Sure thing, Faceman. Anytime." 

When Templeton pulled back, he saw the concern on Murdock's face. 

That concern filtered into Murdock’s voice as he asked, "You sure you're all right?" 

He tried to smile, but it felt fake to him. He hoped it didn't show. "I think I will be, Murdock. Tomorrow I'll call the guys. I have something I need to discuss with all of you." 

Murdock didn't look convinced, but he shrugged. "All right. Good night, kimosabe." 

Templeton patted Murdock's shoulder on his way back inside. "Night, Murdock." 

~~~

Now that everyone was assembled, Templeton was at a loss for words. Of all of them, he was the one who kept trying to leave. His restless nature just didn't allow him to settle into a lifestyle on the run. Now that same restlessness was telling him he had to leave, now, if he was ever going to. 

He paced slowly, deliberately, trying to gather his thoughts into a convincing presentation. After a minute, he gave up and just went with instinct. It had rarely failed him in the past. His eyes flicked over each member of the Team before he spoke. 

"I have a proposal to set before you. I think we should disband. Permanently." 

B.A. nearly pushed himself out of his chair. "What?" 

"Please, hear me out," he pleaded, looking to Hannibal for support. The Colonel's eyes were veiled, but he nodded slightly. 

"B.A., settle down. There's no harm in talking." The Colonel made it sound like an order and B.A. reluctantly sat back in his chair. 

Templeton could feel B.A. glaring at him and he turned toward Hannibal, figuring he would be the most receptive. "We've been on the run half our lives. Do you want to continue to run for the rest? Don't you want more out of life? A family? Kids? a home? I want to feel like I belong to this world. I'm....we're...detached from everything. Nothing that happens seems real. I can't go on living on this planet, but not being a part of it. I can't." He felt tears in his eyes. This was the most heartfelt speech he'd ever given. It tore at his gut to see the disappointment in Hannibal's eyes, but he had to speak the truth. He couldn't hide his feelings from them forever. 

B.A.'s voice broke the uneasy silence with a tone that rang with finality. "We're a team. We stay a team." 

"B.A., do you have any regrets?" Templeton asked him. 

"No," the big man barked immediately. 

"Everyone has regrets, B.A. Everyone," he stressed before B.A. could object. "Haven't you ever thought about having kids of your own? You do such great work with the orphanages and shelters. What if those were your kids? Your own flesh and blood? Wouldn't it mean more?" Templeton knew he was pushing, but B.A. was the most volatile of all of them. If he could just make him see that this was for the best...

"Sure, we've got regrets. But why does the team have to disband because of it?" Hannibal asked. 

Good old sensible Hannibal. Templeton breathed a sigh of relief. Then the question registered. He scrubbed at the back of his neck. "I probably phrased that poorly. The team doesn't have to disband. I just have to leave. The team can go on without me." 

"We've been through this before, Face, you trying to leave. I don't think you want to be part of the team anymore," B.A. proclaimed. 

He took a deep breath and said the words he'd hardly dared to think in his mind. "You're right. I don't." Before B.A. could get out of his chair again, Templeton added, "Don't get me wrong; you guys are like family to me. You've been the constant in my life for over twenty-five years. That means a lot to me. But it isn't enough anymore." 

"You've thought about this awhile," Hannibal stated. 

"Yes." Too much. "We've been the focal point in each other's lives for so long, under such intense circumstances, I think we're all just afraid of letting go. Of going out on our own, seeing if we can make it. Make lives for ourselves. I want a life for myself. I deserve a life. We all do." 

Hannibal studied the cigar dangling between his fingers and Templeton held his breath. "You realize you still can't be yourself. You'll still be wanted. Still looking over your shoulder." 

It sounded like Hannibal was accepting his proposal, questioning the future. His future. 

"It'll be hard. I'm not saying it won't. But I want to try. I need to try. Can you understand that?" he pleaded. 

"No. I'm sticking with Hannibal," B.A. declared, though his voice wasn't as strong as it was before. 

Maybe his words had struck a chord with the big guy. Given time, B.A. might even decide that he was right. But now wasn't the time to convince him. "I'm not saying this is right for all of us. I'm just saying this is right for me. Hannibal?" He held Hannibal's gaze, waiting for his commanding officer to say something. The Colonel technically couldn't give Templeton orders anymore, but his sense of duty ran deep. If Hannibal wanted him to stay, he just might do it, but he would be resentful. He wouldn't be good for the team, then. He put as much conviction as he could in his tone and gaze, trying to get the Colonel to see how much this meant to him. 

"Where will you go?" Hannibal asked quietly. 

His laughter was a bit on the hysterical side. "I don't know. After tomorrow night, I don't have anywhere to stay. I haven't planned...anything." 

The Colonel's eyes narrowed. "You were sure of our answer." 

"I was sure of mine," he answered with quiet determination. 

Hannibal nodded slowly and Templeton felt hope fill his chest. It was a feeling he hadn't been very familiar with lately. It was a welcome warmth. 

Hannibal walked over and grabbed him in a bear hug. "I'll miss you, kid," he rasped in Templeton's ear. 

Tears filled his eyes as he clasped the man he respected and honored as he would a father. "I'll miss you too, sir," he whispered back. When he pulled back, he tried to say more, to tell Hannibal how much his advice and leadership had meant to him, but there were no words. His mouth opened and closed without making a sound. 

"I know, Lieutenant," was all Hannibal said, but it answered what was in Templeton's heart. 

Templeton took a step back, stood smartly at attention and slowly saluted. His eyes threatened to spill over as Hannibal straightened and returned the salute. He couldn't meet the Colonel’s eyes. He sensed, rather than saw, Hannibal's hand lower and he lowered his own arm and turned quickly, forcing his emotions back down. 

He adopted a shaky smile as he turned back and then met B.A.'s gaze. The large man stood up, and Templeton feared he was going to be picked up and tossed through the window. Instead, B.A. clapped him hard on his shoulders. "I don't like splitting up the team, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Gotta follow what's in your heart. I respect that." Thankfully, B.A. restrained himself from crushing Templeton into his myriad of gold chains. 

His voice was thick with emotion as he replied, "Thanks, B.A." 

Templeton slowly turned to the last member of the team. Through all this, Murdock had been silent, sitting on the couch, looking at the floor. Without a word, Murdock got up and walked outside. 

Templeton looked to Hannibal, who was staring after Murdock with a slight frown. 

Templeton wasted no time in joining Murdock outside on the deck. He hesitated on what to say, however. Murdock was easily hurt, being far too sensitive to other's moods. This must have killed him. Templeton should have realized, with the silence, what his speech was doing to Murdock. "You didn't say a lot in there." 

Murdock refused to look at him. "Yeah, well, nothing anyone said seemed to make a difference." 

"I've been thinking about this for awhile," he admitted as he looked out over the ocean. The waves weren't much calmer than they were last night, but the air felt different. Cold, despite the eighty-degree weather. Probably his reaction to seeing Murdock's face. Upset didn't begin to cover the emotions churning in Murdock's eyes. 

An accusatory tone added menace to Murdock's question. "Were you thinking about it last night when you were out here?" 

Upset was far too light a term. Murdock was well into 'angry' and possibly even 'enraged'. He was prone to mood swings; Templeton should have expected this. Honesty was always the best policy in these types of situations, even though he knew it would hurt Murdock more. "Yes, I was." 

He winced at the deathly quiet tone Murdock used. "You lied to me. You said everything was fine, Face." 

He practically pleaded with Murdock to understand. "I couldn't talk to you just yet, Murdock. I was still trying to sort out my feelings." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "This isn't easy on me, either. You guys are my family; the only family I've had since I shipped to 'Nam. You think that's an easy thing to break away from?" His voice was cracking with emotion, but he didn't care. "My God, Murdock, don't you think I have any feelings whatsoever?" 

Murdock kept his gaze stubbornly on the rail of the deck, where his fingers were picking at the peeling paint. "Of course you have feelings. Everyone has feelings. I have feelings. You have feelings. Hannibal has feelings. Even the big guy has feelings. It just seems, to me, that you haven't considered how we'd feel about your," he waved his hand toward the house, "announcement." 

He felt frustrated tears at his own eyes. "I didn't expect you to jump up and down for joy, but I thought you would understand." 

Murdock finally met his eyes and Templeton wished he hadn't. The anguish and pain mirrored his own. Murdock very quietly answered, "The only thing I understand is that you're leaving me." 

Templeton dropped his head to his chest and fought back a wave of anger. It would do no good to yell at Murdock. The man could be as stubborn as him. And Murdock was stubbornly clinging to the one aspect of Templeton's speech that hurt him, too. "Murdock, I want a chance to have a real life. Not this...parody of one. It's too much for me. It has been for awhile." 

"Don't...don't your friends mean anything to you?" Murdock asked quietly. 

"Murdock, this has nothing to do with our friendship," he insisted. "It has to do with us getting on with our lives." 

Murdock jabbed his finger at Templeton's chest as his voice rose. "It has everything to do with friendship. Don't stand there and tell me it doesn't. You...you're being selfish, that's what's happening. Don't you think we all get tired of it? Don't you think we all want something more?" 

He grabbed Murdock's shoulders. "Then let's try it! Let's get out there and find ourselves that white picket fence, the wife and kids, the American dream we fought for. God knows we've earned it a dozen times over." 

Murdock hesitated before asking, "And what happens to us?" 

Some of Templeton's enthusiasm faded. "Well, we can still probably get together, not very often, but if we're careful..."

Murdock shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant. What happens to us." He pointed between them. "You and me." 

The smile came easily to Templeton's face. "You'll always be my friend, Murdock. Nothing, not even distance, will change that." 

"Not even a wife and 2.3 kids?" Murdock challenged in his child-like way. 

"Not even a wife and 2.3 kids," he answered confidently. Murdock slipped his arms around him in a hug, which he returned. He let out a small laugh, glad things between them were okay. 

"Not even this?" Murdock murmured in his ear as he pulled back just enough to slant his lips across Templeton's.

His eyes widened in surprise. Murdock was kissing him. Kissing him. He struggled briefly, but Murdock had the upper hand. He balled his fist and tried to punch Murdock's back, but the blow had no strength behind it. His eyes closed briefly as he clutched at the thin T-shirt under his hands. The sensations, pleasant and downright erotic, were wearing down what little defenses he had. The rasp of Murdock's stubble against his chin. The pad of a thumb brushing lightly against his cheek. Fingers tangled in his hair, their force pushing him deeper into the kiss. Instinct parted his lips and he met the invading tongue with his own. Heat. Wave after wave of intense, liquefying heat. It poured through him, filled in every lonely place he possessed. A desperate moan reached his ears and he recognized his own voice. The press of a determined hand at his lower back brought his body in further contact with Murdock's. A startled yelp was muted to a moan as he felt the evidence of Murdock's commitment to this kiss. Nerves tingled, sending unmistakable signals to his own cock. 

The heat left him abruptly and his heart wailed at the loss. He caught a glimpse of Murdock's eyes before he retreated into the house. Those eyes were impassioned with...desire. For him. Regret. Loss. A promise of what might have been. 

"Bye, Face," drifted back to him, from a world he didn't understand anymore. 

He had to grip the rail for support. His body was shaking with the aftereffects of Murdock's...Murdock's kiss. My God, had the world gone totally mad? Since when did best friends...kiss...like that? And how could it have affected him so badly? He was going to have to stay outside for a few moments until his body calmed down. Calm. He didn't think he would ever be calm again. His arms were still trembling; his hands shaking. What did it mean? Was Murdock just trying to rattle him or did it mean more? Was he serious when he asked if that would affect their friendship? Did he think it would get him to stay, or make him run as fast as possible out the door? 

He had half a mind to do just that. Run as far across the country, as far from Murdock, as possible. He really hadn't done a thing in preparation of his leaving the Team. He had things to pack; a new identity to pull together to allow him to travel and start a new life. He had no destination in mind. He just knew it was time for him to go. He pushed himself away from the railing and went inside. He blinked at the change of lighting. Murdock was nowhere in sight. Hannibal and B.A. were talking quietly by the fireplace. 

"How's Murdock taking it?" Hannibal asked. 

"Huh?" He was distracted by a thousand thoughts, what to pack, where to go, who he wanted to be known as, what he wanted to do. "Oh, I explained it to him. He took it...well." 

"He did?" B.A. questioned. 

He was only half paying attention to his teammates. "Sort of. Look, I have to go pack and...things. Lots to do. Feel free to stay. The place is yours until tomorrow at six." He walked over to the staircase and started up. It required effort to put one leg in front of the other. He felt like he was walking through water. Underwater. Unable to breathe. He got to the top of the stairs and leaned back against the wall, choking on gulps of air. Murdock's door was closed. He listened, but didn't hear anything but the soft strains of a radio playing. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to walk past Murdock's room toward his own. The trip took an eternity, but finally he was behind his own door. He twisted the lock, checking the doorknob to make sure it really was locked. Then he rushed for his suitcases and began to pack. 

~~~

The next day he met Hannibal and B.A. at the bottom of the stairs with the last of his suitcases. He had cashed out most of his bank accounts in LA and the surrounding counties. He left a few, in case of emergencies. He had more than enough to start his new life. 

"I've left some of my accounts open, in case you need some quick cash," he explained to Hannibal. He dug into his pocket and produced the deposit books. "I forged your signature as best I could, but I'm sure you can match it." A sickly laugh escaped before he could stop it. "It's not like you don't know your own name..."

"Face," Hannibal interrupted him with a clap to his shoulder. "We'll do fine without you. We'll miss you, but we'll be okay." 

He took a deep breath and nodded, trying to assure himself of the Colonel's words. He hitched the strap higher on his shoulder, then picked up the last suitcase. He looked from his commanding officer to B.A., unsure what to say. They'd been in this position a few times. This time, they all sensed the difference. This time it was for good. "I guess this is it." 

"Take care of yourself, Lieutenant," Hannibal cautioned. "Don't let those corporate types walk all over you." 

"I wouldn't dream of it," he answered automatically, their familiar banter easing his guilt somewhat. He knew this would be hard, but he didn't realize just how much of himself he was leaving behind. "I'll see you around," he murmured. He glanced to B.A. "I know you don't like good-byes." 

"That's right," B.A. answered, his voice quieter than normal. "I always see my friends later. And you're my friend. So I'll see you later." 

B.A.'s image blurred as Templeton's eyes filled with tears. "I-I," he couldn't speak. Not around the lump in his throat. He settled for a shaky smile. With another deep breath, he started for the door, only to be stopped cold by Hannibal's voice. 

"Weren't you going to say good-bye to Murdock?" 

His eyes closed as a rush of memories unleashed in his mind. He couldn't think about Murdock. Not now. Not yet. "We said our good-bye's already," he choked out, then opened the door. Three more steps and he was outside. Six more and he was in his newly bought, slightly used Saturn. Four more heartbeats and he was pulling away from the house, from the A-Team, and from his former life.


	2. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Face has a new life, but his old one just won't let him be, no matter how hard he tries to forget it. Warning: masturbation

A year and a half later, Jonathan Tempe leaned back in his chair, smiling at the Board of Directors to whom he had just given a presentation. An outstanding presentation, if he did say so himself. One thing Templeton Peck always had was an overabundance of confidence. That carried him through life, and it carried him to Kansas City, Missouri, where he'd set up a small ad agency. Image was something he knew a lot about, and how to best present a product, a person, or anything that was required. It was doing fairly well, considering the relative smallness of the city. His agency hadn't achieved national recognition, and barely any recognition outside the tri-state area, but that was fine with him. He didn't want to draw too much attention to himself. Too thorough a background check on him and his new life would go up in smoke. 

His thoughts returned to the first few days after he left LA. He'd driven for a week, checking out the locals until he found a city he thought he could live with. Live in. It was fairly anonymous, Kansas City was, and a new addition to the community wasn't overly noticed. But he certainly noticed Elizabeth Ramirez. It was hard to miss her; she was one of the graphic designers in his firm. He had hired her on the spot, not just because her beauty made his head swim, but because she was good at her job. Very good, in fact. He'd promoted her once already and if this deal with the biggest bank chain in the metro area went through, then he was going to offer her the job of Advertising Manager. 

She had made her position to him quite clear at her interview: if she was to take the job, it was for her skills, and not by sleeping her way to the top. He admired her attitude and she had, indeed, earned her promotion. He didn't even ask her out for almost five months after she started. A remarkable restraint on his part, he thought. He watched other men try to catch her eye, but she politely, firmly, turned them down. He was sure he'd be the next to be shot down, but she surprised him by inviting him over for dinner. 

That's when he met Maria. A little spitfire of a seven year-old and Elizabeth's daughter from her previous marriage. Elizabeth was raising Maria on her own, something Templeton discovered a lot of people doing. Single parenthood had become the norm while they had been out protecting the innocent. Elizabeth made sure he knew she was doing fine on her own and didn't need a surrogate father for her Maria. But the little girl was adorable and a charmer. If Templeton's own past was any indication, Elizabeth was going to have her hands full keeping the boys at bay. He teased Elizabeth about it and she laughed, saying that's what her mother said about her and that it was true. They traded stories well after Maria had been put to bed, but Templeton politely excused himself before midnight. They both had to work in the morning and he wasn't going to rush into anything. He was determined to make this new life work. 

They had seen each other on and off for the better part of seven months and Templeton was beginning to think he might be truly in love for the first time in his life. Beth was everything he could possibly want: intelligent, beautiful, hot-tempered, fiercely independent and a wicked tease. She also had a wild sense of humor, which reminded him of...no. That part of his life was over; he swore never to think about it again. To think about him again. He couldn't; not without his breath catching in his chest and his hands trembling. If he woke up in a cold sweat and not remember why, he chalked it up to bad memories and nothing more. If his dreams sometimes teased him with phantom lovers with dark, passionate eyes, then that's all they were. Dreams. They didn't mean anything. Anything at all. 

Elizabeth. He was thinking of Elizabeth. Ah, his sweet Beth. The first time they made love, Templeton knew he was lost. Hardly all sweetness and light, Beth was a wildcat in bed. She learned all his weak spots that first night and used them to her advantage on all their consequent trysts. Oh, but these were more than trysts. This was more than anything he could have ever hoped for. Wanted. Needed. 

He raised his eyebrows politely, realizing Mr. Hoyt had spoken. Hoyt was smiling, so Templeton smiled back. Things were definitely looking good. As they shook hands on the deal, inside Templeton was already making plans to tell Elizabeth. Maybe he would tell her over dinner tonight. They were supposed to meet at her place at six, as her grandmother wouldn't be able to pick up Maria until then. 

He drove by the jewelry store on his way home again, but instead of passing by as he normally did, he parked and went inside. As he checked the cases, a woman approached him and asked if he needed any assistance. He leaned down to get a better look at a ring winking at him. "That one," he pointed, sure that he had made the right choice. He told her the size and asked when it could be ready. 

The weekend. In exactly two days, he would have the ring. Now all he needed was the proper way to propose. It wasn't something he'd ever done before, but he was always up for new experiences. Nervously, he wondered if Beth would accept. They hadn't exactly talked about marriage – he laughed. That word sounded so foreign to him! But he felt at home with her and Maria. Maria adored him and he spoiled her rotten, much to Elizabeth's dismay. Beth hadn't given him any indication she would be adverse to the suggestion of marriage. 

Maria went to her grandmother's for the night, leaving Templeton alone with Elizabeth. They had celebrated the new account, and Elizabeth's promotion, with great gusto. He felt her nail marks on his back the next morning and smiled at the memory. Sleepy-eyed, he'd kissed Elizabeth good morning and watched as she drifted back to sleep. He brushed her hair back off her face, sighing contentedly. He was ready to ask her to marry him. 

His only concern was the odd dream he'd had the previous night. He was running, chasing a bedraggled, shaggy dog. He caught the animal easily. The poor thing desperately needed a bath. As the dog tried to climb in his lap, dirt marred his suit. He had a protest on his lips, but it died as dark brown eyes stared down into his. He ruffled the dog's fur, laughed at its obvious delight and then the dog was gone. It was there, in his arms and then it vanished. He searched and thought he caught a glimpse of those eyes in the distance, but when he got to the spot, there was nothing. That's when he woke up, feeling unsettled. He was missing something, but what? He had everything he needed right here, in this house. In this bed. 

Soft, sure hands traced up his chest, encircling his neck. He smiled down at Beth. "Hello, sleepyhead." 

She pouted and pulled him down for a deep, probing kiss. For an instant, not even a split second, another kiss intruded. A kiss from a year and a half ago. He pushed away from her, gasping at the intensity of his emotions. 

"Jon, what's wrong?" Elizabeth asked, worry evident in her voice and expression. 

"Sorry. I'm sorry," he repeated, unsure what just happened. "I just...I had a weird dream and it's still with me." 

"You have weird dreams a lot, Jon." She reached up to caress his face. "Are you sure things are all right?" 

Though it was her hand on his face, he felt another touch against his skin. A hand determined not to let him go until he made his point... "Oh, God," he cried as he stumbled out of bed. Why now? Why? Why? 

"Jonathan! What's wrong?" 

"Please. Please, just...I can't...I can't," he stumbled over his words, unsure what he was trying to say. Unsure what he wanted. He felt tears on his cheeks as he fumbled his pants on. 

"Don't leave, please," her soft voice pleaded. 

He stopped and noticed, really noticed what he was doing. Did he want to give up his one chance at happiness? At a wife and daughter and home? A stable, normal life? No, he forcefully told himself. Elizabeth was the best thing that happened to him and he was not going to walk away from her. 

Tears trailed down her face and he reached over to wipe them away. He sat back down on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just...these dreams, they're from my past. I was..." he took a deep breath and decided on partial truth, "In Vietnam. I occasionally have dreams, flashes of what happened over there." 

She reached for him and he leaned against her. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" she asked. Her touch was comforting and he melted into her warm embrace. 

"They don't happen all the time. They've been getting worse. I don't know; maybe stress from the job is bringing something up. Who knows why these things happen?" he lied, knowing full well his dreams had nothing to do with his tour of Vietnam. 

"What eases them?" she whispered in his ear as her hand traced along his thigh. 

"Um, oh, distraction is usually good. Very good, in fact," he breathed as her hand slipped inside his pants. He turned and kissed her, losing himself in her scent, her body, her life. 

~~~

The same dream happened the next two nights, driving Templeton insane. He felt empathy for the animal. He wanted to protect it from the elements it obviously lived through. He wanted to take it home and care for it, but each time he tried, the dog refused. It just looked at him with those eyes, asking a question. What that question was, Templeton couldn't tell, because he woke up at just that moment. It was frustrating him to no end. 

Saturday arrived and with it, time to pick up the ring. He drove to the jewelers and held the box in his palm, feeling the weight of it in his soul. 'Til death do us part. 

His guts twisted nervously as he placed the box in his inside jacket pocket. 

As he was driving home, his eye caught a tabloid office and he pulled over. Unsure why he was bothering – all those type of papers were trash – he went inside and flipped through a sample. Now he recognized it. Murdock had loved to read this rag, saying it had great cultural value. He kept turning the pages, looking for something. At the back were classifieds. Without hesitation, he went over to the desk and asked to place an ad. He recited what he wanted it to say, fear causing a fine tremor in his hands. The clerk read it back to him. 

"Baying wolf seeking meeting with howling mad dog. Kansas City, here I come." The clerk looked up at him, disbelief twisting his mouth. "Are you sure that's what you want it to say?"

He took out his wallet and flipped some bills on the counter. "Yes," he answered tersely. "When will it come out?" 

"Monday morning. You just want to run this once?" the clerk asked as he picked up the money. 

"However many times that'll pay for," Templeton answered, then turned and left the office. He had a question that only one man could answer and he had a feeling that he couldn't move forward with his life until he heard it. 

~~~

Templeton toyed with the jewelry box on his dresser. It had been two weeks and no sign of Murdock. Maybe he didn't read the classifieds anymore. No, Murdock was paranoid; he'd read it all just to make sure he wasn't in it. But this time, he was in it. If he could figure it out. If Murdock wanted to see him again. If he...

The doorbell rang, startling Templeton. He knocked the box to the floor and hurriedly bent and placed it in his jacket pocket. It could be any number of people. He was well-known in the neighborhood. It could be Elizabeth coming by with Maria for a surprise picnic in the park. But when he opened the door, a figment from his past was standing on his doorstep, familiar ball cap in place, worn jacket tucked into the crook of his elbow, hands deep in his pockets. 

His breath caught in his chest, his hands trembled and an ache began at the center of his being and spread outward. "Murdock," he said, not quite believing he was actually there. 

"Face," Murdock replied and nodded once. He started rocking back and forth on his heels and said with impatience, "Well, can I come in, or do I have to camp out here? I mean, it's nice weather and all, but..." 

"Sorry! Sorry. Come in." Templeton stepped back and allowed Murdock into his home. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Murdock. He couldn't believe he made the trip. 

Murdock took a quick glance around. "Nice set up you got here, Face. How long you got it for?" 

Templeton closed the door and walked up to Murdock, but stopped a few feet from him. "It's mine. I've got a mortgage at the bank." He laughed nervously as his hands twisted together. "Mortgage, business, the whole works. I'm as legit as I can get." 

"That's nice. That's real nice." Murdock's head ducked until he was staring at the floor. "So why'd you want to see me?" 

"Ah, yes. That." Templeton reached out, but didn't quite touch Murdock. He couldn't do that, not just yet. "Sit down, why don't you? You want something? I've got cola. Root beer." 

Murdock sat on the couch and shook his head. "No, don't want nothing but the answer to why you asked me here." 

Templeton sat down, suddenly unsure of his legs holding him up. Once again, he was in a position where the right words just wouldn't come, so he said the first thing that came to him. "I've been having dreams." 

Murdock took off his hat and started toying with it. "Congratulations. I've had them for years. Doc used to say that they meant something, but I never could figure out what." 

"Murdock, please," he pleaded. It had been too long. He was out of practice in dealing with Murdock's quick mind and quirky sense of...whatever. Humor, this certainly wasn't. "My dreams involve a shaggy dog, left alone in the elements. I offer him a home, but he won't follow me. He just looks at me with a question in his eyes." 

"So why don't you answer him?" Murdock mumbled into his chest. 

"I wake up before he asks the question." Templeton held his breath, sure that he was doing the right thing. He was pretty sure the dog was Murdock, but the question was a mystery. 

Murdock's voice was soft as he continued to slowly twirl the hat in his hands. "Maybe, maybe he wants to know why you left him." 

Templeton's eyes widened. Left him? A statement a lifetime ago came back to him. 'The only thing I understand is that you're leaving me.' Not us, me. That mind-numbing tingle he felt when Murdock kissed him returned as if their lips just parted and he felt his world tilt out of control. When he could see straight again, he begged, "One question, Murdock. Just one. Why'd you do it? Why'd you kiss me?" 

"That's two questions," Murdock's annoyingly insane mind pointed out. 

"Murdock!" he snapped as he grabbed him by the shoulders. "Just answer the question." His breathing was harsh to his own ears and his blood was racing. He had to be right. He just had to. 

Murdock kept his head down. "I thought you knew. I thought you understood. That's why...that's why I did it." 

"Understood what?" he cried, anticipation leaving him on edge. 

Murdock's clear eyes met his. "That I love you, Face." 

It was such a simple statement, said with the honesty of a child. Was it that simple? Could it be that easy? The sheer magnitude of what Murdock just admitted rocked him to his core and tears started to fall. 

Murdock's hands were instantly wiping them away. "Don't cry, Faceman. I never meant to make you cry. I wanted you to be happy. If that meant...if that meant you went away, then I wasn't going to do nothing to make you stay."

Murdock's touches were feather-light on his skin, but Templeton felt them clear down to his toes. They were electrifying. They answered his question better than any words could. Words...he realized Murdock was still talking.

"But I just couldn't...couldn't let you go without the memory of your taste. You tasted so good, Faceman. Better than I imagined. Better than double dip rocky road ice cream. And you know how much I like double dip rocky road ice cream." 

Murdock sighed, finally silent and Templeton swallowed once, hard. Taste. Oh yes, he remembered that taste. But a memory goes stale after awhile. Wild, unrestrained hunger pulsed through him, urging his hands to slide up and grab Murdock's face and kiss him. And kiss him he did; thoroughly, plundering his mouth, taking everything that Murdock was and replacing it with himself. He felt them sliding until he was on top of Murdock, desperate to get closer. Pressing to go deeper. Wanting more. Needing more. Tears were sneaking from his tightly closed lids, dripping onto his hands and Murdock's face. That ache, the ache that woke him in the middle of the night was back, but it was a good ache; it meant he was where he belonged. It meant he was with the one he wanted. 

Murdock was giving as good as he got. Their teeth clashed, tongues interrupted flowing movements, lips tugged and teeth nipped and Templeton reveled in every bite; every sharp pain. His blood was on fire; his heart rate out of control and his mind shut completely down. He was a raw mass of feeling, of want, of need, and he transmitted that need in the only way he could: touch. He finally released Murdock's mouth, gulping for air as he shoved the T-shirt out of his way. He didn't even try to catch his breath; just dove down and licked and sucked at Murdock's skin, heated under his mouth, his hands just as busy with finding the zipper on Murdock's pants. One word escaped in a groan, "Need," as his hands reached their destination. 

"Need you too, Face," Murdock gasped, his own hands busy undoing Templeton's shirt. 

The jacket was tangled on his arms and Templeton frantically shook both off and tossed them to the floor. 

The jewelry box skidded out, drawing Murdock's attention. "What's that?" he asked. 

Templeton froze. Elizabeth. No, not now. He couldn't think of her now. He sensed Murdock going for the box and tried to beat him to it, but Murdock was too quick. 

"It's nothing. It's not important," he lied. He cupped Murdock's face and pulled him around until he could lock gazes with him. "Please don't," he whispered. 

Murdock just looked at him and then opened the box. He stared at in silence for a moment, then scooted until he could sit up, effectively dumping Templeton off of him. "This is an engagement ring," he stated. 

Templeton ran his hand through his hair. "It's nothing," he repeated thickly, not wanting to deal with this now. Not when he still had the taste of Murdock in his mouth. His blood singing through his veins. His world righted. 

Murdock shook his head and there was a world of hurt in his voice. "It looks like something to me. So, what, you got a girlfriend? You gonna ask her to marry you?" 

He couldn't deny it; not with the ring in Murdock's hands. "It feels like a lifetime ago, Murdock." That was the truth. 

"It can't be too much of a lifetime. This was in your pocket." Murdock's eyes shone with tears. "Why'd you ask me here, Face? To prove to yourself that you loved her? Why drag me all the way out here? Couldn't you tell that you loved her? Why'd you need me?" 

He'd forgotten how sensitive Murdock was. It seemed like he’d forgotten a lot of things since leaving the Team. He forced the words out. "I needed you to answer a question for me. I needed to know..." his voice trailed off, unsure exactly what it was he was trying to say. 

But Murdock knew. "You needed to know if you were having guilt dreams about me. About not saying nothing to me when you left. About leaving without knowing." 

He nodded, his throat too tight to get words through. He felt shame wash through him and he couldn't meet Murdock's eyes. The box was tossed into his lap and Murdock stood up. 

Wild-eyed, Templeton jumped to his feet. Murdock was straightening his T-shirt and tucking it back into his jeans. "Where are you going?" he demanded, his eyes trying to watch every move at once. 

Murdock settled his hat firmly on his head. "I'm leaving. You didn't need me, Face." 

"You're wrong," he spat out. He wiped his fingers across Murdock's lips, their tips coming away red. "This blood came from where I bit you. Where I kissed you. I didn't do that out of some sort of guilt. I did it because I wanted to. Because I needed to." 

"To see if the fire was still there?" Murdock snarled sarcastically. 

Templeton stepped nose to nose with him. "To see if it was real or if I dreamed that, too. If I dreamed that day on the deck. If I imagined the way it made me feel. And just maybe I did it to prove to myself that my feelings were real." 

Murdock studied him for a minute, but Templeton didn't flinch from his gaze. He was determined not to let Murdock out of his house without an answer. 

Murdock finally asked him the same question he had himself. "What's the conclusion, Faceman? Is it love or is it a dream?" 

"I don't know," he wailed, stepping away from Murdock and starting to pace. "I thought I found everything I ever wanted with Elizabeth. A home, a wife, even a daughter. She's smart and funny and wonderful..."

"Is that her name? Elizabeth?" Murdock interrupted quietly. He was staring down at the box that had fallen to the floor again. 

Templeton stopped pacing and his eyes followed Murdock's line of sight. His heart lurched. "Yes. She works at my ad agency." 

"Pretty name." 

"Pretty lady," Templeton replied automatically, his mind in a whirl. Elizabeth. Murdock. One standing on the edge of his new life, one hovering at the edge of his old. Which was right? What was he feeling toward Murdock? Was it just an infatuation? It couldn't be. Not after all this time. Curiosity? A year and a half is a long time to be curious. What about Elizabeth? Didn't he love her? Wasn't he going to propose to her not two weeks ago? What had held him back? Was it the answer to the question or the man who delivered it? Was he putting off his proposal until he could see Murdock and know for sure? Know what? The answer to that question popped into his head so suddenly, he physically reeled back a step. Maybe it was that simple. Maybe it could be that easy. 

"You love her?" Murdock asked, his voice soft and insecure. 

"I love her," he answered. In the next breath, he continued, "But I think I'm in love with you." 

"There's a difference?" Murdock asked glumly, though his curiosity filtered through. 

Templeton blinked back tears. "Oh, yes. I've loved a lot of people; you, B.A., Hannibal and a few dozen or so women in my day. But I never experienced being in love. It's indescribable." 

Murdock's face screwed up in confusion. "Then how do you know if you're in love with someone and don't just love them?" 

Templeton stepped over to Murdock, slipped his hands around the back of his head and murmured, "Like this." He tilted Murdock's head down, angling it so their lips meshed. He kept it slow and easy, not letting his raging need just below the surface burn out of control. He flicked his tongue against Murdock's, teasing, keeping it light, but full of promise. Murdock's hands were chilly on his back, but soon warmed as they stroked in circles. Slowly, oh, so slowly, the kiss deepened, Templeton pulling Murdock closer, until he could feel the pounding of Murdock's heart against his own. Templeton's fingertips stroked along Murdock's cheeks, down his neck to his arms, then he slipped them around his waist, to work their way up his back. Murdock started to make small protests and Templeton backed off gently, until he was merely licking and nipping at Murdock's neck. 

"Face, Face, I gotta tell you something." Murdock was breathless, his skin sweaty, as Templeton nuzzled the stubble. 

"Mmm?" he answered, intent on the skin before him. 

"Face." Murdock grabbed his head and forced him to look up. 

He gripped Murdock's arms as fear welled up inside. What if he was wrong? What if this wasn't what Murdock wanted? 

"I don't just love you, Face. I'm in love with you." Again, he said it in such a simple way, that the words took on a whole other meaning. 

Templeton rubbed his hands up and down Murdock's arms, then rested his forehead against Murdock's and laughed lightly. "Don't ever scare me like that again. I thought you were going to say you didn't love me at all." 

Murdock's arms wrapped around him tightly. "I could never say that 'cause it's not true." 

Before Templeton could get his arms around Murdock once more, Murdock pulled back. "Face, we can't do this." 

"What do you mean, we can't do this?" Templeton asked. "I thought we were doing this." 

Murdock shook his head. "What I mean is, you've got your lady to talk to. I don't want to mess up what you've got with her. You need to talk to her, Faceman. Talk to her." 

"I – I can't." He felt like such a coward. "I can't talk to her. What can I say? 'Hi, I'm in love with my old 'Nam buddy? Hope you don't mind wasting the last few months of your life on me?' I can't hurt her like that, Murdock." 

"You'll be hurting her more if you don't tell her, Faceman. You gotta tell the truth. Truth is the only way to go, baby. The truth shall set us free." 

Templeton's legs gave out and he landed ungracefully on the couch. "You don't understand. I thought she was everything I could ever want. I thought I found what I was looking for. What I've been searching for. But when I picked up the ring, the dreams started. Dreams about you. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to admit it." He rocketed off the couch, anger blazing through him. "Why can't I have a normal life? Why can't I have what everyone else has? Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why did I have to fall in love with you, just when my life was going right?" He stopped dead, his heart in his throat. He almost – almost – didn't turn around, but some perverse, sadistic part of him twisted his body until he faced Murdock. 

Murdock's expression echoed what Templeton felt inside. Hurt, anger, confusion. "I'm sorry I messed up your plans." 

Before he could move, before he could cry out, Murdock was through the front door. 

The silence was deafening. It pushed at him, taunted him and his eyes cast around the room, looking for something, anything to stop the rush of feelings he felt building. The jewelry box mocked him from the floor, daring him to pick it up and resume his life as if nothing changed. But everything had changed. His house seemed smaller; the walls closing in on him. A cold draft raised the hair on his arms. A soul-deep sob escaped before he could stifle it. He wouldn't think. He wouldn't feel. He ordered himself not to. He looked around the living room once, his eyes straying to the couch. He couldn't stay there. He grabbed a shirt from the bedroom, tossed it on and left. He slammed the door with finality, unsure whether he would return or not. 

He drove aimlessly through the city, finally stopping at some bluffs that overlooked the valley below. He walked to the edge and stared down into the valley. The setting sun cast long shadows along the ground, muting all the colors to dull brown. It was fitting, somehow, that even the bright colors would be taken from his life. Could he go back to Beth now, with the knowledge that he also loved his best friend? Could he have his dream with her and keep his feelings for Murdock hidden? 

At the mere thought of Murdock's name, Templeton's chest tightened and he curled his arms around himself, trying to still the tremors. No, he couldn't keep his feelings about Murdock hidden. He'd been doing that for too long. Those feelings had sent him halfway across the country, seeking a life that he thought he wanted, but what he needed was someone to understand him, who would be there for him, with whom he could relax and be himself. He already had that with Murdock. Why did he need anything else? What was so special about a wife and 2.3 kids? They were just a family. He left one family in search of another, but it was all the same. Family consisted of those you loved. It was a matter of choice which you stayed with. He had made the wrong choice. It took him hurting Murdock – again – to realize that. But he had been so close. So close to the wife and 2.3 kids. But the pain at their loss wasn't nearly so great as the stabbing, soul-tearing ache at the thought of losing Murdock. 

He wiped his face, unaware of the tears that had fallen and returned to his car. He drove by the tabloid office and the man inside was just closing up. He leapt out of the car, yelling for the man to stop. "I have to place an ad." 

The man waved him off. "Look buddy, I'm closing. Come back tomorrow." 

Templeton was not going to be turned down. "This paper is published tonight, right? I need to get something into that paper tonight." 

The man regarded him shrewdly. "It'll cost ya." 

He didn't care. "Fine. Whatever. Just promise me the ad will be in tomorrow's paper." 

The man unlocked the door and motioned him back inside. "It'll be there. Whatcha want to say?" 

He hadn't thought of what to say. He just knew he had to get a message to Murdock before he left town. "'Baying wolf made'...no, that won't work. How about this: 'Baying wolf dreaming of lost howling mad dog. The answer is yes.'" 

The clerk raised an eyebrow. "That's what you want to say?" 

Templeton smiled. "No, but it'll have to do." He removed his wallet and slapped 3 bills on the counter. "Here's fifty. Make sure it goes in tomorrow's paper. If not, I'll be back and you won't like it if I have to come back." He let a bit of the old Face's menace slip into his smile and the clerk backed up. 

"It'll be there. I'm sending it now, see?" The clerk pulled up the computer and fired off an urgent email to the publisher. 

Templeton waited until the clerk got email confirmation, then he left. He felt better, lighter, but he still had a lot to do. A lot to think about. What was he going to tell Beth? What did he want to tell her? Did he want to stay in Kansas City? Would Murdock want to? He laughed out loud. Here he was, in America's Heartland, searching for the American dream and he'd found himself wanting a relationship with a man. 

If they did decide to stay, he didn't think they would have too much trouble. One of the women in his office had a live-in partner and he made sure that both of them had all the insurance and medical coverage afforded to "normal" couples. Templeton Peck was nothing if not forward-thinking and he hated prejudice of any kind. 

A new problem presented itself; could he work with Beth? Even though he hadn't proposed, the intent was there and he felt like he was letting her down. He had to think what to say to Beth. It couldn't be impulsive, like his conversations with Murdock. He had to plan this out just right, so he didn't hurt her more than necessary. And Maria. He was already missing her sticky hands and killer smile. 

He pulled into his driveway and locked the car. He needed to regroup. To refresh his mind, so he was ready to face Elizabeth at work tomorrow. He stooped to pick up the jewelry box, turning it over and over in his hands. He probably should return it, but it wasn't just a symbol of his commitment to Beth. It was a symbol of his new life, which was looking a lot like his old life, only slightly improved. A shiver of desire chased its way down his spine. Improvements he was more than willing to sample. Deciding he could hang onto it a while longer, he tucked it in the top drawer of his dresser. With nothing else to do but wait, his mind went into overdrive, plotting and rehearsing what he would say to both Elizabeth and Murdock. He thought as he ate, showered, changed and slipped into bed. His thoughts followed him into his dreams. 

He caught up with the dog again and ruffled his fur. The dog's tongue lapped at his face and he laughed, all the while trying to hold the muddy paws off his suit. The dog was having none of it and Templeton found himself flat on his back, being licked mercilessly. The paws he held transformed into hands, and the fingers intertwined with his own. He blinked and the dog was gone, replaced with a seriously intent Murdock. There was a question in his eyes and this time, Templeton understood. He nodded and offered up his mouth, which was claimed hungrily. Clothing evaporated, bodies merged and a climax like he'd never experienced left him shaken. 

He blinked his eyes, wondering why it was dark. He was sweating and his hand was wrapped around his softening cock. He felt the wetness on the sheets underneath his hand. That was a dream? His heart was double-timing in his chest and he could hardly catch his breath. He groaned and rolled onto his back. If that was a dream-Murdock, what would the real one do to him? An ache in his groin was his answer. He groaned again and wondered if his body could take the abuse. He scooted to the other side of the bed, for once not concerned about cleanliness. He snatched a few tissues from the bedside and wiped his hands, then drifted back to sleep.


	3. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dull thud in his chest signaled his heart's knowledge that this was really happening, that he was really giving up his ideal for something unconventional.

It took him two days to work up the courage to talk to Elizabeth. He explained that although he cared for her and Maria a great deal, he didn't feel it was right to continue seeing her if he couldn't commit to her. He started to explain about Murdock, but found he couldn't. Not when he couldn't quite explain it, himself. The future of the ad agency was also up in the air until he talked to Murdock, but he broached the subject of Beth continuing to work with him. They discussed – rather heatedly – Elizabeth staying with the company and in the end, she decided she would. After all, he hadn't proposed marriage, now had he? she teased. 

A dull thud in his chest signaled his heart's knowledge that this was really happening, that he was really giving up his ideal for something unconventional. He couldn't meet her eyes after that comment. They agreed to let things cool off and try to remain friends. 

There was one more thing he wanted, but he wasn't sure how she would take it. He asked if he could still see Maria and Beth grabbed his hands, forcing him to meet her eyes. 

She was smiling. "Of course you can see Maria. She adores you. You spoil her too much, but I find I don't mind when it's you or my mother. You're allowed." 

"I'm honored," he choked out in a whisper. He squeezed her hands tightly. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" 

"I think I'll survive being dumped by a man," she drawled and he winced. She laughed and patted his hands. "Don't worry yourself. We'll be fine. And you'll come by and see Maria, and take her to the park, and she'll get ice cream all over your suit." 

Despite the conflicting emotions churning through him, he smiled at the ice cream reference. He had a sudden desire for double dip rocky road. "The suit can be cleaned," was his standard reply to her teasing, and he found himself almost as light-hearted as his words felt. 

It was time for him to go, but he sensed there was something more to say. 'I'm sorry' seemed poorly inadequate, but he said it anyway. 

She cupped his face in her hands. "Don't be sorry, Jon. We had a wonderful time. You made me laugh. Our breakup didn't require bloodshed," she joked. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly. "It's okay." 

He inhaled a shuddered breath and wrapped her in his arms. "I hope you find someone who truly loves you and Maria, and will give you the best life possible," he murmured in her ear as tears threatened once again. 

"I hope you find what you're searching for," she whispered back. 

They said their good-byes and Templeton drove back to the office to make a few arrangements. As he sat at his desk, sifting through papers, he noticed a soft shuffling noise from the documents he held. His hands were shaking. A case of the nerves? Him? Since when? Since he'd thrown caution to the wind and gave up everything he'd ever wished for, on something he hoped he still had a chance at? If Murdock didn't answer him, if he didn't come back... 

He gripped the edge of the desk, fighting off a wave of panic. Templeton Peck didn't panic. He had an out for every situation. He had...no idea what was going to happen next. Anticipation twisted his gut. If Murdock came back, but didn't want to stay in Kansas City, he would turn the agency over to his vice president. If Murdock didn't come back...if he didn't come back, he'd be lost. He would give up the agency anyway and move to some backwoods, hick town and raise some hell until he either forgot or was tossed in jail where the thugs could help him forget. 

With nothing left to do, he shut off the lights and returned home. As soon as he opened the front door, he sensed something had changed. His eyes flicked over the living room, but nothing was missing. His hand instinctively reached for a gun he no longer carried. He swore softly as he crept through the house, looking for signs of the intruder. There, a noise was coming from the bedroom. He placed his ear against the door and listened, surprised to hear the low sounds of a radio. He hadn't left it on...floating. Floating on the sounds of a radio turned on real soft-like. 

"Murdock," he breathed, as he pushed open the door. Sure enough, curled on one side of the bed lay Murdock, sound asleep, his body wrapped around a pillow. He had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept in days. The need to know battled with the need to let Murdock sleep. Now that he didn't have to worry whether Murdock would come back or not, sleep won out. They could talk in the morning. Templeton quietly gathered his things, took a quick shower in the guest room and promptly fell asleep. 

~~~

Templeton groaned and tried to block out the sound that was disturbing his sleep. But the noise rose in volume and he realized it was a voice. Singing. Loudly. 

"Wha?" he mumbled as he sat up and checked the clock. Six a.m. Who on earth got up at six...he tripped over the covers in his haste to get to his own bedroom. The singing got louder as he opened the door. Murdock wasn't in the room, but the door to the shower was closed and he could just hear the water running. With a satisfied smile on his face, Templeton went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. He made a brief call to the office, saying he wouldn't be in the rest of the week – no explanations necessary when you were the boss. 

He waited impatiently for Murdock to finish. After a fashion, the singing stopped and Templeton gripped his coffee mug with both hands. Tense didn't begin to describe him. Nervous, jittery...like a virgin on prom night, he thought. He was a long way from being a virgin, however, and he forced himself to calm down. They were just going to talk. They needed to talk. They'd done this all backwards and he was determined to get it right this time. He turned around and nearly dropped the mug. Murdock stood in the doorway, stretching, in nothing but a wet towel draped carelessly over his hips. Templeton snapped his eyes shut. "Murdock, get dressed," he hissed. 

"What, Faceman?" 

He could hear Murdock getting closer, the scent of his own soap getting stronger. "Put something on. Now. Please," he begged. When he heard shuffling, he opened one eye. Murdock was heading back to the bedroom. He breathed a sigh of relief and sank into a kitchen chair. What a thing to be confronted with early in the morning: wet, soapy-smelling, nearly naked, Murdock. There should be a law, or at least, a warning. Heat flooded his groin and he tried in vain to stop his reaction. 

"This better?" 

Murdock's voice cut through his inner turmoil. He glanced up and saw that Murdock had one of his older robes wrapped tightly around him. "That's fine. Great, in fact. You want something to eat? I've got..." he didn't actually know what he had, but he was willing to get whatever Murdock wanted. 

"Corn flakes? I'm just needing some corn flakes. My belly's empty." Murdock rubbed his stomach as he looked around the kitchen. 

Templeton pointed to the cabinet to Murdock's left. "In there. I've got some juice, too, if you want it." 

"Juice is perfect," Murdock answered as he studied the box of cereal. 

Templeton retrieved the juice from the refrigerator, then turned around to get a bowl. He came nose to nose with Murdock. The breath rushed out of him. "I-"

"Do you know, that this contains forty-five of your daily minimum vitamin requirements?" 

What did vitamin requirements have to do with anything? Templeton realized Murdock was pointing at the box of cereal and shaking it to emphasize his point. Templeton took the box away and set it on the table with a thump. "Murdock, why are you here?" 

Murdock raised a hand to tap at his pursed lips. "Why are any of us here? Wasn't it Confucius who said...?"

"I don't care what Confucius said!" He hadn't meant to snap, but his nerves were on edge. He'd been anticipating this moment for so long, but Murdock's unpredictability had shattered all his illusions. He calmed himself and reached out to take Murdock by the shoulders. He lowered his voice and asked, "Why did you come back?" 

Murdock shrugged. "You asked me to." 

Disappointment started to edge out the hope. "Is that all? You came here because I asked you to?" 

Murdock reached up and rapped lightly on his own head. "When I'm with you, the voices in my noggin aren't so loud." His expression turned serious. "I bet you could make them stop, if you tried real hard. Try to make 'em stop, please, Face," he pleaded. "I don't wanna hear them anymore. I wanna hear you. I wanna hear you say you love me. You do, don't you? C'mon, Face, say it, please? Don't leave me hanging like this." 

Templeton let Murdock ramble, too stunned to try to answer. The intensity that shone from Murdock's eyes was almost too much, but he couldn't tear his gaze away. Then the words hit him: don't leave me. His reaction was instinctive. He grabbed Murdock as tightly as he could and promised, "I won't leave you. I'm sorry. So sorry. I didn't know. Didn't realize..." 

"Shh, shh, Faceman, it's all right. It's all right," Murdock murmured as he stroked Templeton's hair. 

Templeton hung onto Murdock for dear life, tears leaking from his closed eyes. He pulled his head back far enough to seek out Murdock's mouth, hitting his throat, jaw, then finally, finally his lips met their goal. It wasn't so much a kiss as an assurance, an answer, an apology and a promise. They stayed like that, until the world stopped spinning and everything was right again. Only then did Templeton let Murdock's mouth go. His forehead dropped to Murdock's shoulder and he buried his face in the crook of Murdock's neck. Their harsh breathing was the only sound either made for a moment. 

"Faceman? I need to sit down. My legs aren't feeling so stand-uppish, if you catch my meaning." 

He couldn't help it; he laughed. "Mine either, Murdock." He led Murdock to the couch in the living room and sat him down. He knelt on the couch, knees on either side of Murdock's legs. His hands curled around Murdock's shoulders and he stared down at his soon-to-be lover with a devilish twinkle in his eye. 

"Face, whatcha doing?" Murdock asked warily. 

"I think you know what I'm doing," he teased as he placed light kisses on Murdock's cheeks, neck and whatever skin of his chest was exposed.

Insistent hands pushed him back. He frowned in confusion at Murdock's concerned expression. "Face, Face, believe me, I want to do this as much as you do, but I really am hungry. I waited and waited for you last night, but you didn't show and I didn't want to leave in case I missed you, but I didn't want to be rude and eat your food without asking and I didn't have any money to call in a pizza, so I just curled up on your bed 'cause it smelled like you and next thing I know, I was sleeping like a baby..."

Templeton put his fingers over Murdock's lips to stop the flow of words. "You’re serious?" Murdock nodded. "You are serious." He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Murdock's lips. "From now on, anything that's mine is yours. Food, house, whatever you want." 

Murdock's smile would put the lights of the Manhattan skyline to shame. "Really?" 

He laughed. "Really." He yelped as Murdock dumped him to the side on his race back to the kitchen. He shook his head, wondering what he was getting himself into. He walked into the kitchen to find Murdock already digging deep into the bowl of cereal he'd poured for himself. "Is that juice?" he asked as he noticed the orange color of liquid in the bowl. 

"Yep. Good old O.J. on corn flakes. Nothing like it. You want to try some?" He offered up his spoon, but Templeton held up his hand. 

"That's okay, Murdock. I'll just have coffee."

"You sure? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." 

"I'm sure." As he watched Murdock eat the first bowl, then pour the second, he wondered if he should eat something. His appetite hadn't been the best lately – too much worrying -- and he found himself gnawing at the corner of his lower lip in concentration. He became aware of silence and being watched. He looked up and met Murdock's heated gaze, fixated on his mouth. He'd never had that predatory stare directed at him before and he found he liked it. A lot. Desire snaked its way through his bloodstream, warming him from the inside out. He stood up and plucked the spoon from Murdock's hand. 

His voice was deeper than usual as he stated, "You're done eating." Murdock accepted his hand and he pulled Murdock to his feet. 

"I am?"

He guided Murdock into his bedroom and kicked the door shut. "You are," he confirmed, before his mouth closed over Murdock's. 

One hand tangled in Murdock's still-wet hair, holding him close. The other snaked between them to undo the tie of the robe, slipping inside to stroke at Murdock's abdomen. He felt a tug at his pajama shirt and took a step back so Murdock could unbutton it. He was abruptly shoved back further and he stared for a shocked second before Murdock simply took the hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head. Then he knelt and pulled off his pants and boxers, letting them pool at his ankles. Murdock pulled the tie on his own robe the rest of the way off and let it drop to the floor. 

He pulled Templeton back against him, naked flesh to naked flesh and pronounced, "This is better." 

"Much," Templeton agreed before his mouth was captured in a bone-melting, brain-exploding kiss. Where had Murdock learned to kiss like that? Surely not the VA. He was on his tiptoes, trying to make their bodies one through just their mouths, when he felt himself moving. Murdock was walking them backward to the bed. He'd get no objection from these quarters. Each step shifted their cocks, bringing them into contact, a rocking motion that was about to set him off. He managed to extract his tongue from the inferno that was Murdock's mouth and rasp, "Too much." 

Murdock continued to kiss his jaw, his throat, his ear, while murmuring, "You can never have too much Mad Dog," before the world upended and Templeton found himself flat on his back on his own bed. 

He watched, wide-eyed, as Murdock crawled across the bed, his tongue flicking like a snake's at his skin. That tongue was darting from leg to leg, but Templeton could tell it had a definite destination in mind. 

"Oh, God," he whispered just before Murdock's tongue circled the tip of his cock. "Mur-" his head fell back as liquid heat engulfed him, "-dock!" he screamed. His hands balled into fists as he tried to take back some control, but Murdock wasn't giving him a chance. He wasn't giving him anything. He was taking, taking everything he was, his control, his entire being and leaving nothing behind but raw need. His hips moved in a familiar rhythm, driving, desperate, longing for an end to the torment. 

But there was no end. Just an endless wave of building, and building, and building, until he felt as if his very body would explode if he didn't come right...this...second...yes...yes..."Yes!"...and then that incredible mouth was gone. He cried out in a tone that matched the ache in his chest, the burning pain in his cock. Frustrated tears leaked from his eyes as he tried to reach for Murdock, but he was no longer bent between his thighs. He was beside him, arms coming around him, kissing him. Kissing...wasn't enough. Couldn't be enough. "No...need more...please...you," he murmured between kisses. 

"Shh. I want give you more. So very much more." 

"Need...you," he begged, not caring about anything except filling the lonely places inside. Murdock had been the only one to do that. The only one. 

"I'll give you all I am, love. I promise." 

Gentle hands turned him to his side and he shook with the force of his need. Murdock's body settled behind him, arms around him, too far away. Always too far away. Those hands stroked his chest, tried to soothe his trembling, but there was only one thing he wanted. One thing he needed. Kisses trailed up his shoulder as he felt Murdock's thigh slip between his legs. 

"Yes." It was a prayer; a benediction, as he felt Murdock start to push into him. He hissed as a burning pain started, but a flick of a tongue at his neck distracted him and then another push. He rocked his hips back, trying to pull more of Murdock inside himself. A hand flattened against his chest, holding him steady, as Murdock's hips jerked, driving into him, hitting his prostate, sending a thousand jolts of pure energy through his body. His mouth opened on a silent scream, a cry from deep within his soul, as Murdock kept rocking deeper and deeper into him. His hips met Murdock's as the thrusts came faster, harder, just a little more, just a little deeper...Murdock's hand slipped from his chest to his cock, encircling it, stroking it and he felt the rush...coming...coming...then heat flooded him from the inside. A shout registered at his ear: his name. He couldn't breathe, held in a vortex of being drained and filled at the same time, his body no longer his own, merely a vessel for the man behind him, the man who filled in his loneliness with himself. 

Templeton finally took a breath, then another, desperately gulping in air he hadn't seen the need for moments ago. His body was slick with sweat, his hands were shaking and he had never felt better in his life. He shifted a bit, wincing at the feel of Murdock still inside him. Murdock's arms were around him, but there was no strength in his embrace. Concern started to override the haze of pleasure. 

"Murdock? You okay?" 

He felt a nuzzle on the back of his neck and then a humming started against his skin. The sensation grew stronger and he wiggled, then moaned as the humming reached behind his ear. 

"I am fiiiiine, Faceman," Murdock drawled. "How you doing?" 

He laughed, for the sheer sake of hearing it. His body was still tingling with aftershocks and he stretched, just a bit, smirking at the hitch in breath from the man behind him. "I am doing great. Better than great. Terrific." He slipped his arm under Murdock's against his chest, turning his hand until he could entwine their fingers. "Mm, I could stay like this forever." 

"That's an awful lot of take-out, muchacho," Murdock warned. "Think your bank account can handle it?" 

He burst out laughing. "Murdock, you are most definitely one of a kind." 

"That's what Doctor Richter always said," he declared proudly. He rested his chin on Templeton's shoulder. "So, whatcha want to do now?" 

"Now?" He could barely feel his legs, and Murdock wanted to know if he wanted to do something? 

"Yeah. Now." 

He smiled as a thought came to him. "I think I want to sleep for two days, then try that again." 

"Two days?" His smile widened at Murdock's incredulous tone. "Oh, come on, Face. You don't need no two days to recover from a little sex, do you?" 

With considerable effort, Templeton shifted, moved, pushed and prodded until he was face to face with Murdock. "That was not a little sex. That was...unbelievable. I've never felt like that in my entire life." 

For the first time, Templeton saw below the surface insanity that usually clouded Murdock's eyes and saw into his depths. "That was love, Face," Murdock answered seriously. 

The twisting feeling was back in his chest and he reached up to lay his hand against Murdock's cheek. "Thank you," he murmured as he lightly kissed his lover. 

Murdock didn't say anything, just pulled Templeton close, sighed and drifted to sleep. Templeton soon followed, and there were no dreams. There was no need. 

Air currents swirled across his naked back, chilling him. He reached down to pull up the covers, but something heavy lay across them. Confused, he raised his head and checked the end of the bed. A leg, not his own, was on top of them. He followed the leg up to a hip, a back, and finally, a face. Dark eyes met his. "Hey," he said, his voice thick with sleep. 

"Hey, yourself," Murdock answered. "What's the matter?" 

A shudder ran through him. "Cold." The air was on too low and he didn't feel like getting out of bed to change the thermostat. He didn't feel like getting out of bed, period. 

Murdock opened his arms, and Templeton slid into his embrace with a contented sigh. 

"You know something, Faceman?" 

"Mmmm, what?" he asked as he settled himself beside Murdock. His hand absently traced patterns on the chest he lay next to.

Murdock seemed unaffected by his ministrations. "I'm hungry. What's say we start on that staying here forever scenario and order us some Chinese." 

Well, he could hardly argue with that. It was nearly noon and he hadn't had breakfast. He placed a kiss on the nearest patch of skin; a shoulder. "Chinese it is. The usual?" He rolled over and reached for the phone, turned it on and pressed the speed dial. He rolled back in time to see Murdock's nod and then placed their order, asking for delivery. He turned off the phone and tossed it to the end of the bed. He rested his chin on Murdock's chest. "Lunch will be served in twenty minutes." 

Murdock sighed as he toyed with Templeton's hair. "You're so good to me, Face." 

He grinned. "I know." 

They lay like that until the doorbell announced the arrival of lunch. Templeton dragged himself out of bed, snagging the robe Murdock had worn earlier from the floor. He stopped at the dresser for some money, and spent a second or two making himself presentable. 

"You look good enough to eat," Murdock called from the bed, a wicked smile on his face. 

Templeton glared at him in the mirror. "Promises, promises," he called back as he headed for the living room. He paid the driver, gave him a modest tip and then locked the house back up. He detoured to the kitchen for more napkins and some utensils, then returned to the bedroom. 

There should be something obscene about Murdock, naked as the day he was born, feeding him Chinese food in bed. Of course, Templeton was just as naked and spent more time licking the occasional "accidental" drip of duck sauce that landed on Murdock's chest than he did eating. 

His lover squirmed and giggled. "That tickles." 

"Really?" he feigned ignorance and proceeded to drizzle a thin line down Murdock's breastbone. "Oh, now look what I've gone and done. I'm so clumsy. Here, allow me." He removed the carton and chopsticks from Murdock's hands and placed them on the dresser. He straddled his lover, taking care not to spill the sauce on his sheets. Then he dipped his head and slowly licked Murdock. Long, flat strokes of his tongue, from Murdock's belly to his neck, paying special attention to his nipples, though they managed to escape his terrible misdeed. He continued licking Murdock long after he stopped giggling and started to moan. 

"Faceman, you drive me wild." 

"Only fair. You drive me crazy," he commented before he blew air over the nipple he'd just licked. Murdock gasped at the sensation and Templeton repeated it on his other nipple. "You like that?" 

"Oh, yeah. Like that a lot," Murdock murmured. "Like you even better." 

"Glad to hear it," he murmured before he raised himself on his hands and gave Murdock a long, lingering kiss. 

Chinese food forgotten, Templeton set out to prove Murdock wasn't the only edible one in this bed. 

They ordered in a pizza around eight o'clock, after having spent themselves again in the early afternoon. The next three days passed much the same, with Templeton making the occasional call into the office to check messages. By the time Sunday rolled around, Templeton felt positively wanton. All he did anymore was eat, sleep and have sex. It was pure heaven. But, he had to return to work the next day and he had to explain it to Murdock. 

As they munched on cookies and milk and watched cartoons in the living room, he brought up the subject. "You know I have an agency to run." 

"Sure I do," Murdock declared proudly. "The Jonathan Tempe Agency." 

He smiled automatically, but it faded quickly. "I have to go back to work tomorrow morning." 

Murdock leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Enjoy your day, dear. Don't forget milk on the way home." 

"Murdock, I'm trying to be serious here," he sighed. He wasn't sure why he was nervous. Murdock had been taking care of himself for years. Had their intimacy brought out the protectiveness in him? "Are you going to be okay by yourself?" 

Murdock waved him off. "I'll be fine. It's just like my place, only much bigger." He went back to his cartoon. 

Templeton realized he didn't know a thing about Murdock's life the past year and a half. Insecurity niggled at the back of his mind. "Where were you living, back in LA?" he questioned, trying to keep his voice light. 

Murdock waved his hand absently. "Oh, a little place Hannibal found. It was real cozy. It had window flowers and everything." 

It was ridiculous and unfounded, but he felt jealous that Murdock's life went on without him. He crumbled a cookie between his fingers as his stomach fluttered. He felt like he was edging toward something, but he couldn't tell what. "Do you think I could use some window flowers?" he asked. 

Murdock spared a glance around and agreed, "You could use some greenery, muchacho. The place is nice, but it's not homey." 

Suddenly, that 'something' made perfect sense. He didn't want Murdock to leave. He wanted Murdock there when he got home at night. He took a steadying breath. "Maybe you'd like to help me make it homey?" 

Murdock's answer was flip. "Sure, I can do that." 

He didn't want flip. He wanted Murdock to take this seriously. Subtlety never did work with him. Templeton closed his eyes and took the final step to the edge. "Would you stay?" He couldn't hear anything over the pounding of his heart. When he opened his eyes again, Murdock was staring intently at him. 

"Do you want me to come live with you?" 

A flare of hope burned bright in his chest. "Or I'll come live with you in LA, if you want," he tossed out quickly. He reached out and clasped Murdock's hand. "I just know I have to be with you, Murdock. I don't care where." 

"You really want to live with me?" 

His grip tightened around Murdock's hand as he began to ramble. "I know this is pretty presumptuous of me. You don't normally ask someone to move in with you after five days, even if you have known them over half your life. And, I don't know what you've been doing for the past year and a half. Did you have a girlfriend? What sort of jobs did you have? Did you like the place you were staying at? I know I haven't given you a lot of reasons to stay, except the mind-blowing sex, which is a pretty incredible reason to stay, if you ask me..." 

Murdock's lips on his stopped the flow of words and stilled Templeton's mind. He relaxed into the kiss, allowing Murdock to ease him back on the couch. Murdock's kisses grew feather-light, and he pulled away slightly to stare down at him. 

"Face, calm down. You'll hyperventilate." 

Templeton bit the corner of his mouth as Murdock dropped eye contact with him. 

"Hannibal and B.A. have been taking real good care of me. They check on me now and then, making sure I'm doing good. I'll miss them." 

"I understand," Templeton answered automatically. Murdock didn't want to live with him. He could handle that. He swallowed around his heart in his throat. A tug at his hand drew his attention back to Murdock's face. Why was he looking so confused? 

"Face, did you hear what I said? I said I'll miss Hannibal and B.A. I'm moving out here." 

His mind whirled. "You did? You will?" 

Murdock nodded vigorously. 

Not even winning the Powerball could feel this good. He shouted a laugh and threw his arms around Murdock. He felt Murdock's arms come around him, holding him tight and he laughed again. He wanted to stay! A tiny worry grew in his mind, though and he extracted himself from Murdock to look into his eyes. 

"Do you mind? I mean it; if you want to move to LA, or anywhere, you let me know and I'll start making plans." 

Murdock looked around the house again, and then shook his head. "No, I like this place. It's got good karma. One can never have enough good karma." 

The worry dissipated. "You're absolutely right. It would be a shame to lose all this karma we've built up." 

Murdock smiled brightly. "Exactly." 

Templeton decided they could use some more of that good karma. He pulled Murdock close and started nuzzling at his neck. As he worked his way up to Murdock's jaw, he sensed he was being ignored. A quick peek showed Murdock's attention on the television. "Murdock?"

Murdock turned his head just enough to kiss the side of his neck and then went back to watching TV. "Hold that thought, Faceman. I want to see if the Joker catches Batman this time." 

He stared at Murdock in mild shock. A cartoon more important than sex? Why had he expected anything else from Murdock? He sighed and waited impatiently for the end credits, but Murdock surprised him at a commercial break. He dove for Templeton's mouth like a starving man and Templeton had to rush to keep up. 

Exactly two and a half minutes later, Murdock abruptly released him and turned his attention back to the TV, but not before warning, "And I was serious about the milk. No cow-juice, no HM Sex-is-my-middle-name Murdock for you, buddy." 

He dropped his head to the back of the couch and groaned. What had he gotten himself into? 

The next day, Murdock emailed Hannibal to tell him he was staying in Kansas City and asked to have his things shipped to him. Templeton was more than a bit nervous at Hannibal's possible reaction. Would he realize why Murdock was staying? Would he understand? 

When the confirming email came through, Templeton felt a rush of heat on his cheeks. 

"Take care of him, Face," was all it said.


	4. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past three days, he'd woken up to find himself sprawled across Murdock's body, his head at Murdock's shoulder. He found he liked that arrangement much better.

The first day back on the job, Templeton was certain his expression broadcast, "I just spent the past six days having my brains fucked out!" 

He said cursory good mornings to employees as he passed by on his way to his office. With a sigh of relief, he closed the door behind him. 

When he and Beth started dating, then sleeping together, there had been some comments around the office. He'd quieted them in his presence, but he was sure they continued behind their backs. The majority of the office didn't know of their breakup, but it would become evident soon enough. He took a steadying breath and moved to his desk. He was determined to have the most normal day he could, despite the memories of last night. 

Murdock had promised he'd remember him at work, and he'd made sure Templeton couldn't forget him. Murdock's obsessive nature became downright lethal if it was directed at you and he'd commanded Murdock's full attention after the cartoon was over. He winced as he sat down and then smiled. He figured it was one of those loopy, 'I'm in love' smiles he'd seen others wear, that used to annoy him. No more. He schooled his features to a more proper work expression as his secretary knocked on the door and managed to push thoughts of Murdock out of his head the rest of the day. 

When he arrived home, it was to the smell of dinner cooking. 

"Murdock?" he called as he walked into the kitchen. There, among the pots and pans, stood Murdock, decked out in full chef regalia, complete with hat. 

"Ah, the man of the house is home," Murdock announced in a horrible French accent. "Just in time for dinner. Tonight, we will be serving the pork chop, the vegetable medley and the chef's favorite, the macaroni and cheese." 

He stared in awe at the dishes and pans littering the countertops, but only saw one thing. "You cooked for me?" he asked, touched by the sentiment. The last person to cook for him had been Elizabeth, but even that had been weeks ago. 

Murdock threw down the towel. "Bah! I do not cook. I create for you." He shoved Templeton into a chair, flicked a napkin onto his lap and murmured in his ear, "And you will repay the chef tonight, yes?" 

"Yes," he promised huskily. He tilted his head back and accepted the kiss Murdock gave him. 

"Did you miss me?" Murdock asked with a saucy grin. 

Templeton glared at him. "Hardly. Every time I moved, I thought of you." 

"Isn't that so sweet?" Murdock replied gleefully. 

He leaned forward and promised, "Trust me, tonight I repay the favor." 

Murdock wagged his eyebrows. "Looking forward to it." 

They finished the surprisingly good meal with them mock-fighting over the last pork chop. 

"I had a hard day at work and I deserve it," Templeton argued. 

"I made the meal and I say the chef deserves it!" Murdock declared with a toss of his head. 

"I paid for that pork chop," Templeton pointed out. 

"Did you remember the milk?" Murdock asked as he folded his hands and rested his chin on them. 

He opened and shut his mouth. He'd completely forgotten to pick up milk. Murdock's words came back to haunt him: no milk, no sex. "You wouldn't," he wondered with a bit of fear coloring his words. 

"Oh, I would, kimosabe. Plus, you have to do the dishes." He threw the hat at Templeton and made a dash for the living room. 

"Hey!" Templeton was on his feet the next second and chasing Murdock around the couch. "You can't do this to me, just because I forgot milk?" he pleaded. 

"Milk is a staple of life. I need all the vitamin D I can get," Murdock argued as he dove onto the couch. He grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV. "Besides, there's a Betty Grable movie on tonight." 

His eyes widened in horror. "Murdock, you can't do this. It's...it's inhumane." 

Murdock grinned and waved the remote at him. "Au contraire, my love. This is your house. I am merely the little woman." He fluttered his eyelashes at Templeton. 

Two could play at that game. "You are not a woman and you're hardly little," he remarked with a lascivious glance to Murdock's groin. 

Murdock gasped and covered himself. "Why, I declare." 

"So do I," Templeton replied with a wag of his eyebrows. He thought of a compromise. "Tell you what. I'll do the dishes, you program the VCR and we'll go get some movies tonight. How's that?" 

Murdock raised himself to his knees and started to bounce. "Can I pick what I want? Can I? Huh?" 

"Anything you want. But only three," he cautioned. 

"And a computer game?" 

Templeton rolled his eyes. "And one computer game."

"And some popcorn."

His eyes narrowed. "Don't push it, Murdock." 

"Okay, okay," he relented. 

"And on the way home," Templeton said with nonchalance, "We can stop and get milk." 

"Nuh-uh, Face, that's not fair!" Murdock protested. "You were supposed to bring it home from work."

He was sure he looked as satisfied as a cat with a bowl of cream. He certainly felt like it. "As long as I bring milk into the house, I don't see when I bring it in matters." 

Murdock pouted and crunched up in a corner of the couch. "Fine. Have it your way. But you have to watch the movies with me." 

"I can't stay up all night watching movies," he cautioned. "I've got an early meeting tomorrow." 

"Just one, please? Please?" Murdock begged, hands clasped in front of him. 

He held up his index finger. "One. But first, I've got to tackle the kitchen." 

Murdock leaped over the back of the couch. "I'll help." 

Together, they cleaned the kitchen and then Murdock programmed the VCR while Templeton changed. They got three movies, one computer game, a gallon of milk and some microwave popcorn – Templeton's compromise. 

Murdock's movie choice for the evening was a very old black and white film, foreign no less and Templeton felt himself drifting to sleep before it was over. He woke up when it was dark outside. His head was on Murdock's chest and the steady rise and fall indicated he was asleep. The movie had long stopped; the TV was on some infomercial. Luckily they had turned the sound low for the movie, as there had been no point in listening to it if they couldn't understand it, so it didn't disturb them. Something must have woken him up, though. He lay against Murdock, hand under his head against Murdock's chest and waited to see if that 'something' repeated. Murdock muttered something in his sleep and moved restlessly. That must have been it. Templeton rubbed at Murdock's chest, trying to soothe him. In truth, Murdock didn't sleep much. The constant workings of his mind wouldn't allow him to rest for long periods of time. One of the things that would help was music, but Templeton couldn't reach the stereo from there. He hated to disturb Murdock, but then he felt him move under his hand. 

"Mm, Face? Where am I?"

"You're on the couch, Murdock. Come on, let's go to bed." He got up and offered Murdock his hand. Murdock rubbed his eye as he stumbled into the bedroom. "Lie down," Templeton instructed and he tucked Murdock into bed. He clicked on the bedside radio, still tuned to the station that Murdock had listened to the first night he'd fallen asleep in his bed. The sounds were barely recognizable to his ear, but he knew that Murdock would hear it. He changed into his pajama bottoms and crawled into bed, then curled around Murdock and fell asleep. 

~~~

Two days later, he decided to surprise Murdock with lunch. He opened the door with a flourish, announcing that he had a surprise, expecting to be jumped at any second. Except no one was home. A quick sweep of the house proved Murdock wasn't there and Templeton started to panic. Murdock didn't know the city that well. He could get lost. He could pick a fight with someone and get in trouble. Templeton had put his special tools of the trade in a safe deposit box, thinking he no longer needed them. If Murdock ended up in jail, there could be questions...

He heard a key in the lock and sent up a silent thanks when Murdock walked through the door. He rushed over and caught up his lover in a bear hug.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," he announced as he grabbed Murdock's face and kissed him soundly. 

Murdock blinked and licked his lips. "Like what? What are you doing home during the day?" 

He explained, "I came home to surprise you, but you weren't here. I was afraid something happened." It sounded silly now that he could see nothing had happened to Murdock, then Murdock grinned.

"Something did happen." 

Templeton immediately assessed Murdock's body for signs of a fight. He didn't notice any blood or black eyes. What he did notice was that Murdock was wearing a suit – one of his suits – that was slightly too short for him. Warning bells went off in his head. "Murdock? What's going on?" 

Murdock's grin turned to a smirk and he started to bounce on the balls of his feet. "I got a job." 

He couldn't have heard that right. "A job?"

"Yeah, a job." Murdock tucked his thumbs into the lapels of his jacket. "You are looking at the newest employee of the SpeeDee Swifty Courier Service. I get to ride a bicycle all over downtown, making deliveries. Isn't it great?" 

Murdock went out and found himself a job. That's where he'd been. Not out getting into a fight. Not getting lost in the city, but getting a job making deliveries. "Yeah, great." He had to sit down. 

Murdock's enthusiasm was replaced with worry. "Face? You're not upset at me, are you?" 

"No. No," he stated more firmly, when he realized how weak that sounded. "I'm just surprised. You got a job?" 

The smile was back. It was a smile of pride. Murdock wanted this job. "Yep. I start tomorrow." 

"That's great. Really great. I mean it." He gave Murdock a slow, deep kiss to show him how much he was sorry. 

"Mmm, Faceman, you keep that up and you'll have to call work and tell 'em you can't come back in this afternoon," Murdock warned him. 

Templeton sighed and leaned his forehead against Murdock's. "You're right. I'll go back. But it's going to be the longest afternoon of my life. I'll pick up something on the way home to celebrate, how's that?" 

"That's fine by me. After tonight, don't expect home cooked meals anymore." 

"Did you get a job just so you didn't have to cook anymore?" Templeton teased. 

"How could you think such a thing?" Murdock gasped. 

Templeton laughed. "Come on, I brought lunch. We can start celebrating early." 

~~~

The days turned into weeks and things were going pretty well. Murdock's wilder tendencies were mellowing out and Templeton was learning to live with mild disorder instead of his usual spotlessness. He was also getting used to waking up with Murdock wrapped around him like a blanket. It was a discerning feeling, but he was learning not to panic when he woke up with his nose buried in Murdock's chest. 

The past three days, he'd woken up to find himself sprawled across Murdock's body, his head at Murdock's shoulder. He found he liked that arrangement much better. 

He also liked the days when Murdock made deliveries to the Agency. He started to hear whispers around the office, but chose to ignore them. So what if he smiled a little brighter after Murdock left? Who cared if he was in a better mood after a 'lunch date'? It didn't interfere with his work and that was the most important thing. The new account was running smoothly, largely in part to Beth. She had taken charge and made it work, and Templeton was pleased with the results. His slight apprehension at working so closely with Elizabeth after their breakup eased as the weeks went on without incident and he felt comfortable in asking to see Maria again. 

He saw her at least once a week after that, taking her out for ice cream or just stopping by to read her a story. It wasn't as awkward as he feared, being in Beth's house again. After his fifth visit, she made a comment that startled him. 

"I take it you found what you were searching for?" 

It showed? Granted, it was hard to hide the fact that he was deliriously happy, but he was a master of disguise. He should be able to mask his true feelings. But Beth knew him too well. She was the only other person besides the Team who did know him so well. After he tucked Maria into bed that night, he decided to tell Beth about Murdock. 

"I didn't realize I was searching for something, but you're right, I did find it. Or rather, I found someone." How do you tell your former girlfriend that you're in love with a man? Taking a deep breath, he did just that. "You remember I said I was in Vietnam?" At her nod, he continued, "Well, I was very close to three men. We were a special team. One of those men was named Murdock." He met her eyes. "We've known each other over twenty-five years. He's the best friend I ever had. We never lost touch, except for two years ago, when I moved out here. He's the someone I was searching for." 

She studied him for a minute and he felt the urge to squirm under her scrutiny. "I don't ever remember seeing your eyes this calm before. Your mind was always working, always distracted. I don't think you even knew. But it's gone, now." 

He wasn't sure he was comfortable with her observation. It made him feel...exposed. "You don't think it's odd that I'm admitting I'm...with...a man?" he asked. It felt odd to him. A lifetime spent with women, chasing women, loving women, to find yourself wanting a man? He hadn't examined it too closely and maybe it was for the best. 

She shook her head. "I can't say I'm not stunned, because I am. I never pictured you the 'swinging both ways' type." 

He cleared his throat nervously. "Well, neither did I, to be honest. Things just sort of...happened that way. I've had one string of bad relationships after another. The only constant in my life was Murdock. It took a lot to get me to realize that he meant more to me; that I wanted more than his friendship." He suddenly realized whom he was telling this to and a horrible feeling of guilt washed over him. "You understand that all of this had nothing to do with you. I didn't even realize I felt this way about him until a few weeks ago." 

It was on the tip of his tongue to apologize to her again, but she wouldn't let him. "Jon, I'm going to give you the same advice you gave me. I hope this Murdock is someone who truly loves you and will give you the best life possible." 

"I can't help it. I feel terrible." His anguish was real. He hadn't meant to hurt her, not then and not now. "Not even a month after I, well, break up with you, I'm with someone else." 

The light in her eyes changed slightly. "Don't get me wrong, Jon. If I thought there was a chance for us again, I'd be willing to give it another try. But it sounds like you and this Murdock have a long history together and you've obviously had feelings for him for quite awhile. I don't think I'd have a chance." 

He suddenly felt very uncomfortable and stood up, tearing himself away from her gaze. "It's time I should be going. Murdock'll be wondering where I am." 

Beth stood up as well. "Does he know about Maria?" 

"He knows about you and Maria," he answered. He hedged before hinting, "He'd like to meet her, someday." 

She hesitated. "I'll have to think about that." 

"I understand," he replied. He tried to work up a smile, but couldn't. "Good night, Beth." 

She didn't seem to want to smile, either, but she did walk him to the door. "Good night, Jon." 

When he arrived back at the house, Murdock was waiting up. He went straight into his arms and stated without preamble, "I told Elizabeth about us." He closed his eyes as Murdock's fingers combed through his hair. 

"What did she say?" 

He thought back over her reactions. "She was pretty okay with it, all things considered." 

Murdock was quiet for a few moments. "How are you doing, Faceman? You okay?" 

It took him longer to sort through his feelings. It was awkward talking to Beth about another lover and even more awkward that the lover was a man. "I'm...not sure. I feel out of sorts. The entire discussion was surreal." 

"Like a Picasso painting?" Murdock guessed. 

"More like a Jackson Pollack," he corrected. "All dots and squiggles, not making sense even when you stare until your eyes cross." 

Murdock's hand slipped from his hair to his back, rubbing in small circles. "Want me to kiss it and make it better?" 

"Sex isn't the answer to everything," Templeton argued half-heartedly. He needed something – he needed Murdock, to touch him and ground him once again. 

"It's a good starting place," Murdock grinned as he leaned down to kiss Templeton. The rest of the evening passed in a pleasant blur. 

~~~

A month after Templeton discussed Murdock with Elizabeth, he brought his lover over to meet Maria. Templeton was a jumble of nerves and Murdock kept fiddling with his jacket. 

"Will you stop that? It makes you look nervous," Templeton snapped. 

"Well, you're playing with your tie," Murdock countered. 

He was? He looked down to see his tie wrapped between two fingers. He dropped it abruptly. "Got any gum?" he asked half-heartedly just as the door opened. 

"Jon," Elizabeth nodded to him. "Good to see you." Her eyes flicked to Murdock and Templeton's stomach took a dive to his feet as he introduced them. 

"Elizabeth, this is Murdock. Murdock, Elizabeth Ramirez." 

Murdock had his good and bad days in relation to meeting other people and Templeton sent up a silent prayer that today would be a good day. 

"Mrs. Ramirez. It's an honor." Murdock took her hand and kissed it, which Templeton thought was overkill, but Elizabeth didn't seem to mind. 

"It's nice to meet you," she replied, her expression a bit stunned. "Won't you come in? Maria will be down..."

"Jonathan!" The little girl bounded through the living room and jumped up into Templeton's arms. 

Templeton staggered back with the force of her landing, but laughed. "Did you miss me, munchkin?" 

"Mom said you were taking me to the park. Can we get ice cream? Can we?" 

He tried to calm her down. "Slow down, Maria. First, I want to you meet a friend of mine." He pointed to his lover. "This is Murdock." 

"Hey there, little lady," Murdock murmured and waved shyly. 

She beamed at him. "Hi, Murdock. Are you coming to the park with us?" 

Murdock's gaze flicked to Templeton's, then to Elizabeth's. "I'd like to, if you want me to. And it's okay with your momma." 

Maria bit her lower lip in fierce concentration. "What's your favorite animal?" 

"I used to have a pet dog named Billy. He was my absolute bestest, favorite pet of all time." Murdock threw his arms out to the side, indicating how long a stretch that was. 

Templeton smiled as he remembered Billy. He was the best imaginary dog a guy could ask for. 

Maria's eyes got big. "What happened to him?"

"Oh, he lived to be a very, very old dog. He got cranky and ornery but I loved him anyway." Murdock jerked his head toward Templeton. "Sort of like this guy, here." 

"Murdock," Templeton hissed in shock. Heat flooded his cheeks and he feared he was blushing. 

Maria giggled. "Can Murdock come with us to the park, Jonathan? He's funny." 

"It's up to your mom," Templeton said, as he raised his eyebrows at Elizabeth. It really was up to her. If she didn't feel comfortable about Murdock with Maria, Templeton would be disappointed, but he'd understand. He wasn't so sure about Murdock, though. 

"Mom, please?" Maria whined. 

Elizabeth didn't answer right away. Instead, she said, "Maria, why don't you go upstairs and get your jacket. It's chilly outside." 

"Yeah!" the girl squealed as Templeton released her. He heard her bound up the stairs, but his eyes were on Elizabeth. Her eyes were on Murdock. 

"Murdock, my daughter is a pretty good judge of character. She got that from me. I don't know much about you, but I know Jon. I know he would never put my daughter at risk or ask me to trust someone he didn't fully trust himself." 

Murdock was solemn as he declared softly, "I promise you, ma'am, that I would never, ever do anything to hurt your little girl. And I swear that I will do everything in my power to keep her safe from bullies and make sure she looks before crossing the street and she doesn't make herself sick by eating too much ice cream." 

A soft smile curled her lips. "You remind me of her. You have a child-like innocence about you." She met Templeton's gaze and he saw her approval shining through. 

He'd told her of Murdock's admittance to the VA and subsequent release on his own recognizance. She had expressed reluctance at first, but his powers of persuasion still affected her and she relented to meeting Murdock. They agreed that if she saw nothing to object to, then they would take Maria to the park for the day. And it looked like she didn't find anything to object to. 

"Mom, I can't find my jacket!" Maria's wail broke the odd tension the three adults shared. 

"I have to find her jacket," she said with a patient, motherly smile. On the way to the stairs, she turned to Murdock. "I had my reservations about you. Jon told me about your past. I can't say it didn't worry me. You must understand, I have to protect my daughter. But I can see that you are what you say you are. You have a good heart." She disappeared up the stairs and Murdock turned questioning eyes to him. 

"Faceman, what was that about?" 

Templeton stared after her with a soft smile on his face. Murdock had an irrepressible charm and it had won Beth over. "I think she was trying to say she likes you, Murdock." 

"Oh. Well, I like her, too," Murdock said. "But I've always liked your ex-girlfriends. You have good taste." 

"Murdock!" he hissed. 

"What?" his lover growled softly. 

Templeton fidgeted and glanced around. "Can we not have this conversation in her house?" 

"Fine," Murdock grumped and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

Maria came barreling down the stairs and grabbed Templeton's hand. "Let's go let's go let's go..."

He dug his heels in and managed not to be pulled to the door. "Just a minute! I have to tell your mom what time we'll have you back." 

"Before dinner," Beth answered him as she came down the stairs. "And please, no ice cream after three? I want her to eat her dinner." 

Maria pouted and tugged Templeton's hand. "Fine. Whatever. Let's go!" 

"We'll be back by five," Templeton promised as he was half-dragged out of the house. Murdock was right behind him, closing the door. 

The park was only a short ride down the street and Maria immediately headed for the jungle gym. Templeton and Murdock followed at a slower pace, keeping her within sight. 

Murdock had been uncharacteristically quiet, which indicated something was wrong. As they approached a bench, Murdock sat down and asked quietly, "When did you guys discuss me?" 

Templeton sat next to him and tried to gauge how angry Murdock was. He was being entirely too calm; that meant he was pretty upset. "Two weeks ago. I told her you wanted to meet Maria and she asked about you." 

Murdock wouldn't look at him. "So you told her I was nuts." 

"No," he snapped, horrified. Even if Murdock had been certified by the state, Templeton certainly wouldn't go around telling just anyone about it. "All I said was that you were in the VA and that you were released." Murdock shifted away from him on the bench and he scooted closer. Templeton pleaded, "Murdock, I had to tell her that. She can sense when I'm lying and this is her daughter. You wouldn't want to hand over your kid to someone you didn't know, would you?" 

Murdock folded his arms tight across his chest. "I guess not." 

He didn't think he was getting through. "She liked you," he prodded. "I could tell." 

Murdock's tone was curt. "Yeah? So?"

He stared in disbelief. "So? Murdock, I left her for you. Don't you think she felt strange, having her ex-boyfriend's lover in her house? I know I did. That she felt secure enough in my judgment, that she would trust you, says a lot." 

Murdock raised his head and glared at him. "Really? What does it say?" 

The question caught him off guard. "Well, it says she trusts me." 

Murdock's gaze was growing more focused on him. "And that's important to you." 

Despite the chilly weather, Templeton was sweating. If Murdock's eyes got any more intense, they might burn holes through him. "Well, yes. I didn't think she could, after I broke up with her. It's hard enough having to work together." 

"I have a solution for that," Murdock announced suddenly. 

He was surprised. "You do?" 

The gaze focused, piercing and fear welled up in Templeton. "Sure. Go back to her." 

He must have heard wrong. He had to have heard wrong. Murdock didn't just tell him to go back to Beth. "Excuse me?" 

Murdock's eyes filled with tears as he snapped, "I didn't ask you to break up with her. I didn't ask you to leave her. You decided that on your own. And I'm beginning to think you didn't want to break up with her at all. I think you just got scared, like you always do when things get serious and saw me as your way out." 

His mouth worked, but no sound came out. He didn't know what to say. What could he say? "Murdock...I...you've got this all wrong. I was there to see Maria, not Beth." 

Murdock held up a hand. "Don't get me wrong, here, 'cause Maria's a great kid, but she's not yours, Face. You have no attachments to her in any way whatsoever. So why are you still seeing her?" He waited a split second before continuing. "Let me tell you what I think. I think it's because she's her daughter. The woman you were going to marry before I came along. Because you still want the wife and kids and a stable homelife and you can't have that with me. With them, you've got it pre-made." 

Templeton sat in stunned silence as Murdock's accusation washed over him. It couldn't be true. It couldn't. It was just Murdock's paranoid delusions coming to the forefront. He should have expected them at some point. Things had been going great since Murdock agreed to move in. No problems, no serious arguments, no hurt feelings. 

At least, he hadn't thought so, but looking at Murdock's drawn expression, he began to rethink the hurt feelings. Did this all just happen in the space from the car to the bench or had Murdock been feeling this way for awhile? He thought over the past few weeks, trying to remember who kept bringing up Elizabeth. Did he do it or did Murdock? Did Murdock really want to meet Maria or was it something he thought Murdock wanted, because he wanted it? Could what Murdock said be true? Could his feelings for Beth be interfering with those for Murdock? She had meant a great deal to him and he doubted those feelings would ever go away. But how strong were they? Were they strong enough to make him question what he was feeling for Murdock? 

He realized Murdock was now standing and staring down the street. 

"I guess I have your answer, then, huh? I think I'll walk home." 

He finally found his voice. "Murdock, wait," he called as he reached out to catch Murdock's arm before he could leave. "Don't walk away from me. Not like this." 

Murdock jerked his arm from Templeton's grip. He challenged, "What do you feel for me, Face? Do you love me?" 

"You know I do," he answered. 

Murdock's eyes shone with unshed tears and Templeton was suddenly very nervous. "Why haven't you ever said it, huh? Why? It is 'cause I'm a man? Or because I used to be looney tunes?"

"What do you mean, I never said it? I say it all the time," Templeton argued, though some part of him screamed in denial. When had he said it? Surely that first night, when Murdock made love to him for the first time. But all he remembered from that night was a desperate need and that need being answered. When Murdock announced he found a job? When he agreed to stay in Kansas City? 

Murdock shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, Face, but you haven't. I don't think you're ready to, yet." 

"Of course I am! I-" and that's when it happened. He hesitated. The words were there, he could feel them pushing against his chest, but they wouldn't form. Panicked, he looked up at Murdock and pleaded, "I do. I really do." 

"I know you do, Face," Murdock answered sadly, then turned and started walking away. 

"I do," Templeton whispered to his retreating back. The wind kicked up, tossing leaves across the ground and blowing his hair into his eyes. At least, that's what he told himself as a tear slipped down his cheek. He loved Murdock. He was in love with Murdock. So why couldn't he say it? Why did the words stop in his throat? The old ache was back in his chest, the one that used to wake him in the middle of the night, wondering what it was he was missing. 

He became aware of a tugging at his sleeve. "Jonathan?" Maria was looking at him in concern. "Why did Murdock leave?" 

Templeton stared in the direction Murdock went, unable to see him anymore. "He wasn't feeling well. He went home," he explained. His voice sounded rough to his own ears. Like he'd been crying for hours. He felt like he had. 

Maria's voice sounded far away. "Do you want to go home, too and take care of him?" 

He wanted nothing more than to run home and beg Murdock's forgiveness. He didn't know if it would be enough, though, or if it was too late. Templeton tried to pull himself together. "No. We came here so you could play in the park and that's just what we'll do." 

She traced a tear track on his cheek. "But he's sad. And you're sad." 

"Murdock will be all right." He said nothing of himself, however. He couldn't; not right now. He squared his shoulders and smiled at her, but by her expression, he knew she could see right through his bravado. 

She slipped her hand into his and pulled him to his feet. "Come on." 

"Where are we going?" he questioned. 

She announced, "You're going to take me home, then you're going to talk to Murdock." 

"Maria!" Her brashness startled him. 

She pulled him down until he knelt on the grass and she was able to stare him in the eye. "I know you loved my mom. Do you still love her?" 

He thought, and listened, and searched, but didn't feel anything. Nothing ached, nothing twisted. "No," he answered with moderate confidence. 

"Do you love Murdock?" she asked simply. 

He knew his face colored at her bold statement. "Maria, I don't think your mom..."

She placed her hands on her hips. "I know a lot more than mom thinks I do. Murdock said he loved you. Did he mean it?" 

God, her eyes looked just like Murdock's. Wide, innocent, child-like. But she saw far more than a child should. "Yes," he whispered. 

She cocked her head to the side and frowned. "Why didn't you say it back?" 

Why didn't he? What was holding him back? If it wasn't his feelings for Beth, then what? 

Murdock's words were transformed by Maria. "Are you scared?" 

He smiled humorlessly. "That's just what Murdock said." 

"That's two against one." She tugged his hand again. "Come on. You have to say you're sorry and tell him you love him and everything will be all right." 

If it would be that simple, he'd give his right arm. He knew better, though. He'd never seen Murdock so angry. So bitter and hurt. It would take a lot for Murdock to forgive him, if he even saw a way to do it. 

He drove Maria back to her mother's and parked in the driveway. "Maria..." he began, but she interrupted him with a serious look. 

"If you tell Murdock you love him, you're not going to come around anymore, are you?" she asked softly. 

He pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I don't think so," he answered her honestly. "I can't be a surrogate father to you, no matter how much I wanted to. I'm going to miss you, though." 

She didn't say anything, just leaned up and kissed him sloppily on the cheek, then opened the car door and ran inside. He stepped out of his car and started to follow her, but a few seconds later, Beth came outside, her expression worried.

"What's wrong? Why is Maria crying?" She glanced inside the car. "Where's Murdock?" 

Templeton stared at the woman he thought he wanted to marry. Why was he here? The wife, the kids, the house...they didn't mean what they used to. They were just symbols of family. Of happiness. Of what he thought he wanted. Now he knew it wasn't enough and never would be. He looked Beth straight in the eye. "I told Maria I wouldn't be able to see her anymore." 

"Why not?" she demanded quietly. 

"I think you know why. I'm not her father. I'm not even her mother's boyfriend anymore. It's not my place and it's not my right." His expression softened. "She's a great kid. I'm going to miss her. Good-bye, Beth." He got back into his car and drove back to his house, his entire being numb. 

He opened the front door, halfway expecting Murdock to be packing his bags. Instead, he found him curled up on the bed, his arms wrapped around a pillow, rocking back and forth gently. 

"Murdock?" he called softly. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling the subtle motions that Murdock was causing. "Murdock, are you still with me?" 

His dark eyes flickered in recognition, but he didn't cease his movements. 

Templeton reached out and stroked Murdock's hair. "I told Beth that I couldn't see Maria anymore. You were right. I still thought of them as my family. I've had this picture in my mind of what I thought a family was for so long, that I couldn't see any other variation on it. And I made some stupid decisions based on that idea of what a family is. I've been making the wrong choices for such a long time. I hope it's not too late to say this, but you are my family. The Team has always been my family, but you...you were different. I never understood why, until you came here. I might have understood back in LA when you kissed me for the first time, but I just couldn't comprehend it at the time. Love wasn't something I understood. I thought I did, but I didn't know the first thing about it. You've taught me, though. What it means. What it is. That it's not just a feeling. Not just in a kiss or a touch. It's everything. And I almost missed it again." 

His voice was getting hoarse and words were getting harder to say, but he had to say them now. If he didn't, he didn't know when he'd have the courage again. "I've hurt you so bad. I didn't mean to. I've never meant to hurt you. But I keep messing up and making things worse between us. You deserve better than me, Murdock. I'll understand if you want to go back to LA. It might be better if you were as far away from me as possible. Then you wouldn't be hurt anymore." He lay down behind Murdock and wrapped his arms around him. "Please, say something, Murdock. Anything." 

But Murdock remained stubbornly silent. Templeton hugged his lover tighter, feeling as though Murdock were miles away instead of in his arms. A cold chill settled over his heart and as he rocked with Murdock's motions, he drifted to a place in his mind where he couldn't feel. 

Slowly, he became aware of his name being called. 

Murdock's concerned expression came into focus. His eyes were red-rimmed, as if he'd been crying. Just one more hurt he'd caused his lover. 

Murdock's voice was matter of fact as he said, "You're wrong, you know. You hurt me. Hurt me real bad. But I'd hurt more if I was away from you." 

Templeton's eyes filled with tears as he realized what Murdock was saying. "You want to stay with me?" 

"I have to stay with you, Face. You're like the blood in my veins. The cream in my coffee. The..." Murdock stopped himself from continuing the cliché's. He stated simply, "I have to stay." 

Templeton's smile was watery, but determined, as he wrapped his arms around Murdock. He felt Murdock stiffen and pulled back. "I'm sorry. I don't want to push you. I just...I was afraid I had ruined everything. I was afraid you wouldn't want me anymore." 

Murdock's smile was sad. "Not gonna happen, Faceman. I'm going to want you until the day I die and then some ten years afterwards." 

A smile started to form, but wasn't strong enough. "How badly have I messed things up? How can I make up for what I've done?" 

"One advantage to loving someone is the capacity to forgive that person," Murdock recited. He didn't make a move towards Templeton, but he didn't shy away, either. "Now, I'm not saying I'm ready to pick out those window flowers with you anytime soon, but over time, I think we'll be okay." 

He stared at his lover in amazement. "How can you be so patient with me? You've upended your whole life for me and all I've done is gone in circles, messing everything up." 

Murdock's smile turned gentle. "I've been waiting nearly half my life for you to come around, Face. I knew you needed time to realize your feelings." He reached up and stopped an inch from threading his fingers through Templeton's hair. His hand dropped back to his lap. "You never could see what was right in front of you. The only commitment you ever had was to the Team and that was out of a sense of loyalty or duty or something, wasn't it?" 

Murdock really was the only one who truly understood him. "I suppose so. I've been pretty much the comic book playboy most of my life." He shrugged helplessly and dropped his gaze to the bed. "I don't know any other way to act." 

"Sure you do, Face," Murdock crooned. "Sure you do. You just don't realize you've got it inside you. Look at me, huh?" Murdock's hand on his face tilted his head up until Murdock could look him in the eye. "Why'd you place that first ad in the paper? And the second?" 

He licked his suddenly dry lips. "Be-because my dreams were bothering me. I thought you could help me. Thought you would know what they meant. Hoped you would." 

"Do you know why you thought I could help you?" Murdock asked. 

He managed to barely shake his head, unable to speak. Whatever Murdock was driving at, it sent a wave of fear through him. 

"Think about it, Face. You were on the verge of having your dream. Why'd you give it up?" Murdock asked quietly. 

His hand on Templeton's face refused to let him lower his head, so instead, he closed his eyes. It didn't help. He still saw that determined light in Murdock's eyes. What did Murdock want? It felt like his heart was being squeezed inside his chest. "It – it wasn't what I wanted," he choked out. 

"Why not? What did you want?" Murdock persuaded gently. 

A tear slipped down his cheek, wetting Murdock's hand. "I wanted you." He shuddered on an indrawn breath, the force of his emotions leaving him gasping. His eyes flew open and he met Murdock's gaze. "I wanted you," he repeated. His hands gripped Murdock's thighs and he searched Murdock's eyes. "My dreams were telling me that, but I wasn't listening. I didn't want to hear. I didn't want to admit that I was in love with my best fr...oh, God." He reached up and crushed Murdock against him. "I'm not ashamed of you. I'm not ashamed of what I feel. I love you, Murdock. Love that feels this good; it shouldn't matter where it comes from. My heart was trying to tell me that, but my brain interfered. I always tried to hide my true feelings from everyone, including myself. I knew I could never have a normal life. I knew the wife and kids were probably an impossibility, but dreams are hard to let go of." He couldn't continue around the lump in his throat. He just clung to Murdock and prayed he hadn't been too late. 

"What did you say, Faceman?" 

Templeton unwrapped himself from Murdock enough to look in his eyes. "What?" 

Murdock's eyes were shining with tears again, but Templeton didn't think he was upset. He looked more stunned. "Tell me again, Face." 

"Tell you what again?" He thought back over his words and his eyes widened in shock. "I said I loved you," he repeated, his voice full of disbelief. "I said it." 

"Say it again," Murdock pleaded. 

The mind-numbing pain he'd been in dissolved, leaving him with a new ache. "I love you," he whispered and the ache intensified. Whoever said love hurts got it right, but it was also the most incredible feeling he'd ever experienced. It felt so good to finally say it. It felt right. It felt like coming home. 

Tears fell from Murdock's eyes as he asked, "Again?"

Templeton leaned forward and kissed his tears. "I love you. Love you, love you, love you," he chanted in between kisses. "Oh, God, I never knew saying three little words could be so incredible." 

"You should try being on the receiving end," Murdock whispered as he stroked Templeton's hair. 

He smiled at Murdock and planted a kiss on his nose. "I have been. I think I like saying it. But I like feeling it best of all." 

"Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby," Murdock said with a smirk. 

"You've got that right," Templeton agreed. His heart was thrumming in his chest and he was sure Murdock could hear it. He lightly kissed Murdock once more, then glanced around their bedroom, feeling oddly out of place. "I feel like something should have changed." 

Murdock's hand was moving in distracting circles at his lower back. "Like what, Faceman?" 

He frowned. "I don't know. I feel different, but everything looks the same. I guess I always thought..."

Murdock pulled him close for a soul-searching kiss. "You think too much, Face. We're gonna have to break you of that habit," he murmured. Clothing was impatiently shoved aside, an unforgivable barrier between them, then Murdock proceeded to lick, kiss, suck and bite every square inch of his lover. 

Sex with Murdock took on a whole new meaning. Another level existed, one Templeton had been unaware of until now. Murdock was his source of air, nourishment, life. He told him when to breathe. He instructed his heart when to beat. He willed his body to succumb to his ministrations and Templeton happily gave himself over. 

Short, gasping moans filled the air as Murdock went down on him. He dug his heels into the bed, trying to get Murdock to take him deeper, but his lover was being stubborn. He heard himself begging; pleading, and he didn't care. He tried to get his hands in Murdock's hair to push him down, but Murdock's fingers intertwined with his and held him at bay. Murdock took his sweet time, twirling and licking, with never enough pressure; never enough suction, until Templeton thought surely, surely he couldn't take anymore. 

Then Murdock engulfed him in one fell swoop and Templeton's world shattered. Inarticulate, wordless sounds escaped him, words inadequate for what he was feeling. What he was experiencing. He hovered at the edge of consciousness, his body humming with his climax as he felt Murdock push his knees up and start to enter him. 

He rode the wave of pleasure, only minimally reciprocating, but Murdock didn't seem to mind. He didn't seem to even notice, he was so focused on Templeton. As Murdock thrust into him again and again, their hands locked in an unforgiving grip, Templeton held on as if his life depended on it. He wrapped his legs around Murdock's waist to give him more leverage. As he shifted, Murdock slammed into his prostate again and again, driving him into mind-numbing ecstasy. His cries joined Murdock's, their voices rising until he felt Murdock climax inside him. 

He could feel Murdock shaking over his own body's trembling. Murdock's breathing was ragged in his ear. Their bodies were slick with sweat and Templeton had a hard time catching his breath. 

Murdock gulped as he collapsed onto Templeton's chest. "Love you, Temp," he murmured before exhaustion claimed him. 

He flexed his fingers, circulation causing them to tingle. He could feel sleep tugging at his conscious, but he wanted to experience this a little while longer. It wasn't every day that he told someone he loved them, and truly meant it. And he'd certainly never had sex – no, made love – afterwards. It was incredible. Everything he thought he knew had been transformed in the last half hour. From thinking Murdock was ready to leave him, to reaffirming their love in the oldest act known to mankind, was beyond his comprehension. His body felt heavy. His eyelids drooped, and sleep clawed at him. "Love you, Murdock," he whispered before he drifted to sleep.


	5. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmastime, and Face has a special surprise planned for Murdock; a visit from two very dear friends.

The next day, Templeton wasn't surprised to find Elizabeth's resignation letter on his desk. His immediate reaction was of anger. If he could work with her, why couldn't she work with him? Then the little bit of guilt he still harbored toward her and Maria surfaced, reminding him that he was the one who walked out on them. Obviously, Beth felt uncomfortable being around him. It was a loss to the company and he made a note for his secretary to place ads immediately for a new graphic designer. Personally, it was a closure to a chapter in his life. 

The next few days found Templeton searching for a way to make everything up to Murdock. The holidays were approaching and he wanted to get him something special. It was easy to buy things that would make Murdock happy; a few computer games, a new ball cap, membership in the local movie rental place. But he didn't want to settle for 'happy'. He wanted their first Christmas together – truly together – to be memorable. 

Late in the afternoon as he scrolled through his email, inspiration struck. It would mean facing his past as a slightly different man, but Hannibal and B.A. were family. They hadn't seen Murdock in months, and himself in over two years. The few emails they'd exchanged were polite, but didn't go into detail about any of their lives. Templeton was pretty sure Hannibal knew why Murdock had moved to Kansas City, but B.A. never said anything one way or the other. For all Templeton knew, B.A. was glad to have the crazy fool half a country away. He sent off separate emails to Hannibal and B.A., inviting them out to his place for Christmas Day. He included directions and his phone number at the office, explaining that it was to be a surprise for Murdock. 

It wasn't a lot, but it was a start. He had an idea for another of Murdock's presents, but it would require some skill on his part to pull off. Murdock's jacket was in tatters. The leather was cracked and faded to almost white, but it was Murdock's favorite. He never went anywhere without it. Getting a replica of the design would be a challenge, but he figured he could spare a morning to sneak it out of the house and take it to a leather shop. The hardest part would be Murdock's face when he noticed it missing. Templeton knew it would break his heart, but it was for a good cause and the new jacket would be so much better, and warmer, than the one Murdock currently owned. He'd put it next to the washer when he got home and pretend to find it there. Or he'd let Murdock find it. It was funny what one clung to; what became their security blanket. Templeton had found his security blanket with Murdock. Murdock's was that jacket. 

He had numerous other presents to get, but Thanksgiving was only a week away. Murdock was planning a big feast and Templeton wondered who was expected to eat it all. He made a note in his calendar to pick up a ham "and all the fixings" on Tuesday. Murdock agreed to cook if he did the shopping. He thought he was getting the easier end of the bargain, until he had to shop so close to the holiday. It was definitely a new experience and not one he wanted to repeat. Templeton had grumped and fussed, but honestly, hadn't minded so much, as he finally got to share the holiday with someone he loved. It was an experience he hadn't known for over thirty-five years. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd spent many a holiday with the A-Team, but he hadn't realized the depth of his feelings for a particular member of the Team until this holiday. 

The first week of December, they went out and got themselves a tree. Templeton never saw the need for one, as he wasn't used to celebrating, but Murdock insisted. They argued over what kind to get; Murdock wanted a live tree, while Templeton wanted a fake one. Templeton complained about needles on the floor and sticky sap ruining the carpet, but with gentle coaxing, Murdock convinced him that the real thing was what he wanted. When Murdock made him feel like that, nothing was too much to ask. He didn't give in all the time, but if it made Murdock truly happy, usually he relented. 

It took some maneuvering, but the tree was finally up in front of the living room window. Murdock wrestled with the lights while Templeton hooked all the ornaments they'd bought. Murdock had found this little shop on the outskirts of town that specialized in imports and handmade ornaments. They were reasonably priced and they filled the trunk with them. Templeton had balked at tinsel, though. Needles were enough mess on the floor, he argued. Murdock didn't fight too much about that and Templeton assumed he realized how much he was pushing. 

Then Murdock sprung the question. "Can we get lights for the outside? And a Santa, and a snowman, and a nativity?" 

"Absolutely not." His tone was final. "I'm not going to turn this house into a tacky suburban light-show." 

Murdock's lower lip went out in the pout and Templeton had to restrain himself from agreeing to whatever it was that Murdock was saying. "But Face, it'll be real pretty." 

He pictured flashing reindeer pulling a four foot high santa and his resolve strengthened. "No," Templeton stated firmly. The hook he was bending slipped and poked his finger. He yelped and stuck it in his mouth. 

"Are you okay?" Murdock asked, pulling Templeton's hand from his mouth and taking a look. 

"I'm fine. It's not even bleeding." He let out a breath. "I'm just...annoyed." 

Murdock let go of his hand and said softly, "I didn't mean to get you angry, Faceman." 

With all the teasing they did, it was easy to forget that his lover was very sensitive. Templeton cupped the back of Murdock's head and pulled him close for a deep, searching kiss. "I'm not mad at you, Murdock. I'm annoyed at myself. Tell you what. How about a compromise? We'll string up some lights outside. That'll give the house that holiday spirit while still maintaining some sense of dignity." 

Murdock slowly licked his lips. "Sounds like a good plan to me, muchacho." He started to unbutton Templeton's shirt. "What's say we start making some of that Christmas spirit right now?" 

"What about the tree?" he asked, not really caring when they got around to decorating it. 

"The tree can find its own Christmas spirit," Murdock murmured as he lowered Templeton to the floor and covered him with his body. 

~~~

Templeton became more nervous as Christmas Eve drew nearer. He hadn't heard from Hannibal, but B.A. wrote him back, letting him know that they would both be there on Christmas Day. He was worried about Hannibal. It wasn't like him not to keep in touch. But his worry was pushed aside as he had to pick up presents, wrap them and keep them hidden from Murdock. 

His days were filled with shopping, keeping Murdock happy and especially, work. As the holidays drew nearer, business picked up. Everyone wanted to get special ads out for Christmas and his agency was in high demand. Templeton found himself working late two or three nights a week after Thanksgiving and missing Murdock terribly. He didn't get home until seven or eight and Murdock was usually on the computer or watching TV. His dinner would be in the microwave, ready to be warmed. He found himself missing the simple things; being able to come home and make dinner for Murdock. Cuddling on the couch and watching the news. He was so tired the nights he worked late, that he usually just ate and went to bed. Murdock would crawl into bed and hold him, but he didn't feel like doing much more than kissing. His heart was willing, but his body wasn't. 

The weekend before Christmas was especially hectic. He'd worked most of Saturday and was even contemplating going in Sunday, until he saw Murdock's expression when he mentioned it. That was it. He'd tried to set a good example for his employees, being there when he expected them to work overtime. But this was too much. This was his and Murdock's first Christmas as a couple and he didn't want to work through it. He called the office and left a message that he would be in on Monday and he took Murdock out for a drive in the country on Sunday morning. That afternoon, they walked through downtown and picked up those last minute things they'd forgotten. When the sun went down, they drove around, admiring the decorations. They stopped at a small Mexican restaurant and had a late supper, then Templeton suggested they go home. 

He made love to Murdock, worshiping every inch of his body, relearning planes and angles, scars and ticklish spots until Murdock begged him to end his teasing. He entered Murdock slowly, trying to make this for him, straining with the effort to take it slow. But it had been too long and he was already close to the edge. He was determined to take Murdock with him, so with lips and teeth he assaulted Murdock's upper body, while his hand stroked and caressed his cock, and their climaxes happened so close to one another, Templeton couldn't tell where he ended and Murdock began. 

He fell into an exhausted sleep and for the first time in weeks, it was a pleasant one. 

~~~

Very early Christmas Day, the doorbell rang. Templeton groaned and rubbed at his face, attempting to peer at the clock. Six a.m. Who on earth would be waking him up at this ungodly hour? He glanced to his lover, but Murdock slept on, oblivious. He tied a robe around himself and shuffled into the living room. He peeked out the window and a familiar brown eye greeted him. Wide awake now, he unbolted the door and stepped outside. He glanced to the driveway, halfway expecting the familiar black and red van, though they had officially 'decommissioned' it over seven years ago. A minivan resided in his driveway instead, and a very large man stood on his porch. 

"I hear you was looking for me." 

Templeton's smile was almost painful, he was so happy. "You made it!" he exclaimed. He threw his arms wide and B.A. caught him up in a bone-crushing hug. When he was finally released, Templeton stepped back and glanced around. "Where's Hannibal?" 

"Good to see you too, Face," B.A. snarled. 

He rolled his eyes. "You know I didn't mean it like that. I've been worried about him. He never wrote me back." 

"He's been busy. He's in the back of the van." B.A. gave him the once over. "You're looking pretty good, for an old man." 

He smiled. "It's good to see you too, B.A." 

It was B.A.'s turn to look behind Templeton. "Where's the crazy fool?" he asked. 

Templeton's smile grew wider, if that was possible. Oh, was Murdock going to be surprised. "He's still asleep. I want to surprise him. Could you and Hannibal ring the bell in, oh, say fifteen minutes?" 

"Okay." He wrinkled his nose. "But I don't want Murdock kissing all over me." 

Templeton had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "Somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem." At B.A.'s worried look, he patted him on the arm. "Don't worry. You won't be the one Murdock's kissing. Give me fifteen minutes, okay?" 

B.A. eyed him warily. "Fine. We'll be ready." 

Templeton sneaked back inside and locked the door. He crawled back into bed and started to nuzzle at Murdock's neck. When Murdock started to make human sounds, he pretended to still be asleep. It wasn't hard; Murdock insisted on making homemade cutout cookies and the resulting mess had taken until 2 a.m. to clean up. He was tired, but he couldn't wait to see Murdock's face when his presents walked through the door. 

The doorbell rang, but Templeton didn't move. Murdock stirred next to him, rolling onto his back and mumbling something. The doorbell rang again and Murdock growled, "Face." He reached over and shook Templeton. "Face! Get the door." 

He groaned softly and burrowed deeper under the covers. "You get the door." 

"Face," Murdock whined, just as the doorbell rang a third time. When Templeton didn't answer, Murdock threw back the covers and stomped to the living room. Templeton slipped out of bed and watched Murdock through the half-open door. 

"Hold your horses, I'm coming," he grumbled. "Yeah?" he asked as he threw open the door. 

B.A. glared at him. "I'm looking for a crazy fool. You seen one?" 

Templeton walked into the living room, staying close to the wall so he could see Murdock's face. 

Confusion was rapidly being replaced by joy. "B.A.? How? Why? Yeehaw!" Murdock finally yelled and practically leapt onto B.A. 

The big man caught Murdock in a bear hug. Templeton could see the huge grin on B.A.'s face as Murdock twirled them around. He couldn't help but smile at the picture those two made. 

A voice startled him. "Lieutenant?" 

He whirled around and his eyes widened. Hannibal stood in the kitchen, complete with cigar clenched in his teeth. A smile bloomed on both their faces. 

"Hannibal?"

"In the flesh," his commanding officer announced. 

"Hannibal?" he repeated. He took the remaining steps until he could grab Hannibal in a hug. He got a back-pounding in return, then they broke apart. 

Hannibal squeezed his shoulders and asked, "How're you doing, kid?" 

"Great," Templeton answered without thought. His mind was whirling with questions. "Where have you been? Why didn't you write back? I was worried about you." 

Hannibal removed his cigar and jabbed it in the air. "No need to worry about me, Face. I was busy shaking some dirtbags out of some Redwoods in northern California. Wasn't near a computer. B.A. kept me up to date on your plans, though, and I gotta say..." 

"You love it when a plan comes together?" Templeton finished for him. 

"Nicely put, Lieutenant," Hannibal said as he grinned again. 

"Face! Face, get your lazy butt out of bed. You won't believe who's here!" Murdock bellowed. 

"That would be my cue." Templeton hesitated a second before joining Murdock and B.A. in the living room. 

Murdock bounded over to him and dragged him to where B.A. sat. "Face, you'll never believe it. You just won't." 

"What, that B.A. fits on our couch?" Templeton quipped and tossed a saucy grin toward B.A.

B.A. stood up and took a threatening step towards him, but Templeton could see that B.A. wasn't really upset. 

"No, that B.A.'s here! Just in time for..." Murdock's voice trailed off as he stared over Templeton's shoulder toward the kitchen. 

"Got anyplace for a slightly worn Santa to crash for the night?" Hannibal asked quietly. He jerked his thumb behind him. "I had to come in the back door; you guys don't have a chimney." 

Murdock stood stock-still in the middle of the living room. "Colonel?" 

"That would be me," Hannibal confirmed. His voice was gruff as he asked, "How are you doing, Murdock? This lug taking care of you?" 

"Hannibal." Murdock crossed the room and hugged Hannibal tightly. 

The slight apprehension Templeton had about Hannibal and B.A. accepting his and Murdock's new life together evaporated as he saw the sheer joy on Murdock's face. No matter what, it was worth it to see that look. "I think he likes his presents," Templeton murmured to himself. 

B.A. clapped him on the shoulder. "Thanks for inviting us out. We was wondering if we'd ever see you two again." 

Templeton turned to him, surprised. "I thought it was understood. You always have a place to stay with us." 

B.A.'s mouth turned down in a frown. "I don't like to intrude on folks. You know that." 

"That's why we have the email system set up. If you want to come visit, you email us first to let us know. It's a very simple process, B.A..." The rest of Templeton's teasing was cut off by Murdock's mouth and with a sound of pleasure, Templeton returned the kiss. Murdock's arms came around him, squeezing him tight. There was a world of emotion in that kiss and a promise of a lot more thanks to be shared later that night. When Murdock finally released him, he sighed happily. "See B.A.? I said you wouldn't be the one he kissed." 

"You two are both crazy," B.A. dismissed them. "You deserve each other." 

"Funny, that's just what I was thinking," Templeton murmured as he kissed Murdock lightly. Murdock's eyes were shining like a little kid and Templeton whispered, "Merry Christmas, Murdock." 

"Oh, Faceman, this is great. How'd you get them here? No, wait, don't tell me. Another trade secret. Well, this time I don't care. This is great. The past two years weren't the same without you to share the holidays with, but now we're all together and it's just like old times!" Murdock kissed him again. 

"Gentlemen, it's not polite to make out in front of your guests," Hannibal chided them softly. 

Murdock reluctantly released Templeton's mouth. Templeton laughed nervously. The stares from a few strangers in the movie theaters or when they were dining out he could ignore and chalk up to ignorance. With Hannibal and B.A., he wanted to make sure they understood and accepted them. So far, they hadn't given him any uncomfortable vibes and he relaxed. "Murdock's still a little excitable and this is Christmas morning, after all," he defended their actions. He kept his arms around Murdock and grinned over at Hannibal. "We're allowed a little sentimentality." 

"B.A., why don't we get the presents out of the van? It will give our two lovebirds time to change into something more respectable." Hannibal wagged his eyebrows. 

"Huh?" he and Murdock chorused as they looked down at their pajamas. 

"What's wrong with our outfits?" Murdock demanded. 

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," Hannibal said as he waved his cigar. "I just think you're a tad bit underdressed for the day." 

Templeton caught his meaning and flushed. Hannibal wanted to give them some time alone. "Come on, Murdock. Let's get dressed," he murmured. 

"Face, aww, Faceman," Murdock drawled as Templeton pulled him into the bedroom. 

Once the door was shut, he closed his mouth over Murdock's. Murdock offered a token protest and then melted into the kiss. When Templeton finally released him, he whispered, "I don't know how long they're staying and I don't know how comfortable I'll feel making love to you while they're here." 

"Sort of like having your father and mother in the next room?" Murdock guessed. He was breathing a little hard and his fingers toyed with the buttons on Templeton's shirt. 

"Exactly." Templeton was glad he and Murdock agreed on this. "And as much as I would love for you to thank me," he reached down and cupped Murdock through his pajamas, "I'll restrain myself for the time being." 

Murdock's eyes rolled closed as he hissed, "Face, if you don't let me go, I won't care if the Colonel and B.A. want to watch." He dove for Templeton's mouth once again and they stumbled their way to the bed. 

The sound of the front door banging closed and Hannibal's voice yelling, "Guys?" was just as effective as a bucket of cold water dumped over them. With one last kiss, Templeton and Murdock separated and got dressed. Templeton searched until he found the digital camera he'd borrowed from work. He'd forgotten about it in the excitement of Hannibal and B.A.'s arrival and he was sorry he'd missed recording their reactions. He wasn't going to miss the opening of the presents. 

"Guys, do we have to get a hose?" Hannibal called. 

Templeton opened the door and glared at him. "We were just on our way out," he said with as much dignity as he could muster. 

Murdock bounced around him, grabbing his arm as he went by. Templeton passed the camera to Hannibal before he dropped it. Murdock pulled him down next to the tree and rubbed his hands together. "You said we could open presents in the morning. It's morning. Let's get to it." 

"Still crazy," B.A. remarked as he shook his head. 

"I wouldn't want him any other way," Templeton sighed. He felt the 'loopy grin' start and an answering grin formed on Murdock's face. 

"Aww, Face, you say the sweetest things." 

"Hannibal!" B.A. growled. 

Hannibal shot him a stern glare. "Now B.A., we had more than one discussion about this. What Face and Murdock do in their own home is between them. Unless it gets too obscene for even my sensitive eyes, they're free to express themselves any way they want." 

B.A. glared at them with a scowl on his face. "I know, Hannibal. But I can't stand watching all this mushy stuff." 

"Sorry, B.A.. We're not used to company. We'll try to behave." Templeton caught Hannibal's skeptical frown and grinned. "I said we'd try." 

"C'mon, Face, I want you to open yours first." Murdock held out a large, flat box. 

Templeton shook it lightly and pretended to guess what was in it. "It's too big to be a bicycle. Maybe that new lawnmower?"

Murdock threatened, "Face, if you don't open that box, I'm taking it back." 

Templeton winked at Hannibal. "Geez, a guy can't even enjoy the anticipation of opening his own presents." 

"Face," Murdock whined. 

"Why don't you open one of yours? How about that one?" Templeton pointed to a square box near the front of the pile. Murdock dove for the present and Templeton finished unwrapping his. He pulled the lid off the plain box and stared at the deep blue cable knit sweater inside. The label was a good brand; a very good brand. Was this was Murdock was saving up for? He'd been secretive about Templeton's present for weeks, only saying that he needed to borrow the car to get it. He carefully pulled it from the box and held it up. "Murdock, it's gorgeous." 

Murdock was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Gorgeous sweater for a gorgeous man. Try it on." 

Templeton pulled it on and it fit nearly perfectly. 

"Matches your eyes," Murdock observed. 

"Does it now?" Templeton remarked as he leaned over and kissed Murdock lightly. He tapped at the box still unopened in Murdock's hand. "Your turn." 

Murdock ripped the paper off his box and extracted the KC Royals hat from inside. "Very cool, Faceman." 

"Check inside," Templeton suggested. 

Murdock frowned at the envelope, until he pulled two tickets out. "Season passes? You got us season passes to the Royals games?" 

"Yep. Let's hope they start playing better with us there to cheer them on," Templeton said. 

"Hey fellas, don't forget that we brought in half a van full of presents for you, too." Hannibal pointed with his cigar. "Try that one first." 

B.A. crossed his arms and smirked and Hannibal leaned back on the couch and looked smug. Templeton's stomach fluttered nervously, but Murdock was already tearing into the box. 

"Sheets?" Murdock questioned. 

"Sheets?" Templeton echoed as he took a look. Yep, sheets. A sea green color, king size. Hannibal knew him well. 

"Sheets," Hannibal confirmed with a grin. 

Templeton cleared his throat and placed the sheets behind him. "Thanks so much, Hannibal," he said dryly. 

Murdock was searching beneath the tree again. "Come on, Faceman. We've got a lot more to get through." They dug deep into the pile, Templeton opening two more sheet sets from Hannibal and Murdock three sets. 

Templeton felt a blush to the roots of his hair. "Hannibal, how many sets of sheets did you buy?" he asked faintly. 

"Oh, about a dozen," Hannibal replied perkily. "Consider it a combined housewarming, congratulations, Christmas and birthday present." 

"Hannibal, that's so sweet," Murdock said. 

"Hannibal," Templeton warned. 

The Colonel just shrugged. "Just trying to be practical." 

To hide his embarrassment, Templeton supervised the passing out of the rest of the presents. He reached for a present while pointing to another. "Why don't you give that one to Hannibal, Murdock? This is for B.A." 

Murdock reached behind the tree and retrieved the gift Templeton was pointing at. "We got them presents?" 

"I knew they were coming," Templeton explained. "They had to have something to open." 

B.A. exclaimed over his new tool set and Hannibal sniffed the box of imported cigars appreciatively. 

"Ahh, a man who knows my own heart," Hannibal sighed. 

"I figured you'd like them," Templeton said, though he was distracted by Murdock's opening of his jacket. The tailor had done a beautiful job of matching the design and the type of leather. It looked just like Murdock's. 

"Hey, Murdock, it's about time you got a new jacket," B.A. announced as he caught sight of the leather. 

Murdock held it up and turned it around, appraising it from every angle. 

"It's almost identical," Hannibal commented. "Bet that took some doing." 

"Yeah," Templeton answered. He was too nervous waiting for Murdock's reaction. Would he think he was trying to replace his old jacket? Would he know why he got Murdock a new one? 

Murdock slipped it on and ran his hands down the front reverently. He locked gazes with Templeton and tears shone in his eyes. "It's perfect," he murmured as he crawled forward to kiss him. 

The scent of new leather assaulted his senses, mixed with the spice of his lover and Templeton moaned lightly. "I'm glad you like it," he whispered. 

Murdock touched the jacket again. "I didn't want to get rid of my old one. I was getting scared that I'd have to toss it, 'cause it was getting pretty ratty. And now here I have a new one, just like the old one." 

"You sure you like it?" Templeton asked. "I didn't want to replace your old one, but I knew how much it meant to you." 

Murdock kissed him again, not letting him go until he protested softly. "I like it." 

He laughed breathlessly. "Okay. You like it." 

By mid-morning, the living room was piled high with wrapping paper and presents were stacked along the wall. Murdock and B.A. were pouring over the instructions to the remote control airplane B.A. had given Murdock and Hannibal was preparing his special omelets in the kitchen. 

Templeton was stuffing the wrapping paper into a trashbag when Murdock announced, "Face, there's one more present." 

"There is?" He checked under the tree, but didn't see anything still wrapped. 

"Yeah, there is." Murdock clasped his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. 

"Where are we going?" Templeton questioned. 

Murdock unlocked the garage door and clicked on the lights. "Merry Christmas, Face." 

Templeton stared at the same Saturn he drove to Kansas City in and wondered what Murdock had done. 

Murdock was grinning. "I had it detailed for you, Face. Inside and out, it's as pretty as the day you bought it. Better." 

"You had my car detailed?" He mentally ran up the cost of a complete auto detailing and his eyes widened. "Murdock, it's too much! I mean..." He ran his hand along the hood of the car. "That's why you needed the car yesterday?" 

"Yep. I had to make special arrangements to do it the day before Christmas, too. Set it up weeks ago." Murdock's arms came around him from behind. 

He stared at the car in shock. "I don't know what to say." 

"Now you know how I felt when I saw B.A. and Hannibal," Murdock murmured in his ear. 

"But you spent so much money..." he protested lightly. 

Murdock's arms tightened around him. "Hey, Faceman, you brought my family back together. That's worth more than all the money in the world." 

Templeton turned in Murdock's arms and kissed him. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'll gladly do it again." 

"Ditto, Faceman," Murdock murmured. 

"Have I told you I love you yet today?" Templeton asked between kisses. 

"Come to think of it, no, you haven't," Murdock answered. 

"Consider yourself told," Templeton grinned. 

The sound of a throat clearing drew their attention. Hannibal stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. "If you two are done spreading Christmas cheer, breakfast is served. You better hurry; B.A.'s already digging in." 

"No fair!" Murdock wailed as he dashed toward the kitchen. 

Templeton just sighed and trailed after him. 

After stuffing themselves, B.A. and Murdock retreated to the living room to work on the airplane, while Templeton assisted Hannibal in cleaning up the kitchen. 

Hannibal pitched his voice low over the sound of the water running. "Face, I wanted to talk to you about Murdock." 

His hand tightened around the dish he was drying. "Oh?" 

Templeton saw only concern shining from Hannibal's eyes. "How's he doing, really?" 

He relaxed. "He's good. He's had a job for a couple of months and it seems to be going well. Things are slow now because of the cold weather, but he's one of the crazies – no pun intended – who don't mind riding a bike in winter." 

Hannibal paused with a dish hovering over the sink. "Did you say riding a bike?" 

Templeton waved his dishrag. "Oh, yeah, Murdock makes deliveries downtown for the businesses. He got the job about a week after we..." his voice trailed off as he remembered just when Murdock announced he had a new job. 

"Consummated your relationship?" Hannibal guessed. 

Templeton just glared at the Colonel, refusing to answer. 

The grin on Hannibal's face said he didn't have to. "I'm surprised he didn't say anything to me about it," he commented. "Or you, for that matter." 

Templeton felt like he'd been chastised. "We're sorry about that. Things have been...complicated." 

Hannibal's brow creased as he frowned. "Something wrong?" 

He shrugged. "I made some bad choices and some mistakes. It was pretty rough going for awhile." 

Hannibal handed him a plate as he asked, "Who was the woman?" 

Templeton nearly dropped the plate. "Excuse me?" He could feel his face getting hot. 

Hannibal fixed him with a shrewd gaze. "I know you, Face. There had to be a woman." 

Templeton set the plate down with a loud thunk. "There was a woman before. Not after. Murdock and I worked things out." 

Hannibal wiped his hands dry on a towel and glanced to the living room. Murdock and B.A. were still engrossed in the airplane. "We're going to check out Face's car," he called to them. 

B.A. waved to let Hannibal know he heard him. Murdock didn't even look up. 

"Come on, Lieutenant," Hannibal instructed as he tossed Templeton a jacket. "I think it's time you and I had a little chat." 

Swallowing hard, Templeton followed Hannibal to the garage. "Hannibal, before you say anything..."

Hannibal held up his hand. "I don't want you to feel like you have to defend yourself. I just want to talk." 

"Okay." He pulled himself onto the trunk of the car and wrapped his arms around himself. It was chilly in the garage. 

Hannibal lit up a cigar. "Now, Murdock has been very closed-mouthed about your relationship. So have you." 

"It's...complicated," Templeton hedged. 

The colonel blew a puff of smoke into the air. "All relationships are complicated, Face. What I want to know is, why is yours?" 

He really didn't want to relive this, but he'd never talked to anyone about it. And he trusted Hannibal with his life. Where on Earth to begin...at the beginning, he supposed. "I was seeing someone for almost a year. We were serious. Very serious. I -- I bought a ring." Even now, his voice held a note of incredulity to it. "The night I bought it, I started having odd dreams. I contacted Murdock and he came out here. That's when I realized..." He trailed off, unable to voice what was in his heart. 

Hannibal's voice was soft. "You don't have to get into details, Face. Just say what you're comfortable with." 

Templeton shook his head. "No, I want to tell you. Our problems started because I couldn't say what I felt. I was questioning my idea to get married and I didn't know why. When I saw Murdock again, I knew something had changed. I knew I loved him." He laughed lightly. "You have no idea how long it took me to say that. To admit that. I had to overcome a lot of obstacles. A lot of ideas I had in my head about what I wanted. Beth – that's her name – had a daughter. She was great. Beth was great. I had a hard time letting them go. I almost lost Murdock because of them." 

Hannibal's hand rested on his shoulder. "I don't think you'd ever lose Murdock, kid. He's had it bad for you for a long time." 

He raised his eyebrows in stunned shock. "You knew?" 

A touch of hardness settled in Hannibal's eyes. "Face, I saw his expression back in LA, after you announced you were leaving. I knew something major had happened between you two and I knew it wasn't good. You left that house without saying good-bye to him." 

Templeton couldn't hold the colonel's gaze. Remembered shame colored his cheeks. "I know. I was...very confused back then." 

"Are you confused now?" Hannibal asked. 

Templeton met his eyes steadily. "Nope," he said softly. "I have what I want." 

Hannibal countered just as softly, "You seem very sure of that." 

"I am. Hannibal, do you understand what I've given up? The wife, the kids, the dream I set out to find; they're all gone." 

"I don't think you gave up your dream at all. I think you just realized that the dream comes in many forms." 

"Maybe." He started to sink into a familiar mood, one he wasn't very proud of. He shouldn't feel regret at giving up Beth and Maria. They were in his past. They weren't right for him. That life wasn't right for him. This one was. The life he had with Murdock. 

"You two seem happy together," Hannibal prodded lightly. 

He smiled wanly at Hannibal, silently thanking him for not letting him sink too far. "We are. I am. He's frustrating sometimes, but that's nothing new. I just have better ways of shutting him up now." He smiled fondly as his mind replayed several scenarios. 

"I bet the feelings are mutual," Hannibal replied with a grin. 

"Hannibal," Templeton warned. "What we do in the privacy of our own home is nobody's business but our own." 

"Oh, I agree completely. That reminds me, do you mind if we stay over New Year's?" 

His immediate answer was "Absolutely not!" But that wouldn't be fair, considering they drove all the way out there just to see them. "Ah, no, no, that's fine. Murdock's missed you." 

"What about you?" 

"Honestly?" At Hannibal's nod, he continued, "When I first got here, I wanted nothing more than to forget my previous life existed. But my subconscious wouldn't let me. When it finally won out, I realized how much I was leaving behind. You guys are my family. I couldn't turn my back on family." 

"But you never write, you never call," Hannibal lamented like a father whose children went off to college, never to be heard from again. 

Getting into the spirit of things, Templeton protested, "Hey, I have a business to run. I have a..." he hesitated a brief second, "lover, to take care of. This house doesn't run itself, you know." 

Hannibal waved his cigar in the air. "I'm not arguing with you, Face. An email now and again, letting me know how you're doing, would be nice. That's all I'm saying." 

Templeton smiled at him. "I think we can manage that. And you could have kept me up to date on your life, Colonel. I had to hear from B.A. that you were coming." 

Hannibal studied the floor for a moment, then declared softly, "You know, I always thought you two would be good for each other." 

Templeton didn't miss that Hannibal ignored his challenge. Obviously, something had happened and he didn't want to talk about it. He would let it go for now. "You did?" he prompted. 

"He centers you and you temper him. You're a good focus for each other." He returned the cigar to his mouth. "I know you tolerated Murdock's crazier times better than B.A. did. You even played to his delusions when he needed you to." 

"B.A. never had any patience with him, even though he'd move heaven and Earth for a child," Templeton replied, surprised at the force of his feelings. He hadn't thought of B.A.'s treatment of Murdock in a long time. All the remembered insults, the fights, the hurt feelings. Templeton sometimes thought he was the only one who noticed that Murdock suffered after one of his really down and dirty fights with B.A.

"Easy, Lieutenant," Hannibal urged. 

"It's true," Templeton snapped. "You saw it, just as much as I did. Yes, Murdock had his bad days, but didn't we all? He just needed some support; someone to listen to him." 

"You did that and more, kimosabe." 

Murdock's voice startled Templeton. He glanced up and saw Murdock and B.A. standing in the doorway. B.A. looked ready to throttle him. But Murdock...he walked right up to Templeton, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him for all he was worth. Templeton lost himself in Murdock for a moment, then he remembered their audience. 

"Mm, Murdock. Murdock, we're being watched," he hissed. 

"Don't care," Murdock murmured. 

"Murdock!" he laughed a protest. He slid off the car and wrapped his jacket around himself tighter. 

B.A. shook his head. "You've been hanging around Murdock too much. You're just as crazy as he is." 

That was the phrase that caused Murdock the most pain: crazy. He'd been released from the VA for over ten years, yet still B.A. ribbed him about it. Well, not today. Templeton's eyes narrowed as he walked up to B.A. and announced, "While you are in our home, you will refrain from calling anyone crazy, or a fool, or any variation thereof. Is that understood?" 

B.A. glared down at him. "What?" 

"You heard me." He sensed Murdock behind him, then felt Murdock's hand on his shoulder. 

"What he said, you big, ugly, mudsucker." 

B.A. took a menacing step forward, but Templeton glared up at him, even though it put a strain on his neck. Standing at the top of the stairs, B.A. was a good two heads taller than him. "Did I not make myself clear?" he barked. 

"Sergeant!" Hannibal's voice cut through the tension, drawing everyone's attention. "I believe Face asked you to behave yourself in his home. I suggest you do just that." 

"But Hannibal..."

"No, B.A. We're guests in their home and we should abide by their wishes." 

B.A. snarled, "I think you've all gone soft in the head."

"Love makes us do crazy things, B.A.," Templeton said. 

"And you'd know that if you could get anyone to love that ugly mug," Murdock taunted. 

"Hey fo–Murdock," he corrected himself with a glance to Templeton. 

Hannibal looked like he was about to step in again, but Templeton turned to Murdock and placed his hand on the back of Murdock's neck. 

"Murdock, this name calling goes both ways. If B.A. stops, then you have to stop, too." 

Murdock started to pout. "Aww, Faceman, I was just funning him." 

"I know you were, but if you want him to stop calling you a crazy fool, then you have to make compromises, too. Okay?" 

"All right," Murdock relented, to B.A.'s shock. "I'm sorry, big guy." 

"I'm sorry, too," B.A. answered him. He shook his head in wonder. "Things sure have changed with you two," he observed. 

"Oh, I don't know," Hannibal mused out loud. "They seem pretty normal to me." 

Templeton grinned over at him. He felt Murdock's arms slip around his shoulders and leaned into the touch. "So, was you talking about us the whole time out here?" Murdock murmured in his ear. 

"Mostly, yes." He relayed Hannibal's lament. "It seems we haven't kept Hannibal or B.A. up to date on our activities." 

Murdock sent the Colonel a sly grin. "Why Hannibal, I didn't know you were into that sort of thing." 

"Have no fear, Captain. I just wanted to make sure things were okay between you." 

"They are." 

"Enough. Hannibal, I don't mind a lot of things, but this is too much." B.A. retreated into the house with a disgusted noise. 

"Maybe we won't stay through New Year's," Hannibal suggested as he stared after B.A. 

"Aww, no, Colonel, you have to stay. Face and I'll be good. Scout's honor." Murdock held up his hand in the Boy Scout pledge. 

Templeton met Hannibal's eyes and winked. Then he turned to Murdock with a disappointed expression. "I don't know, Murdock. I was looking forward to celebrating our first New Year's together. Alone." 

Murdock snaked his arms around Templeton and pulled him close. "Faceman, you can't throw our friends out in the cold, with nowhere to go. Where will they rest their weary heads?" He leaned forward to kiss Templeton's neck. 

Templeton groaned softly, trying to keep his mind on the teasing he was attempting. "There are some very nice hotels downtown." 

Murdock's voice dropped to a husky rasp as his hands slid down Templeton's back. "I'll make it worth your while," he muttered as he coaxed his lover's body closer. 

"Deal," Templeton whimpered as Murdock bent to devour his mouth. 

Hannibal's voice drifted to them. "Okay guys, B.A.'s gone. Guys?" 

Murdock's lips left his temporarily. 

"Sorry, Hannibal," Murdock muttered. "But Faceman tastes so good..." With a sigh, he returned to Templeton's mouth. 

"Murdock. Captain. Lieutenant!" Hannibal snapped. "Pull yourself together." 

With great reluctance, Murdock released Templeton. "I'm sorry, Colonel. I got carried away." 

"Yeah, sorry, Hannibal," Templeton chimed in. He took a step away from Murdock, hoping some distance would help. He licked his lips and tried not to look at his lover. 

"That's all right. Just make sure that if you get 'carried away' again, it's in the privacy of your own bedroom." 

Templeton blushed. "Ah, right, Hannibal. Are you sure you want to stay?" he asked, a hint of hope creeping into his voice. 

"It's just a week, Face," Hannibal explained with mild exasperation. "Surely you can restrain yourself that long?" 

"A week, huh?" Templeton sighed. His glance slid to Murdock's and he was pretty sure his face had the same expression. Resignation. 

"We can do it, Faceman," Murdock proclaimed. "Or rather, we can't do it." 

"Murdock," Templeton groaned. 

Hannibal threw his arms around them both. "You two deserve each other. Come on, we've got to beat B.A. to the Christmas specials that are undoubtedly on. I haven't seen the Grinch yet this year." 

Murdock ran ahead to wrestle the remote away from B.A., leaving Templeton and Hannibal to follow. 

"He's got a lot of energy." 

"Yeah," Templeton agreed. 

"Stay with me, Lieutenant," Hannibal warned. 

"I'm here, I'm here. It's just...I can't get enough of him. I've never experienced anything like this before." 

Hannibal hugged him a bit closer. "I know how you feel, kid." 

Templeton was surprised. "You do?" 

"Sure. You don't think I've been celibate all these years, do you? Me and Maggie have made some fine medicine." 

"You and Maggie? You're still seeing her?" 

"Yeah. Once we escaped Stockwell, I made a beeline for her place. Stayed there a good couple of months. Very good." 

"I never knew." 

"Of course you didn't. A gentlemen never kisses and tells." 

"Oh, really?" 

"Well, not in great detail." 

Murdock's outraged voice echoed through the house. "Face! Make B.A. give me the remote. He wants to watch some stupid football game!" 

Templeton shot a grin at Hannibal. "Ah, the sweet, docile tones of my lover beckon me." 

"We'd better save them from each other. We still have a week to go." 

Templeton groaned. When they got to the living room, B.A. was holding the remote high above his head and Murdock was jumping, trying to reach it. 

"You're not turning off football for some cartoon," B.A. argued. 

"It's a classic cartoon," Murdock insisted. "That makes all the difference." 

"You want me to handle this?" Hannibal asked. 

"Oh, no, please. Let me," Templeton staved him off. With a shrug of his shoulders, he stalked over to B.A. and grabbed the remote. 

"Hey, sucker!" 

"If you don't mind a 19" TV, there's one in the guest room. It'll have your precious football game on." 

B.A. surveyed the entertainment system. "But you've got a nice setup in here, Face. I want to watch the game in here." 

Templeton cross his arms. "Fine. We'll put it to a vote. Those in favor of the game?" 

B.A. raised his hand and glared over at Hannibal, willing him to side with him. 

"Sorry, B.A.. I was actually looking forward to seeing the Grinch today." 

"C'mon, Face. It's going to be a great game," B.A. pleaded. 

Templeton turned to his lover. "Murdock, what time is the Grinch on?" 

Murdock flipped through the TV guide. "It's on at two and again at seven." 

Templeton checked his watch. "All right. It's noon now. You can watch the game in here until two, then if it's still on, you can go into the bedroom. How's that?" 

"All right," B.A. grumbled. 

Templeton handed him the remote back with a stern glare. "I expect to be handed that back with no trouble." 

"Yeah, okay," B.A. relented as he flipped the game back on. 

"Now that we have big and surly calmed down, what do we do?" Murdock asked. He had his arms crossed and a glum expression on his face. 

Templeton slipped his arm around him. "Why, we can sit in the kitchen and eat those wonderful cookies you made last night. And we can talk to Hannibal. He wants to know what you've been doing since you moved out here." 

That perked Murdock up. "Really?" he asked, looking between Templeton and Hannibal.

Hannibal grinned around his cigar. "Of course, Murdock. You don't think I'd let my favorite Captain move halfway across the country without some worry?" 

Templeton squeezed his lover's shoulder. "Come on. You get the milk and I'll get the cookies." 

Murdock headed for the kitchen, but Hannibal held Face back. 

"Face, I'm really impressed with the way you're handling things." 

He turned to Hannibal in surprise. "You are?" 

"Sure. I remember when you couldn't stand up to B.A.'s temper tantrums. I've watched you shoot him down twice in the space of an hour." 

He shrugged self-consciously. "Yeah, well, getting older does funny things to you." 

Hannibal's expression was thoughtful. "No, it's more than that. You really love him, don't you?" 

"So much it hurts," Templeton admitted as he watched Murdock get down three glasses. "I'll do anything for him." 

"Be careful, Lieutenant," Hannibal cautioned. "That kind of devotion can become an obsession." 

Templeton grinned. "Too late." 

Hannibal noted, "It's easy to hurt him." 

A stab of pain pierced his heart as he recalled all the times he'd hurt Murdock. "I know. I've already learned that lesson. I don't intend to make that mistake again." 

Hannibal started to protest, but Templeton cut him off. "Look, Hannibal. You don't understand what we've gone through. You don't know how I feel. You don't know how much I've hurt him and how much I still have to make up to him. But I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying. And no one, not even you, is going to tell me its wrong." 

"I didn't say it was wrong. I just said you should be careful. It's easy to lose yourself in another person when you're that deeply in love." 

"As easy as anything," Templeton agreed as he caught Murdock's eye. 

"Hey, loverboy," Murdock drawled as he walked over and curled his fingers around Templeton's. "You wanna try my cookies?" 

Templeton burst out laughing. "I'll sample your cookies any day, Murdock." He managed to restrain himself from touching Murdock any further and slid into a seat. Murdock sat close enough to touch him and Hannibal sat across from them. 

Hannibal picked up a cookie and turned it slowly. "Interesting design. Your own creation?" he asked Murdock. 

"Yep," he declared proudly. "That there is a full moon, highlighting the manger. And this," he picked up another odd shape, "Is all the animals huddled together, waiting the birth of baby Jesus." 

"Nice, Murdock," Hannibal commented as he took a bite. "Good, too." 

"Thanks, Colonel. I would have made more, if I'd'a known you were coming." 

"That would have taken the surprise out of it," Templeton reminded him. 

"I know that, Face. I'm just saying, is all." 

They devoured half the plate of cookies while they traded stories, letting the time slip by. Hannibal polished off one last cookie and locked gazes with Templeton. His expression was serious and Templeton's stomach fluttered nervously. 

"Face, can I talk to Murdock alone for a bit?" 

"Sure." He got up and went into the living room, oblivious to B.A.'s shouts at the TV. What could Hannibal want to talk to Murdock about that couldn't be said in front of him? Didn't he trust him? Minutes ticked by and he continued to pace. 

"No, Hannibal. Absolutely not." Murdock stormed out of the kitchen, made an immediate turn to the bedroom and slammed the door. Hannibal started to follow, but Templeton stepped in front of him. 

"What did you say to him?" he demanded. 

Hannibal glanced to the door, then focused on Templeton. "The same thing I said to you. I think you're moving too fast. You just came off a long relationship. You were going to marry that woman, Face. And within a month, you're asking Murdock to move in." 

B.A.'s surprised voice cut in. "You were going to get married?" 

Templeton glared first at B.A., then at Hannibal. "So what? Murdock's loved me for a long time and once I was aware of my feelings, they couldn't be stopped." 

"Face, I'm afraid this is too much for him. He's overwhelmed." 

Templeton threw his arms wide in anger. "So am I! That's what being in love is about." 

Hannibal lowered his voice. "Face, he's not like you and me. He's got a delicate system."

Templeton's eyes narrowed as he caught the full meaning of Hannibal's words. "You're saying he's crazy. You don't think he's capable of knowing his own feelings." 

"I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that he's very sensitive and I was trying to tell him that he didn't have to sacrifice anything to make you happy." 

"What?" He injected as much disbelief as he could into that one word. What was this about sacrifice and being happy? Hannibal didn't know a thing about their relationship. He didn't know and he didn't understand. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye. B.A. was standing now, staring at the both of them in confusion. His attention was drawn back to Hannibal as his gaze hardened. 

Hannibal's voice was accusing. "He gave up his life in LA to move here to be with you." 

"After I offered to give up my life here to move to LA to be with him," Templeton informed him. "This wasn't a one-sided decision. We made it together. We wanted to be together and I didn't care where. I still don't. If he wanted to move tomorrow, I'd make the arrangements myself." 

"But he chose to stay here," Hannibal argued. "He was so desperate for your love, that he was willing to give up everything for you." 

"Just like I was willing to give up everything for him," Templeton snapped. "Hannibal, you seem to be missing a vital part of this equation. I love him. He loves me. We've both made sacrifices to be together. We haven't had much trouble around here. Of all the places I expected trouble, I never expected it from you. And in my own home, no less." 

The bedroom door banged open and a very irate, red-eyed Murdock stormed through. "Stop it! Just stop it! I won't have the two of you fighting." 

Hannibal's voice was soothing. "Murdock..."

"No, Colonel. This is my house too and you'll hear me out." Murdock took a shaky breath and looked Hannibal in the eye. "I don't know who hurt you, but I can tell you're hurting real bad. That's no reason to take it out on Face and me. We're happy. We're where we want to be. We're with who we want to be with. We've had our rough patches, but being in love means that 'I'm sorry' is an acceptable form of forgiveness." 

"Hannibal." B.A.'s voice was pitched soft, startling both Templeton and Murdock. "Hannibal, man, listen to them. Don't let what happened to you mess up what they've got. They ain't you and Maggie." 

Hannibal looked stricken, like he'd been punched. "I-" he stuttered. His gaze flicked between Templeton and Murdock, sorrow shining from his eyes. Without another word, he retreated to the kitchen.

With worried glances at each other, Templeton and Murdock followed. 

"Hannibal, what's going on?" Templeton asked. "What's this about Maggie?" 

Hannibal suddenly looked all his sixty-seven years. He looked haggard and drawn and about to collapse on himself. "I asked her to marry me. She turned me down." 

"I'm sorry, Hannibal," Templeton murmured as he put his arm around the Colonel. 

Murdock looked crestfallen. "I'm sorry, too, Colonel. I didn't mean to say all those nasty things." 

Hannibal managed a smile, albeit a shaky one. "Yes, you did. Don't back down from an argument, Murdock. Especially with this one." He jerked his head in Templeton's direction. 

Murdock wouldn't let it drop. "But I was wrong, Colonel. I shouldn't have come out with guns blazing. I just didn't know." 

Templeton studied his commanding officer. All of Hannibal's glib remarks since arriving were overly cheerful, as if he were trying to force himself to be happy. Or project the image that he was. Hannibal was a master of disguise and that included disguising his feelings. "Why'd she turn you down?" he asked quietly. In all the times he imagined himself asking Beth to marry him, he never once considered that she might refuse him. It put a whole other perspective on his memories. 

Hannibal shrugged. "Lots of reasons. We have great fun together, but we never talked permanent arrangements. I think she knew I wasn't the stay at home type. That I wouldn't be happy if I tried to settle down and never be on the jazz again. What she said was, that she didn't want to watch me go off on a job and wonder if I wasn't coming home. I can't say I blame her." 

Murdock said, "I think she's right. The jazz is in your blood. It's who you are. That's what made you such a great planner." 

"Thanks, Murdock." 

Hannibal didn't look any better. Templeton was busy thinking how to cheer him up, when Murdock announced, "I've got something for you, Colonel." He got up and went into the bedroom. 

Templeton realized what he was getting and smiled reassuringly at Hannibal. "Don't worry, it won't pee on the carpet." 

"That's a relief." 

"Hannibal, why'd you ask Maggie to marry you?" he asked once they were alone. "Was it because of what I said?" 

"You mean back then?" Templeton nodded. Hannibal chewed thoughtfully on his cigar. "Probably a little. I feel bad for stringing her along all these years. She deserves better. She deserves a stable, secure life." 

Hearing those words echoed back at him, caused Templeton's eyes to fill with tears. "Trust me, Hannibal, when I tell you that Maggie chose to be with you because she loves you. If she wanted to have the stable, secure life, she'd have it. She'd rather have you, in any way she can get you. And I'm willing to bet that she turned you down for you." At Hannibal's puzzled look, he elaborated. "She knew you'd be miserable if you were forced into a traditional married life. She loves you because of who you are. She knew you'd change if you got married and wouldn't be the person she fell in love with. I think that says a lot about her and you. She made the sacrifice of not marrying you, to save who you are; the man she fell in love with. Accept what she's willing to give you. Don't push for something that neither of you are willing to give." 

Hannibal laughed softly and wiped at his eyes. "Damn, kid. When'd you get so smart?" 

His lips twitched in a smile. "Twenty five years of a Colonel's advice finally sank in." 

Murdock returned and gave them both a strange glance. "What happened while I was gone? Everything okay?" 

"I think they will be," Hannibal said. "You've got a smart fella here, Murdock." 

Murdock beamed with pride and love. "I know." He sat down and slid a wallet-sized picture to Hannibal. 

Templeton smiled fondly as he remembered their sitting. The photographer didn't know what to make of Murdock. She rolled her eyes and tried to order him to sit still. It wasn't until Templeton physically pulled Murdock onto his lap that he stopped moving. The rest of the session went surprisingly well, considering neither of them took it very seriously. 

He leaned forward. "Which one did you decide on?" he asked as he caught a glimpse of the pose. Murdock had his arms around his shoulders from behind and Templeton was laughing. There was a mischievous twinkle in Murdock's eye, which was almost obscured by the Santa hat he proudly wore. Templeton's own hat was tipped at a crazy angle and one hand was trying to keep in balanced on his head. It was one of his favorites. 

"This is a good picture," Hannibal commented. He removed his wallet and stuck it inside. 

"We wanted you to have it, so you'd always have us with you and you wouldn't miss us so much," Murdock explained quietly. 

"I appreciate that," Hannibal responded, though his voice was thick with emotion. "But a phone call or email works just as well." 

"Message received, Colonel," Murdock noted with a mock-salute. 

To lighten the mood, Templeton asked Hannibal about his exploits in bringing the scum of the underworld to justice. Hannibal looked grateful for the distraction and they spent the next few minutes shooting the bull. B.A. joined them a little before two, ranting about how the Redskins lost again. 

"Cartoon time!" Murdock yelled as he skipped into the living room. 

"It really is an act most of the time," Templeton explained at Hannibal's raised eyebrows. "He knows he has an audience and he's playing to you." 

"It's a darn fine performance," Hannibal commented. 

"I'm lucky," Templeton said quietly. "I get to see the real Murdock." 

"I think you're the crazy..." B.A. stopped himself from finishing his statement. He turned to stare at Murdock. "I wish I could see that side of him," he admitted. "I don't like him pretending to be crazy all the time. It's not right." 

"I know, but he's so used to acting that way, he can't break the habit. He is trying, though." Templeton sighed. "I wish you could see him some days. It's like he's a whole other person. In a good way," he added as he saw B.A.'s expression. 

"It's good you got through to him," Hannibal noted as he stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me gentlemen, there's a mean, nasty Grinch with my name on it in the living room." 

B.A. stared at him in horror. "Hannibal, you're not serious about watching no cartoon." 

Hannibal removed his cigar. "B.A., it's a classic." He turned and marched in to join Murdock on the couch. 

"I think the air out here is affecting all of you," B.A. groused. 

Templeton threw his arm around the larger man. "Come on, B.A. Where's your holiday spirit? What about forgiveness and spreading cheer and all that other stuff?" He leaned in closer. "What about those kids, huh? Did you get to the orphanage?" 

A soft smile curved B.A.'s lips. "Yeah. The kids loved the presents. The caretakers were real grateful, too. Thanks for suggesting it, man." 

"You're welcome," Templeton said. "I figured you were still supplying presents to orphanages and didn't want you to feel bad because I asked you out here." He patted B.A.'s chest. "So what do you say? Just one cartoon to make an old friend happy? Please?" 

"All right," he relented. He jabbed a finger into Templeton's chest. "But don't be expecting me to like it." 

Templeton held his hands up in surrender. "I'm just asking you to indulge Murdock and the Colonel. No one said anything about liking anything." 

"Okay then. As long as that's understood." 

Templeton watched B.A. walk into the living room with a smirk on his face. B.A. was such a softie underneath. He just didn't want anyone to know. 

After the Grinch went off, Murdock flipped to The Bells of St. Mary's and then another movie, until even Hannibal declared a time out. 

"I don't know about you guys, but after a marathon like that, I get the munchies." 

"Munchies?" Templeton asked as he raised his eyebrows. 

"Yes, Lieutenant. A requirement of sustenance. Food, if you will. Did you by any chance prepare us a meal?" 

"I do believe Murdock purchased something edible," Templeton mused. "I'll go see what I can rustle up." 

"Don't be joking around, Peck," B.A. growled. "I'm getting hungry." 

"Patience," Templeton chided him. "One must bask in the art of culinary delights. These things cannot be rushed." 

B.A. just shook his head. "He has been hanging around Murdock too long." 

"Don't worry, big guy. It's only contagious by physical contact," Murdock announced gleefully as he retreated to the kitchen to help Templeton. 

"Murdock," B.A. growled after him. "You better stay in that kitchen if you know what's good for you." 

Templeton grinned as he felt Murdock's arms slip around his waist. "He better stay out unless he wants an eyeful," he mused as he leaned back against his lover. "Whatever it is you're doing, don't stop," he murmured. Murdock was pressed up against him, hands splayed across his chest, his mouth fastened to an earlobe. His eyes closed as Murdock's mouth shifted to the spot just behind his ear and his tongue flicked out. His hands gripped the edge of the counter. "Murdock, if you don't stop, I won't be responsible for my actions," he rasped. 

"I'll be responsible for both of us," Murdock rumbled in his ear. "I miss your taste, Face. I'm not used to going a whole day without being with you." 

"I know," he sighed. "But we promised Hannibal we'd try to behave ourselves." As much as it pained him, he held Murdock's hands away from his body and turned around. "That means no sex on the table before dinner." 

"How about afterwards?" Murdock suggested, but Templeton could tell he wasn't serious. At least, he hoped he wasn't. 

"Come on, Murdock. Help me get dinner started. Maybe we can figure out something in the meantime." He gave his lover a quick kiss and turned his attentions to getting things together. 

Murdock was quiet throughout dinner and Templeton started to worry. Afterwards, he asked Hannibal and B.A. if they minded cleaning up while he had a talk with Murdock. They agreed and he steered Murdock into their bedroom.

"Face? What's going on?"

Templeton shut the door. "Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing. You hardly said two words during dinner. Is something wrong?" 

Murdock folded his arms across his chest and wouldn't meet his eyes. "No." 

Templeton sighed. "Murdock, you're a lousy liar. What's bugging you?" 

Murdock started to pace, his hands gesturing with his words. "It's Hannibal and B.A. Well, not really. It's you and me. We've barely seen each other except for this week. I've missed you."

Templeton followed his movements with troubled eyes. "I've missed you, too. Business picks up right before the holidays. After the first of the year, it'll calm down, I promise." 

Murdock still paced. "Why can't we act like we normally do? Why can't I just kiss you?" 

"You have kissed me, very thoroughly, too, I might add." He licked his lips as he remembered. 

Murdock turned a heated gaze to him. "I want to do more than kiss you, Face." 

"I know," Templeton lamented, feeling his cock stir in agreement. "But with Hannibal and B.A. here, I just don't think I'd feel comfortable making love to you." 

"How do you know unless you try?" Murdock purred as he advanced on Templeton. 

"Uh, Murdock," he tried to protest, but his body was craving Murdock's just as much as Murdock's was wanting his. When his back hit the wall, he let his hunger reflect in his eyes. Murdock latched onto his mouth like a starving man and Templeton gave as good as he got. His hands roamed over his lover's body, snaked under Murdock's shirt to bare skin beneath and he moaned lightly. Murdock's hands were much busier, already inside his pants and coaxing a response out of him. 

"Murdock," he gasped as he tried to remember why this was a bad idea. "Murdock, we can't." 

"Don't say that, Face," Murdock whispered against his lips. "Want you." 

He groaned. "I want you too, but we can't. Hannibal and B.A. are just on the other side of the door, waiting for us." 

With great reluctance, Murdock pushed himself away from Templeton and ran his hands through his hair. "Having you this close and not being able to touch you is making me crazy. And I ain't been crazy in a long time, Faceman." 

"I know. I know," he answered as he tried to get his body back under control. He and Murdock could go from cold to white-hot passion in less than five minutes, and they'd had a good head start in that one minute. "We'll try tonight. I promise I'll try," Templeton whispered as he kissed Murdock one more time. 

Murdock's hurt expression tugged at his heart. "I see what you're saying, Face, but why can't I just touch you like I want to?" He ran his hands up Templeton's chest. 

Templeton's breath caught in his throat. He caught Murdock's hands in his and removed them from his chest. "We can't get too carried away. I'm afraid that once I touch you, I won't be able to stop." 

Murdock's eyes widened. "I do that to you?" 

"All the time," he replied as he leaned in to kiss his lover. He lost himself in the heat of Murdock's mouth, until a faint tapping grew to unignorable proportions. 

"Um, fellas?" Hannibal's voice came through the door. "I hate to interrupt, but Murdock wanted to know when White Christmas was on. It just started." 

Murdock groaned softly and leaned his head on Templeton's shoulder. "Faceman, I hate to go, but I really want to see this movie." His eyes pleaded for understanding. 

Templeton kissed him quickly once more, then gave his ass a squeeze. "Let's go watch your movie." He twined his fingers with Murdock's and led him to the armchair. 

"But I always sit on the couch to watch my movies," Murdock whined.

"Trust me, Murdock. The chair," he hissed. Once Murdock was sitting, he settled on the floor between Murdock's legs, resting his head back against the chair. He tilted his head back and grinned. "This okay?" 

Murdock matched his smile as his hands went immediately to his hair. "Just fine, Faceman," he whispered. They both looked up at a shushing sound. 

B.A. was glaring at them. "The movie's started," he growled. 

Templeton mouthed 'sorry' and then turned most of his attention to the movie. A part of him was acutely aware of Murdock's hands in his hair, touching him. At one point, he reached up and inched Murdock's hand down to his mouth, where he placed a kiss on the palm. In answer, Murdock stroked his fingertips lightly down the side of Templeton's neck, and Templeton had to bite his lip to keep from making a sound. He gave up concentrating on the movie and focused on Murdock's movements. His arousal built slowly, a burning within him that he was unaccustomed to. After awhile, he had to still Murdock's hands. A faint tremor started through his body, warning him he was getting too close. He squeezed Murdock's hands and Murdock squeezed back, understanding. He breathed deeply, trying to regain control. Murdock's breathing was unsteady behind him; he was affected, too. 

He threw his total concentration to the movie, hoping images of snow would cool him down. He'd forgotten that snow didn't appear until the end of the movie and he battled with his frustration until 'The End' appeared. With a sigh of relief, he turned and placed his hands on the arms of the chair, expecting Murdock to catch his meaning and head off to bed. But Murdock's eyes were closed; he'd fallen asleep. 

"Didn't he like the movie?" Hannibal whispered. 

"We were up baking cookies until two last night," Templeton answered quietly. At Hannibal's disbelieving stare, he frowned. "The cookies you ate this afternoon? Those took hours to make, then clean up. Plus, we were up by six." A yawn caught him by surprise and he glanced to the clock. After midnight. No wonder. 

"Let's get him to bed. You could both use some shut-eye." Hannibal stood. 

Templeton pushed himself to his feet. He looked absently around the living room. "Did you bring in your bags?" 

"Earlier today. We put them in the guest room." 

Templeton nodded his approval. He leaned over and tugged Murdock's hand. "Come on, sleeping beauty. Time for bed." 

Murdock stirred and mumbled, "Donwanna." 

With a groan, he slipped his arm around Murdock and tried to pick him up. He almost stumbled, but B.A. caught him. 

"Let me help, before you hurt yourself." B.A. got a grip around Murdock and half-dragged him to the bedroom, where he laid him gently down on the bed. 

"Thanks," Templeton whispered as he bent to remove Murdock's shoes. He took off his own shoes and yawned again. 

"I'll let you get some sleep. Night, Face." 

"Night, B.A." He crawled across the bed and flopped onto his pillow. He was asleep in an instant. 

Templeton woke up in the middle of the night to the feeling of Murdock's mouth on his neck. "Huh?" 

"Shhh, you'll wake them up," Murdock hissed. "Just keep quiet and we can do this." 

He was wide awake at that. "Murdock, what are you planning...oh," he groaned softly as Murdock bit gently at a nipple. His body remembered his earlier arousal and immediately came alert to the sensations assaulting his body. 

Determination fueled his desire and he made quick work of Murdock's clothes, getting them out of his way as quickly as possible. He was upon Murdock's body in a heartbeat, reacquainting his hands and mouth to every curve, every plane and angle. Slow and steady was never their style, but this was frenzied, rushed, pure instinct mixed with the added excitement of possibly being heard. This wasn't about love, or sharing, or giving of each other. This was about sex in the truest sense of the word; reaching mutual climax in the most expedient manner possible. It wasn't seductive but it was effective. 

He was, by nature, a groaner and Murdock a shouter, so he latched his mouth onto Murdock's as he stroked Murdock to climax. Murdock was just as wild on his body, driving him hard and fast toward the inevitable. Murdock came first, biting Templeton's lip, which pushed him over the edge. 

He lay trembling in aftershock, trying to calm his breathing and slow his racing heart. He didn't think he'd be up to that sort of workout ever again, but damn, it had been fun. 

Murdock laughed quietly beside him. "Some ride, eh, Face?" he whispered. 

"Remind me to check the warning signs next time," he gasped. His fingertips grazed Murdock's abdomen, coming away sticky. "We've got to clean up." 

"I'm not moving, kimosabe. My bones melted," Murdock groaned. 

"You think I'm doing any better?" Templeton hissed. "But if we don't clean up, we're going to regret it in the morning." 

"I ain't regretting nothing in the morning," Murdock said with a half-laugh. "And there ain't no way I can forget that."

"I know what you mean," Templeton murmured. His body was still thrumming with satisfaction, but sleep was calling to him. With considerable effort, he rolled over and snatched a box of tissues off the nightstand. "Hold still," he instructed as he cleaned Murdock's body as best he could. He mopped himself off, then tossed the tissues and box to the floor. He snuggled against Murdock and closed his eyes. 

"Merry Christmas, Face," Murdock whispered. 

"Merry Christmas, Murdock," Templeton sighed before he drifted to sleep. 

The next day, the knowing looks they got caused the tips of Templeton's ears to turn pink. Obviously, they hadn't been as quiet as they thought. That squelched any ideas of further romantic - or not so romantic - interludes while the guys were there. 

Templeton went into work for half days the remainder of the week, which was shortened anyway due to New Year's. That left Murdock plenty of time to catch up with B.A. and Hannibal, though he felt somehow left out. 

Hannibal never did have a steady job; his acting career was never stable and his vigilante activities didn't offer weekly paychecks. B.A. still helped Hannibal now and then, but mostly he volunteered at the shelters and orphanages in LA and the surrounding counties. He worked at the docks to pay for his apartment and necessities, which left him plenty of time for his volunteer work. Murdock had arranged to have the holidays off, so they all had all the time they wanted to shoot the breeze. Jealousy gnawed at his conscience. Was this the price of a normal life? A stable job, steady paycheck, working when he'd rather be at home, holding the one he loved? Maybe scamming had been a better life. Then he remembered all the uncertainty and the fear of getting caught. He couldn't go back to that. He had no desire to go back to that. Things weren't easier now, but they were better. The house, the car and the business were his. He'd gotten them legit or as legit as he could with a fake name. He was proud of his life. So why did he feel so neglected? 

Only half the office had volunteered to work this week and Templeton felt an obligation to put in some time as well. He looked over their schedule. There wasn't anything that couldn't wait until after New Year's to finish. He called everyone together and told them to come back on the second and wished them all a Happy New Year. The smiles and excitement matched his own. It was only an extra two days off, but they were days he could spend with his family. He was the last one out, making sure everything non-vital was turned off and then headed home. 

Murdock greeted him at the door with a crushing hug. "I thought you had to work?" 

"I'm the boss. I told everyone to go home until the second." He grinned. "Me included." 

"Ah, you've discovered the advantages to being the one in charge," Hannibal noted with a sly grin. 

"Very funny, Hannibal," Templeton said. "But you're right. There are distinct advantages to being the boss." He drew Murdock against him and took his time in properly greeting him. 

"Hey, I thought you said you'd restrain yourselves," B.A. sounded annoyed. 

"Can't a fellow even say hello to his lover after being away from him for hours?" He made it sound like the worst fate imaginable. 

"Yeah," Murdock agreed with a pout.

B.A.'s lip curled in a snarl, but he couldn't hold it. It ended up a smile. 

"What do you know?" Templeton mused. "His face didn't crack." 

"His smile; it was like a ray of sunlight, bursting through the clouds," Murdock declared as he stretched his arms wide and pirouetted across the floor. 

"How can you live with that?" B.A. asked as he jerked a thumb at Murdock's antics. 

"To know him is to love him," Templeton said. "Or is that to love him is to know him?" 

Templeton eyed Murdock warily as he danced behind him. He felt Murdock's arms circle his waist and warm breath at his ear. 

"How about just love him until you know him inside and out?" he whispered so the others couldn't hear. 

Judging by Hannibal's raised eyebrow, Templeton was sure his face was flushed. "Um, what were you guys doing before I got here?" he asked, trying to distract not only Hannibal's knowing eyes, but himself from the gentle grinding of Murdock's hips against his ass. 

"Murdock was going to teach me one of the computer games he got for Christmas," B.A. said. 

"Mm, that sounds good." Templeton's voice hitched on the last word as Murdock's fingernails dragged across his chest, just above his vest. He felt like he was on display. He slipped out of Murdock's embrace and walked toward the bedroom. "I'll just go change." He didn't breathe until he closed the door behind him. Murdock was going to pay for that. He didn't know when or how. But he would pay. He grinned as he imagined the possibilities.


	6. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A New Year, and time to say goodbye to Hannibal and B.A. But Face and Murdock have a new life to start...maybe.

On New Year's Eve, they started their celebration early. After dinner, B.A. popped the cork on the bottle of champagne and poured the bubbly into the four waiting glasses. Murdock started to take a drink, but Templeton stopped him. 

"We have to toast first," he reminded his lover. 

Murdock nodded and waited patiently for B.A. to pick up his glass. Hannibal raised his first. "Well, fellas, we survived another year. The government and other assorted baddies have all but given up the chase. We're back together. To old friends and new beginnings. Cheers." 

"Cheers," they chorused and clinked glasses. 

Templeton had his glass halfway to his mouth when Murdock's hand stopped him. 

"I've always wanted to try this." Murdock carefully tucked his arm around Templeton's, until the crook of their elbows touched. With a wide smile, he lifted his glass slightly. Templeton did likewise, then they carefully sipped the champagne. 

"It tickles my nose," Murdock giggled. 

"No worse than root beer," Templeton observed. 

"Yeah, but this tastes much better." Murdock gulped a healthy mouthful. 

"Murdock, be careful," Templeton cautioned. "This is the good stuff. You want to savor it." 

Murdock's eyes darkened. "I'd rather savor you," he said huskily. 

"Later," Templeton promised with a light kiss. "Right now, we have some decisions to make. You want to try the pigs feet or not?" They all had agreed to buy one thing for after dinner, something that they hadn't tried before. 

"Um, I think I'm gonna go with a big 'no' on that one, kimosabe," Murdock said faintly. "Bacon is one thing, but the little pigs walk on their feet." 

"Hm, good point. Hannibal? What did you want to try?" Templeton himself was putting off his choice. Oysters were one thing; whatever it was that B.A. brought was something else entirely. 

"Don't tell me you're afraid of a little octopus are you, Lieutenant?" Hannibal teased as he bit into a tentacle. 

Templeton blanched. "I'm beginning to think this was a bad idea." 

Murdock's hand rubbed in small circles on his back. "C'mon, Faceman. Wasn't this the year for trying something new?" 

He smiled softly. "Yeah, I suppose it was." With a deep breath, he eyed his choices. Deciding he at least knew what a pig was, he chose the pickled pig's feet. He made a disgusted noise and drained his glass. "Oh, yuck." 

Hannibal smirked. "Not to your liking, kid?" 

"The pickling is worse than the actual foot," he complained. "Your turn, B.A." 

B.A. chose a small piece of octopus and chewed it carefully. "Not bad." He pointed it at Murdock. "You're up." 

Murdock surveyed the table thoughtfully, lips pursed in concentration. He finally picked up whatever it was that that B.A. had brought and took a small bite. "Whoo, big guy, this is strong stuff." 

"Yeah. Just like momma used to make. It'll strip the paint off a car." 

"I think it's stripping the insides outta me," Murdock remarked as he held his stomach. He finished off his champagne and refilled his glass. 

"Well, that's everyone. Now what do we want to do?" Hannibal asked as he clapped his hands together. 

"It's only ten o'clock," Templeton mused. "I think there's some sort of happenings downtown, if you're interested." 

"What about clubs? Think anything's going on at any of the local clubs?" B.A. asked. 

"I'm sure there is, but I haven't heard of any personally. I didn't get out much to check," Templeton admitted with a sheepish grin aimed toward Murdock. Murdock blew him a kiss. 

"Uh-huh," B.A. said knowingly. "So what about it? Anyone up for a drive to see what's going on?" 

"I'm game," Hannibal announced. 

Murdock toyed with a napkin on the table. "I think I'd rather stay here. You know, hang out." His eyes met Templeton's and Templeton felt that sultry look clear down to his toes. 

"Uh, yeah. I think I'll stay here, too," he announced to a not overly surprised Hannibal and B.A. 

"Have it your way, guys. B.A. and I will hit the town. But in case we don't get back in time, how about a hug for the New Year?" 

Murdock placed his glass on the table with exaggerated care. "C'mere," he said as he turned and hugged the Colonel. 

Templeton drained his glass and set it next to Murdock's. He raised an eyebrow at B.A. and held out his arms. "Well, big guy?" 

B.A. lifted him slightly off the floor with the force of his hug, but Templeton hung on and laughed. 

"Better be careful, B.A. Murdock might get jealous of you sweeping me off my feet."

"I would never be jealous of him," Murdock said as he took long strides to B.A.'s side. He grabbed Templeton's hand and slammed their bodies together, knocking the wind out of him. "For it is my place to sweep your feet from under you." 

Murdock's right hand was at the small of his back, with his left clasped in Templeton's right, and Templeton was acutely aware of what Murdock intended. Before he could say a word, Murdock was moving them in broad circles around the living room, dancing to a tune he hummed. He laughed and tried to keep up, but he wasn't used to dancing backwards. He stumbled and hugged Murdock's shoulders for support. His hand clutched Murdock's shirt as he spun them around and he started yelling for Murdock to stop. 

"Please, please," he said breathlessly. "Can't...dizzy...Murdock!" he shrieked as he felt himself falling backward. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited to impact the floor, but all he felt was a tug to his hand and Murdock's supporting arm under his shoulder. His eyes flew open and he found himself in the classic 'dip' pose. Murdock twirled him upright and bowed with a flourish. 

Templeton's heart was hammering in his chest. He smoothed his hair as he tried to catch his breath. "Warn me next time before you dip me," he cautioned. 

"Next time?" Murdock perked up. 

"You know what I mean," he said. His glare shifted to Hannibal, who was clapping. 

Hannibal removed his cigar and pointed it at them. "You two looked good. Have you been dancing before?" 

"Are you kidding? Did you see me panic as my head fell back?" He pointed to the floor to emphasize his statement. "I thought I was going to crack my skull." 

Murdock - in full seduction mode - slipped his arms around Templeton's shoulders and murmured, "You know I would never let you fall, Faceman." 

"Even the best of us make mistakes," Templeton retorted as Murdock's nearness set his heart racing again. He wasn't about to be mollified. He wasn't. Not even if Murdock kissed him...there. He groaned as Murdock's teeth nipped at his throat. "Not fair," he whimpered. 

"I believe we've seen this show before. Time to go, B.A.," Hannibal announced as he went to get his coat. 

Templeton reluctantly stepped away from Murdock. "We have to say goodbye to them, at least," he said. "Then once they're gone..."

"We'll play," Murdock finished for him, with a predatory gaze that set his heart pounding all over again. 

B.A. went to start the van and Hannibal poked his head back through the door on his way out to say, "Oh, fellas, we probably won't be back until late. Maybe after two or so. So don't wait up." With a wink, he shut the door. 

"I do believe we've just been dumped," Murdock remarked. 

"Looks that way to me," Templeton said, without a trace of regret. He reached out and caressed Murdock's chest. "So, do you want to wait until after the New Year or send the old one out with a bang?"

Murdock gave it careful consideration...for all of ten seconds. "Let's just wait and see what happens, okay, Face? It'll happen when it needs to happen, you know?" 

"Yeah, I think I do," he murmured as he gave Murdock a long, slow kiss. Anticipation could be fun, if it wasn't drawn out too long. An hour and a half wasn't really that long of a wait. But what would they do until then? He eyed the box of chocolates at the far end of the table. He picked up the box, grabbed Murdock's hand and pulled him to the couch. They proceeded to feed each other chocolates in between kisses, oblivious to the Times Square countdown on television. 

"Mmm, Faceman, it's time," Murdock said breathlessly as Templeton mouthed his neck. 

"I know," he moaned as his hands slid under Murdock's shirt. It took him a moment to realize that Murdock meant the countdown. They broke apart at the two minute mark, stopping to catch their breath. 

At the count of ten, Templeton drew Murdock's body close again. At the count of five, he whispered, "I love you." 

At the count of three, Murdock answered, "I love you, Faceman," and their lips met as the ball connected, announcing the start of another year. 

The celebration on TV faded to the background as Templeton got lost in the touch, the feel, the scent of his lover. Murdock tasted of champagne and the chocolates. It was a sensuous combination he wouldn't soon forget. Kissing Murdock was always arousing, but this went much deeper than just erotic foreplay. It was about love and sharing of that love and the mere idea left him breathless. He sucked gently at Murdock's lower lip as they parted. He was sure the love he saw shining from Murdock's eyes was reflected in his own. 

"I love you," he said for the first time that year. It was a good start for a new year and one he hoped ended much in the same way. 

"I love you," Murdock answered. 

Templeton's hand threaded through Murdock's hair, guiding him down to his parted lips. The embers of desire they had been fanning all night suddenly lighted. Want merged with love, threatening to overwhelm them. Templeton felt Murdock's shirt bunched in his fists as he tried to pull it out of his pants and over his head. The need to touch bare skin was strong, but the need to maintain contact was equally fierce. 

He groaned as Murdock's teeth nipped at the sensitive spot just below his ear. Light as air kisses danced across his neck, setting his nerves tingling in anticipation. His lips parted as the path of Murdock's nibbling directed toward his mouth. Murdock's tongue caressed his, his hand stroked along the back of his neck, a melting sensation started somewhere in his gut and spread outward and he felt himself slipping to the floor. Murdock fell with him, in what felt like slow motion and their bodies touched the floor at the same time. He settled his body between Murdock's legs, with Murdock's erection pressed against his. His moan was swallowed by his lover as a possessive hand cupped his ass. Hips started rocking, gently at first, then more insistent. 

With a painful hiss, he forced Murdock still. He rolled them over, until Murdock was on top of him. Their eyes locked, words unnecessary. Templeton reached down and undid his pants, while Murdock took care of his own. Shirts were impatiently tossed aside. Then flesh met flesh with an unrestrained passion. 

Every groan, every whimper he'd been unable to voice the past week was given free reign as Murdock's body joined with his. His body rocked with the force of Murdock's thrusts, his moans and pleas urging him on. Murdock was wild; it felt like he was trying to make their bodies one through his will alone. Templeton wrapped himself around Murdock's body and rode out the storm, feeling Murdock climax inside him. Before he knew it, Murdock was sliding down his body and swallowing his erection. The immediate heat surprised him and he came the next second. 

"Happy New Year," Murdock panted in his ear. 

His brain felt fuzzy and his body still thrummed. "It's been great so far," Templeton gasped out. His entire body was relaxed to the point of near-sleep, but he resisted. "We can't stay on the floor. Hannibal and B.A. have to come back sometime. I think they'd be a bit shocked to find us naked on the floor." 

Murdock was quiet for a minute. "Okay." 

Neither of them said a word for another minute. "We didn't move," Templeton noted. 

Murdock shifted a bit, draping his body across Templeton's. His head was buried in Templeton's neck. "Feel too good to move, Faceman. Just want to snuggle right here." 

He felt his eyes drifting closed and struggled against sleep. He inhaled sharply as he moved against the carpet. "Murdock, I think I have rug burns on my back. I want to rest on the sheets." 

Murdock sat up and stared at him in concern. "Are you serious?" 

"I'm not sure. You were pretty...um...intense there." He sat up and licked his lips. "Let's go to bed." He pushed himself to his feet, grabbing his clothes as he stood. 

Murdock followed suit and they met in the middle of the bed, wrapped around each other. Murdock's hand traced idle circles on his back and his voice was concerned. "Does that hurt?" 

"Nah," Templeton said as he buried his nose in Murdock's hair. "But your hand feels good. You feel good." 

Murdock's arms tightened around him. "Definitely agree there, Faceman." 

Templeton sighed and allowed his body to relax into sleep. 

~~~

Hannibal and B.A. left the next afternoon, leaving behind an empty feeling in the house. Murdock went back to bed and Templeton let him be. They both had to get used to being alone again. Templeton didn't like to mope, though. He preferred action. He set himself to cleaning the living room, as there were still stray bits of wrapping paper mixed in with the pine needles he hadn't time to clean up before. As he reached under the couch for a scrap of paper, his hand brushed something solid. He pulled out the digital camera. He forgot he even gave it to Hannibal. He dimly recalled pictures being taken, but the only one that stood out in his mind was the one they took of all four of them, posed before the tree. He powered it up and flipped through the thumbnail pictures. Most of them looked to be of him and Murdock, but at least one was of B.A., and somehow, Hannibal had gotten in a picture or two. Intrigued, he removed the disk and inserted it into the computer. He opened the pictures one by one, amazed at the images Hannibal captured. Murdock's expression as he held up his new jacket. The kiss he and Murdock shared as thanks for said jacket. B.A. about to rip off a bow someone - probably Murdock - had placed on his head. A shot of Hannibal, smiling indulgently, as Murdock dangled mistletoe above Templeton's head. B.A. must have taken that one. 

Realizing this might pull Murdock out of his funk, he went into the bedroom and called softly, "Murdock?" 

Murdock lay on his side, ear close to the radio. Templeton could see it was turned on, but it was so soft he couldn't hear anything. It had been a long time since Murdock turned on the radio like that. Templeton frowned in worry. "Murdock, I want to show you something. I think it might cheer you up." 

"No thanks, Faceman," he answered quietly. 

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm worried about you. I know you're feeling a bit down now that the guys left, but we'll see them again." 

"I know." Murdock's voice sounded mournful. 

"Come on," Templeton coaxed. "I want you to see something." 

"Face, I really don't feel like it," Murdock protested. 

"I won't let you wallow in self-pity, Murdock. I'll start singing. I won't stop until you come with me. You know I only know one song. Shall we see how long you withstand continuous choruses of 'You Are My Sunshine'?" 

"Oh, Face, that's not fair. That borders on torture." 

"Hey," he playfully slapped Murdock's flank. "I thought I had a pretty decent singing voice." 

"You do. It's that song." Murdock sat up and sighed. "All right, let's see what you've got." 

Templeton clasped Murdock's hand and hauled him to his feet. He guided him through the living room and sat him down in front of the computer. "There." 

"They're too small to see." 

"Click on one; it'll enlarge. I forgot I gave the camera to Hannibal; I found it under the couch." 

Murdock flipped through the images once, then went back to a few favorites. "Can we print this one and frame it?" he asked of the group picture in front of the tree. 

"I should be able to do it tomorrow at work. Better quality paper, there. It will last longer, too. We should send some to Hannibal and B.A.," he suggested. 

"Let me pick, Face. Please?" Murdock didn't plead; he was serious in his request. 

Templeton squeezed his shoulder warmly. "It's your call, buddy. Send them whichever you think they'll like. I'll go make us some coffee, okay?" 

"Sure." Murdock was already distracted and Templeton smiled as he retreated to the kitchen. 

Things fell back into their familiar pattern of work and home, with the occasional holiday to liven things up. Valentine's Day was an intimate affair. Forever the die-hard romantic, Templeton sent flowers to Murdock's work and arranged to have more delivered to the house. He was caught off-guard by a delivery of chocolates and champagne to his office, signed, "Some things bear repeating." Thinking of New Year's, Templeton felt a flush cover most of his upper body. Thankfully, his office provided him a little privacy and he spent a few minutes getting his errant body under control. He'd already made reservations at Murdock's favorite restaurant, but the rest of the evening was open to suggestion. Murdock surprised him with creativity that had been honed to a fine art over the years and Templeton couldn't wipe the smile off his face the next day. Or the rest of the week. 

The courier business was picking up and Murdock was asked to work two Saturdays a month during the summer. He agreed, though asked if he could skate on good days in nice weather. Thinking it a novel idea, SpeeDee Swifty Courier Service agreed and Murdock became their first over age 25 inline skating delivery man. Templeton worried at that. Murdock was a good skater, but he was also nearing his forty-ninth birthday. It was crazy of him to pretend he could keep up with the younger guys. Then again, he and Murdock didn't behave much like old men. Thinking of the previous night, a smile lit his face as a twitch stirred his groin. Definitely not ready for the retirement home yet. 

That Saturday morning as he was shaving, he noticed thin laugh lines around his eyes. He'd always been vain about his appearance – after all, it was his livelihood. He was surprised he hadn't noticed them before. He spent the next few minutes doing stretching exercises, hoping that would tone his skin. Unfortunately, two minutes wasn't going to do much. With a feeling of dread, he checked his hair and found it going a little gray at the sides. 

Murdock kissed his shoulder as he passed behind him, on the way to the shower. "Whatcha looking at, Faceman?" 

"Lines," he moaned as he pulled at the corner of his eyes. "I have laugh lines around my eyes." His hands moved to part his hair. "And gray hair. I think I'm getting old." 

"I prefer to think of you as distinguished," Murdock said as he selected his shampoo from the closet. 

Templeton gave himself a wild-eyed look in the mirror. "Oh, God, don't say that to me. You say that to old men with gray hair, sitting around a gentlemen's club admiring their manicures, not to your lover." 

Murdock came up behind him and stared at him in the mirror. "But Face, you've always been the sophisticated one. You've always had the looks. Still do. Still drive me wild." He pressed another kiss to the side of Templeton's neck. "Just because you ain't no spring chicken anymore, is no reason to panic." 

"What?" he gasped, horrified. 

"Baby, trust me, you've got it where it counts." Murdock's hand cupped him through his pajama bottoms and he shuddered. "And let me tell you, a world of experience is worth more than all the hype about the energy of youth. I'd say we've got some energy left in us, wouldn't you?" 

"Ah – uh-huh," he agreed, not caring what he was agreeing to, as long as Murdock didn't stop. He leaned back against his lover and gripped the edge of the sink as Murdock brought him to a quick climax. 

"So, Face, how old you feeling now?" Murdock drawled in his ear. 

He gulped air and met Murdock's eyes in the mirror. "Better. Great, even." 

"Good. Now, I don't wanna hear no more complaining from you about your looks." He ran his hand over Templeton's ass and gave it a squeeze. Templeton jumped slightly and glared at Murdock in the mirror. "You always were the cutest guy I ever knew." 

Templeton turned in Murdock's arms and tilted his head in curiosity. "I was? No other men haunted your dreams?" 

Murdock shook his head. "Just you. Always, you," he murmured as he leaned forward and kissed Templeton. 

His hands rubbed at Murdock's chest, slipping lower to drag Murdock's pants down his hips. Templeton slowly kissed his way down Murdock's body, until he knelt on the floor. He wrapped his hand around Murdock's erection and flicked his tongue at the head. It was still something he was getting used to, but he had plenty of practice the past few months. Murdock's hands gripped his shoulders, guiding Templeton where he wanted him. After much teasing, flicking and sucking, Murdock howled his release. 

They showered together, but Templeton's mind was working overtime. Seeing his graying hairs got him thinking. Here he was, almost fifty years old and he was giving a blow job to another guy in the bathroom. Wasn't that something teenagers did? What was he thinking, at his age, doing the things he was doing? Here he was, in love for the first time in his life, and it was with Murdock. Were they crazy? Should they be doing this at all? 

He stared at his reflection again and absently touched his hair, wondering if it was starting to thin out. His fingers strayed to the corner of his eye. He always relied on his looks for everything. They were his angle; his specialty. Murdock's earlier comment haunted him: 'you always were the cutest guy I knew.' Without his looks...would Murdock still love him? Face wasn't just a name; it was who he was. Without his looks, what could he offer Murdock? 

With a heavy heart, he settled next to Murdock on the couch. His hands were shaking with nerves. The cartoons hadn't started yet, so he clicked off the TV. At Murdock's puzzled look, he took a deep breath and asked, "Why do you love me?" 

Murdock didn't seem surprised by the question. "Because I do," he stated matter-of-factly. 

"That's not an answer. I need to know what you see in me. Is it –" his eyes filled with tears, "Is it just my looks?" 

Murdock studied him a full minute before answering; the longest minute of Templeton's life. "What gave you that idea?" 

"You still call me Face," he pointed out. "That's all anyone ever saw in me. Why would you be different?" 

Murdock smiled indulgently and caught Templeton's hand between his own. "Face, I call you that cuz it's your nickname, not because I think that's all you are. I love you because you're a good person, not because your eyes are the lightest blue I've ever seen. So what if you've got a few more lines now than you did twenty years ago? I don't care." 

"How can you not care?" His voice cracked on the question. He dropped his head to his chest and tried to fight back his tears. "I'm-I'm not good enough for you anymore." 

The grip on his hand tightened as Murdock's voice grew more forceful. "Will you listen to what I'm telling you? I love you for you, not what you look like. I could be blind and still love you." 

Templeton shook his head back and forth, knowing that Murdock was just trying to make him feel better. "No, you couldn't. My looks got me this far in life. They got me you. But they can't keep you." 

Templeton's gut twisted as Murdock's soft voice admitted, "You're right. They can't. So maybe you should start trusting me that I'm a better man that than, huh?" 

His head jerked up at that and he met Murdock's tear-filled eyes. 

"I'm not some shallow bimbo you picked off the street or scammed. I'm your friend. I've been your friend most of my life. When are you going to learn that looks don't matter? I won't care when we're old and gray, shriveled like prunes, half-deaf and half-blind. If I'm with you, I've got everything I need." 

He wanted to believe Murdock. He did. But that little voice inside him wouldn't let him. That voice that told him to keep moving, not get attached, leave them before they left you. That insecurity he'd lived with all his life wasn't going to go away just because Murdock wanted it to. Tears slipped down his face. "I don't know how you can say that. I don't know how you can..." 

Murdock grabbed his arms and shook him lightly. "Do you know what unconditional means? I love you unconditionally. That means no matter what, I'll be here. No matter what. Do you understand?" 

A flood of emotions shook his body; years, decades of self-denial being forced into the open and destroyed. He valiantly tried one last time to salvage his shield. "People only declare their unconditional love in the movies." 

"Face, stop talking nonsense. What will it take to get you to see? Saying I love you hasn't been enough. Showing you, either. I don't know any other way to get you to understand." 

Templeton allowed his tears to flow unchecked. This was it. Murdock was going to leave him. How could he expect Murdock to want to live with him? He was losing his looks, he was an emotional mess; who could possibly want him? 

Murdock's soft voice reached him through his thoughts. "Face, there is one other thing I can do, but I don't know how you'll take it. I've thought about this a lot, seriously thought about it and I think it's something I want to do. I think it's something you might need. I want us to be together, forever, Face. I want something tangible between us, you know? Something you can hold in your hand and know that I love you."

The words washed over him, barely registering to his shocked system. Something tangible. Forever. Commitment. Words he never liked when it came to women. Words that caused him to leave, over and over, before he got hurt. Before he fell too hard. Before the need for them became too great. He was already too late with Murdock. He'd fallen without realizing. His need overpowering. His desire frightening. How could he tell Murdock what he felt for him? How could he explain the depths, when he didn't begin to understand them himself? The one memory he'd hoarded to himself, never even thought since that first night, clawed its way to the surface of his conscious. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, trying to stop his body's tremors. 

He tried to fight the memory, but it was forever burned into his mind: Murdock was the only one who filled in those lonely places inside. Murdock was the only one to touch him, the real him, the one he was afraid was lost forever, between running from the law and all the scams he played. The little boy who grew up without a mother. The cocky kid who went off to fight a war and ended up a fugitive. The man who had no attachments in his life, except to three men, who had put his life in jeopardy and saved it countless times. The man who found the life he thought he wanted in a woman and her sweet daughter. The man who discovered that his feelings for another man were stronger than anything he'd ever felt in his entire life and he was scared shitless at what that meant. 

Murdock's next words sent him crashing out of his introspection. 

"I don't know if you're listening to me or not anymore, but I gotta say this. I can't keep it bottled up inside anymore. I want us to get married. Not right away," he added quickly. "I just want you to know how committed I am to you. I'm willing to forsake all others and till death do us part. I don't want nobody else but you, Faceman." 

He stared at Murdock in numbed shock. Married? Murdock wanted to marry him? A wave of fear threatened to overwhelm him and he curled in on himself even further, trying to block it. But the fear came from inside him and he couldn't avoid it. Couldn't hide from it. It laughed at him, daring him to answer. His protective shell was gone, his self confidence shattered. He had no defenses left. All the doubts and questions bubbled to the surface. He shook his head, trying to block out the sounds in his head. The taunting. The mocking. What did he think he was doing, trying to have a relationship with Murdock? Was Beth the last straw, so he decided to try the other half for awhile, see if he had more luck with men? Did he really want a relationship or was it still just sex he was after? Was it just novel? Something new to try? Did he harbor any secret fantasies about other men or just Murdock? If it was just Murdock, then what did that make him? 

"No," he wailed as he sat upright. He glanced around, wide-eyed, trying to ignore it. But Murdock was forcing him to acknowledge something he didn't want to examine; didn't want to know about. Didn't want to admit about himself. "No," he repeated forcefully. "You don't understand what's happened to me. You can't know what I'm going through. You can't know how I'm feeling. Hell, I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. I relied on my looks my whole life, Murdock. My whole life. And today, I realized they're starting to fade. So what does that leave me with? I can't be Face anymore. I'm not even Templeton. I'm supposed to be Jonathan Tempe, but I don't know who he is." His body shook again, this time in anger. "Everything I thought I was, is gone. I'm not me anymore. Who am I supposed to be, huh? Tell me who I'm supposed to be," he taunted Murdock, daring him to answer. Hoping Murdock could answer, so then maybe he could feel whole again. 

"I think you're a man who's realizing you're not who you thought you were and you're scared. I know; I've been there. It's scary and dark, and you feel all alone. But you're not alone. I'm right here, buddy. I'm not going anywhere." 

Murdock's words made sense to the logical part of him that still functioned, but the rest was in control and it wasn't having any of it. He shook his head and hugged his legs tighter. "What do you mean you've been where I am? How can you possibly..." Something in Murdock's expression halted his accusation. 

"Face, I'm going to tell you something. I haven't told anyone this before, not even the doctors at the VA. I was where you are right now. I was confused and thought there was something wrong with me, and so I hid it deep, deep down, so I wouldn't have to face it. I kept it hidden for a long time and I almost forgot. One day, when I was twenty, dropping a battalion off in Khe Sanh, I decided to take a break and headed to the local bar. There I caught sight of a vision that I still remember to this day. Second Lieutenant Templeton Peck, with two women on either side of him, center of attention in a room full of officers. You laughed the loudest, smiled the brightest. Told the funniest jokes. I could tell you were fresh from the States. No one who'd been in 'Nam longer than a month could still have that spark. But you, you managed to keep it through 'Nam, through the trial, through the jailbreak and the years on the run afterwards. You've still got it. That's the part of you that's real. That's the part I fell in love with." 

He thought his soul was crying, he ached so badly. Hurt so badly. Wanted, so badly. He wanted Murdock so much, it was physically painful to hold himself back. But he did, because he couldn't. Couldn't bring himself to move. Couldn't bring himself to admit to himself, what he'd been denying. But Murdock wasn't done. 

"I know what you're thinking. I thought it too. You're trying to figure out who you are, because you think you've changed. Well, only a part of you has changed. The rest is still the same. When I was fifteen, there wasn't a nice term for what I am. I grew up confused. Not knowing who I was or what I was. I didn't want to be what I am; I wanted to be normal, like everyone else. So I tried it. Even liked it. Sometimes, I liked it a lot. But love, love is special. It doesn't compare to anything. It's a special feeling and I've had that feeling for exactly one person in my life. No one else. And I think you know who that is." 

He crushed a fist to his mouth, but a sob escaped anyway, then another and another. He felt Murdock's arms around him and he clung to him like a drowning man, holding onto his last anchor, hoping this wouldn't be his third time under. His entire life had been an illusion. He wanted to be the sophisticated ladies man about town, so he created the scenario for himself. He surrounded himself with the things that would give him status and prestige, and all those things he thought important. Now it was all crumbling around him, his self-delusions, anger, confusion and grief, and he was left with a terrible sense of loss. But once again, Murdock was there, filling in those places with himself. Murdock's arms stayed around him, long after he'd stopped feeling them and long after he'd quieted. 

He pushed himself upright and wiped his face with the heel of his hand. "Oh, God. Why can't I just love you and not worry about labels? Why does it matter?" 

Murdock shrugged. "It doesn't. It only matters to you." 

"You don't have any problems with this?" he asked, voice full of disbelief. 

"I accepted myself a long time ago, Faceman," Murdock answered quietly. "You're coming into the game a little late, but you're hardly past your prime." 

"Don't make jokes, damn it," he snapped. 

"I'm very serious." Murdock studied him for a moment, then said, "I want you to remember two things: one, what you're feeling is normal. We, as humans, don't tend to accept change well and self-realization is one of the hardest to handle." 

When Murdock didn't continue, he asked with impatience, "What's the second?" 

"That I love you." 

He forced himself to calm down. The world wasn't ending. He was just going through a mid-life crisis. Some men bought cars; others cheated on their wives. He had sex with his male best friend. He was in love with his male best friend. He thought back to the years of trust they had between them. Murdock wouldn't steer him wrong. If he said his breakdown was normal, then he'd accept it as normal. It didn't mean he had to like it. "So, what do you want me to do? Stand up like at an AA meeting and announce it?" 

"Whatever you feel comfortable with. I don't have to hear it at all." Murdock touched his shoulder lightly. "This is for you. To ease your mind. To settle your fears." 

He took a shaky breath. "Okay. I can do this." 

"You don't have to," Murdock reminded him. 

He nodded. "Yes, I do. If I don't say it now, I never will. I'm gay." It sounded foreign to his ears, but he didn't feel any different. Murdock's small smile didn't help him any. "What're you smiling at?" 

Murdock tried to stop smiling, but the attempt was weak at best. "Um, well, technically I think you're bisexual. You've loved women for far too long to suddenly switch teams, if you catch my drift." 

Now he really was confused. "Bisexual? As in...?"

"Liking both," Murdock explained. "Loving both. I think you qualify." 

"You mean I'm not...?" He was starting to get a headache. Was he or wasn't he gay? Wasn't that the definition of loving someone of the same sex? 

"Gay? Well, I don't want to get into a philosophical debate with you about it," Murdock said. "Let's just say that you love people, regardless of gender. How does that sound?" 

He rolled that idea around in his head for a bit. "That doesn't sound too bad." 

"So, how do you feel?" 

"I'm not sure," he answered truthfully. "Has anything changed between us?" 

Murdock leaned forward and kissed him, slow and easy. "You tell me." 

His heart pounded in his chest as he licked his lips. "No, nothing's changed there." 

Murdock allowed his grin to surface. "What were you afraid was gonna happen? The Earth open up and swallow you? Trust me, one little life ain't going to throw the whole world out of whack. You're still the same person you were yesterday, only now you know who you are." 

"I do?" he asked, perplexed. 

"Sure, you do. You're Templeton Peck, member of the A-Team. You like fast cars and faster women, or at least you did until you started your own business and you shacked up with an old, yet extremely handsome, Army buddy." Murdock posed and tossed back his head. "And now, things will be much clearer." 

"They will?" He sounded skeptical to his own ears. 

Murdock assured him, "Once you know yourself and get comfortable, you'll understand." 

Doubt was creeping further into his mind. "What if I never get comfortable?" 

"You already have," Murdock noted as he squeezed their joined hands. 

Templeton hadn't even realized he'd grabbed Murdock's hand during his confession. Some part of him knew that Murdock was his focus, even while the rest of him turned inside out. He'd been so shaken by his revelation and admission, that he didn't feel the full effect of Murdock's – well, proposal – until now. His stomach fluttered nervously. "Murdock, were you serious? About wanting to...you know." 

Murdock's grip tightened on his hand. "I've never been more serious in my life, Face. I don't want nobody but you." 

He looked down at their joined hands, turning them as if a new angle would bring him answers. "I want to be honest with you, Murdock. The idea of...that...scares me. Of wanting just one person for the rest of your life. How do you know you picked the right one?" 

"Face, let me ask you something. Have you always been afraid of marriage?" 

He glanced up to Murdock's face. "I wouldn't say afraid..." Murdock's disbelieving look cut through him, "Okay, afraid is accurate. I might go as far to say terrified." 

"Why?" 

He tried to arrange his thoughts. "Well, because, that sort of commitment, that level of trust in another person...it requires a lot from both people. How do you ever know the other person enough to know that they're the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? How do you know that you're making the right decision?" 

Murdock was silent a moment. "I think faith has a lot to do with it. Faith and trust, and especially love. If you love someone so much that the thought of not ever seeing them again makes you crazy, then that's probably the person for you." 

Templeton remained quiet for a few moments, digesting everything that had been said by both of them. He resolved to think about the marriage thing later. Right now, he was more concerned about his altered self image. It was shattering for him and he was nearly fifty. How had Murdock done it at fifteen? He studied his lover, seeing Murdock with a new perspective. "You went through this at fifteen?" he asked, admiration creeping into his voice. 

"I was a very progressive kid." Murdock offered him a quick smile before he stuffed his hands into his pockets and headed to the den. 

Absently, Templeton heard the computer boot up. In his mind, he'd completely revamped his self-perception, but in reality, nothing changed. He still liked classical music. He still loved Murdock. He still missed his treasured 'vette. He still worried about his business. For the most part, he felt normal, if a bit unsettled. 

Married. Trust Murdock to think up something so completely out there. The two just...didn't seem to go together. Sure, he loved Murdock. Almost too much. But not enough. Never enough. He didn't think beyond that. Tried not to. But now he couldn't ignore it. But...married to him. Who would be the wife? The husband? Would they have to choose? Would they each have to take a role, like he'd seen his other friends do? He couldn't picture himself being either one. He wanted to simply be himself and he didn't want Murdock to change. Things were good between them. He didn't want to destroy what they had. Maybe it was best if they left things the way they were for now. They might not be the most orthodox couple in the state, but they loved each other. So far, that had seen them through. 

His lip curled in a sardonic smile. He, Templeton Peck, was in love with a man. He'd known that for a long time, but now it had a deeper meaning. He understood what it meant and the consequences they faced being an untraditional couple. There would be people who thought them strange or disgusting, or a threat to their way of life. He'd seen the looks they got when they went out, but he'd been able to ignore them for the most part. Murdock didn't seem to mind and Templeton took his cue from him. Would that change now? Would he feel exposed, like everyone was looking at him? He wouldn't know until they went out. He wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. 

He folded his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. If he was bisexual, when did he want the other sex? He wasn't consciously aware of thinking some guy was hot or would be fun on a date. He'd never checked a guy out in the communal showers in the army. The Team, though, had been given strange looks before. Four men, living together? Hanging out day and night, through adrenaline rushes and near death experiences. They deflected the questions with humor and quick thinking, and they never thought about it. At least, he hadn't. His healthy ego convinced him that he was a lover of ladies of every race, creed and nationality. It was what kept him together through the years. His ego had been battered by his realization. Beaten severely, but not defeated. If he could love women, why not men? Why did it have to be any different? 

He prided himself on being open-minded. When he set up his company, he made sure all his employees were cared for, regardless of age, sex, religion, race or sexual orientation. It had gotten him some mild newspaper time, but as more companies adopted the same policies, it fell to the wayside and he dropped back to obscurity. Applying those open-minded policies to his own life was something else entirely. Having gay friends didn't bother him. What they did behind closed doors was their business. They were just people to him; associates and friends he'd come to know since arriving in Kansas City. So why couldn't he accept it for himself? Remembering the way he felt when Murdock looked at him, he thought maybe he already had. 

So, when did he actually realize he was in love with his best friend; his male best friend? No one incident jumped out at him. Maybe it was a series of little things over time. They'd certainly spent enough time together for it to happen. But there had to be something that made it Murdock, and not Hannibal or B.A.. He smiled. Hannibal was too much a father figure to him, and B.A...he chuckled. B.A. would never have been his type. Too brash. Too predictable. Maybe that was it. Murdock's unpredictability. His own, for that matter. He'd had to think up a lot of schemes to break Murdock out of the VA over the years. Murdock always seemed to know what to do, even if he wasn't told beforehand that Templeton was coming. They connected on some level. They always had. 

His breath quickened as he remembered the feel of Murdock's skin under his hands. Their relationship was very physical, but that was nothing new to him. Templeton's relationships with lovers always started off the same. Fire and passion at the beginning, then gradually dwindling to embers that faded after time. But this time, the fire and passion weren't fading. If anything, they seemed to be getting stronger. How long had he felt this way, for his emotions to be this powerful? How long had he loved Murdock, but didn't acknowledge it? How much time had they lost because of his insecurities? 

Heart thrumming, he pushed himself off the couch and walked to the den. Murdock sat at the computer, trying to beat his highest score on one of the games. His fingers were tapping at the keyboard, long fingers that loved to dance over Templeton's chest with that same rhythm. Fierce concentration, focused to the point of blotting out everything else. He'd always been described as sensuous, but Murdock was raw sexual energy when he wanted to be. It was frightening to be the focus of all that power. That single-mindedness had gotten them in trouble from time to time, the outside world fading until they lost track of where they were or who they were with. Hannibal still sent teasing notes to them, ribbing them about their 'dedication' to each other. 

He shoved his hands into his pockets. He wasn't sure he liked this new label. Years spent on the run from a different kind of label had soured his temperament for them. Maybe Murdock was right. Maybe it didn't matter. What difference did a word make? And that's all it was; a word. Because of his good looks, he'd been called a sissy boy back at the orphanage. He'd learned to defend himself back then with humor and then when he got older, his fists. Then he started dating and he gained the other boys' respect. More than likely, it was their envy, but these were his memories; he could make it anything he wanted. 

"Faceman?" 

He looked up at the sound of Murdock's voice. Murdock had stopped playing the game and was staring at him, concern shining from his eyes. He'd always been concerned about him. Cared about him. Maybe the answer was as simple as that; no need to spend hours going over and over something that he couldn't change. He was who he was. He was with who he wanted to be with. And he was starting to think like Murdock. That brought a smile to his lips.

"Face, are you okay?" 

He realized he hadn't said anything. "I think I'm better than okay. I think I'm good. Maybe even fine." 

"Really?" 

He shrugged. "Time will tell, but right now, yeah. I'm okay." 

"Glad to hear it." 

He felt a sudden need to test his theory. He wanted to go out with Murdock. Wanted to be seen with him. It might be a perverse part of him, but he needed to see if anything was different. If he was different. "Listen, you want to go out, or something?" He absently waved his hand toward the living room. "Maybe get an ice cream?" 

"Are you sure you're ready?" 

Murdock's concern overwhelmed him and shame colored his cheeks. He shouldn't want to go out with Murdock to prove something to himself. He should go out with Murdock because he wanted to. "To be seen with you, do you mean? Murdock, it didn't bother me before. Just because I had a major mid-life crisis is no reason that should change. I still love you. I still want to be with you." He tried his best to smile. "So what do you say? My treat? I hear the mall got in a new shipment of rocky road." 

"You know all my weaknesses." 

Murdock's smile was so full of love that Templeton's chest ached at the thought that it was all for him. His voice rasped as he stated, "I hope I'm one of them." 

Murdock's expression changed. Desire clouded his eyes as he advanced on Templeton. The ice cream was forgotten as Templeton met him halfway. Murdock seemed determined to drive all thoughts from his mind and he welcomed the distraction. 

Later, as they lay lightly dozing, his thoughts returned. "That first time you saw me, is that when you fell in love with me?" 

"Oh, good God, no," Murdock exclaimed softly. "I thought you were straight as an arrow and back then, you didn't press your luck, especially in the military, even if you were thousands of miles from home." 

He teased a finger through the hair on Murdock's chest. "So when did you know you loved me?" 

Murdock turned serious eyes to him, studying his face. He reached out to place his hand on Templeton's abdomen, over a scar he received back in the mid 80s. "Then," he said solemnly. 

"When I was shot?" 

Murdock shook his head lightly. "Before that. But when you was shot, that's when I knew how far gone I was." He rubbed his hand in small circles over the scar. "I didn't think I'd ever get to tell you how I felt about you. I didn't think I'd ever hear you say you love me, neither." 

Templeton only had hazy memories overlaid with overwhelming pain of his shooting at the restaurant. He couldn't let Murdock get lost in the memories of that night. He covered Murdock's hand with his own. "Well, you lucked out. I just got in a new shipment of I love you's, so I have plenty to spare." 

The next thing he knew, he found himself crushed up against Murdock. He relaxed, understanding that Murdock had waited a long time to express his feelings to him and he didn't think he'd ever have them returned. He tightened his hold on Murdock and rested his cheek against his shoulder. Threat of death usually had a traumatic effect on not just the victim, but those who cared about the victim. While he was hanging by a thread, fighting to stay conscious, Murdock and the others were desperate to end the standoff and get him to a hospital. It couldn't have been easy, while worrying about him. 

He remembered his own distraction when Murdock had been shot. That had the added complication of Decker hot on their heels and Templeton having to infiltrate the enemy's camp. Their resourcefulness, and the fact that none of the MPs they'd sent after them had a clue that Murdock was actually an active part of the team, had saved their collective asses countless times. 

He'd outgrown Hannibal's "jazz" a long time ago. Truthfully, not long after he'd been shot. That had been an eye-opening experience for him, as well. Hovering that close to death and the weeks of recovery afterward, had left him with too much time to think. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. It had led him here, to Murdock's arms. He sighed contentedly and snuggled in deeper against his lover. He could hear the rhythmic thumping of Murdock's heart and he drifted to sleep with its strong, steady beat.


	7. The Next Chapter

He blinked his sleepy eyes and wondered why he was in the wrong bed. It took him a second to remember and then a knowing smile brightened his expression. He stretched languidly and rolled over. His hand hit empty air; Murdock wasn't beside him. He sat up and peered around the room. The screen saver bubbled merrily on the computer. The sun was high in the sky; it must be almost noon. Scrubbing at his face, he pulled on his boxers and got out of bed. He made his way to the living room, where he found Murdock cross-legged on the couch, watching the Cartoon Network. 

"Any left?" he nodded toward the cake that Murdock was eating. 

Murdock nodded, though his attention was on the television. 

He shook his head and headed to the kitchen. He cut himself a slice of cake, poured a strong cup of coffee and then joined Murdock on the couch. Their normal Saturday ritual had been interrupted by his slight –- okay not so slight – breakdown. But things were back on track now and he felt normalcy returning to his life. He polished off the cake and licked his fingers. He paused in mid-lick as he felt a pair of eyes on him. Murdock was staring at his mouth with an intensity that shook him. He sucked on his finger, letting out a light moan as he drew it out slowly. He pushed a few more crumbs onto his index finger and raised it to his lips, only to have his hand caught by Murdock. Eyes locked on his, Murdock brought Templeton's finger to his mouth. Templeton's heart raced as his finger was engulfed in wet heat, Murdock's tongue flicking against the tip. Teeth scraped lightly as Murdock pulled back and this time, Templeton's groan wasn't deliberate. He was tugged forward and his lips met Murdock's in a slow, sultry kiss that melted him inside and out. When Murdock started to push him down on the couch, he protested. 

"Mm, Murdock," he panted. "I can't. You were right about one thing; I'm no spring chicken anymore. And neither are you."

"Who said anything about doing anything but smooching?" Murdock asked between nibbles at his neck. "I just wanna make out like teenagers on this here couch." 

"We can't do that," he protested. 

"Why not?" Murdock mumbled into his neck. "It's our couch." 

"Good point." He splayed his fingers through Murdock's hair and pulled him down for a serious make out session. They teased and licked and giggled, just like teenagers, until Templeton called 'uncle'. 

"As much as I'm enjoying this, I do have some errands to run. My dry cleaners closes at three and I've got to get to the store. Did you want to come?" 

At Murdock's lascivious grin, he rolled his eyes. "Do you want to go to the store?" he phrased carefully. 

"I need to stop by the comic book shop, but that's about it." 

"I can drop you off, if you want," he offered. 

"Give me ten minutes to get dressed." 

He stayed on the couch and tried to collect his bearings. He absently ran his thumbnail along his swollen lower lip, lost in thought. No one had ever made him feel the way Murdock did. Who else could get him to make out like that? He chuckled. Trust Murdock to undermine all his safeguards and sensibilities with just a look or a touch. 

"Faceman, are you going to get ready or do you want me to dress you, too?" 

"I think I can manage, thanks," he replied dryly. He went into the bedroom and grabbed a shirt from the drawer. He felt something lumpy under the pile of shirts and pulled out a jewelry box. He'd completely forgotten about the ring. He didn't need it anymore and if Murdock found it...snapping the lid closed and slipping it into his pocket, he dug through his receipts until he found the one he needed. It was going back today and he wouldn't think any more about it. 

Templeton dropped Murdock off at the comic shop and then swung by the dry cleaners. He made a quick turn around the block and parked in front of the jewelers. 

He smiled brightly as he entered the store. "Good afternoon. I bought this, but it turns out the lady didn't like it after all. I was wondering if I could return it?" 

The man behind the counter took the receipt and box, then after a quick glance, shook his head. "Sorry, son, this is past ninety days. No returns. I can give you store credit, though." 

"Credit?" He glanced around the store. They had a nice assortment of watches; maybe he could find something for Murdock's birthday. He didn't have time to look right now, though. "Credit will be fine." He accepted the credit slip and folded it neatly into his wallet. After filling the trunk with groceries, he pulled into the comic shop's parking lot. He didn't see Murdock in the front room.

"Hi, Mr. Tempe," Keith called from behind the counter. 

He nodded. "Morning, Keith. Murdock still here?"

Keith grinned and jerked his head to one of the gaming rooms. Murdock occasionally watched the games, but more than likely, he had a stack of comics he was pouring through. Templeton found Murdock, sitting cross-legged on the table, reading the latest adventures of Spiderman. 

"Murdock, we've got to go. The ice cream's melting." 

"Just a sec," Murdock answered as he quickly turned the page. 

"Why don't you just buy it if it's so interesting?" 

Murdock waved a hand to a bag next to him on the table. "Already bought some." 

He sighed and leaned against the door, waiting for Murdock to finish. 

The ice cream was only slightly melted by the time they got home and put it in the freezer. Templeton watched Murdock put away the cans of food by nutrition group and smiled. Going through their normal Saturday routine had helped him tremendously. It let him see that things didn't have to change. He spent the rest of the weekend keeping to their routine and by Monday morning, he felt like his old self. The rest of the week was as normal as always. Not even a rainy Friday could put a damper on his good mood. When the intercom buzzed early in the afternoon, he answered with a bright, "Yes?" 

"Jonathan?" his secretary's voice shook. "The hospital is on line two." 

There was only one reason the hospital would be calling him. He grabbed the receiver and repeated, "Yes?" as calmly as he could. 

"Mr. Jonathan Tempe? Do you know an H.M. Murdock?" 

He gripped the edge of his desk, fear coursing through him. "Yes. What's happened?" 

"There's been an accident. Mr. Murdock has been brought to Baptist Memorial Center. He's in the emergency room now." 

"How is he?" 

"I'm afraid I can't give you that information over the phone." 

"What do you mean, you can't give it to me?" he snapped. Before she could answer, he snarled, "Never mind," and slammed the receiver down. He shoved back from his desk and was walking to the elevator before he heard Lea ask, "Is everything all right?" 

"Where's Baptist Medical?" he asked, his entire being focused on his lover. What happened to Murdock? How badly was he hurt? How had he gotten hurt? Was he going to be all right? 

Lea gave him directions and he memorized them, plotting out his route in his head. "I'll be there. I don't know how long I'll be." The elevator arrived and he impatiently jabbed at the button. It was still raining out and he forced himself to drive carefully. The roads were slick. What if Murdock had been struck by a car? Bus? Truck? Murdock wouldn't be stupid enough to be skating in this weather, would he? He steered his car into a space and ran through the parking lot to the emergency room. 

He wiped the water falling into his eyes from his wet hair as he scanned the area quickly. He headed straight for Admittance. "Please, you've admitted a man here. H.M. Murdock. I need to know how he is," he asked. 

The nurse on duty rifled through the files on the desk. "Mr. Murdock was admitted by ambulance roughly a half hour ago. Can I have your name and relationship to the patient?"

Ambulance? He'd needed an ambulance? He felt lightened. The room started to spin and he had to close his eyes to ground himself again. His voice was thick as he replied, "Jonathan Tempe. Someone called my office, saying that Murdock was brought here. How is he?" 

The nurse looked at him over her glasses. "Are you an immediate relative of Mr. Murdock's?" 

His frustration was rapidly mounting and he wished for one brief moment that B.A. was beside him, ready to knock some heads. "No," he growled. "I'm his friend." His anger wasn't earning him any points with the nurse, so he focused himself and calmed down. "Look, I received a call at work, saying that Murdock had been brought to the hospital. I don't even know what's happened. Can you tell me how serious his condition is?" 

She checked the file again and shook her head. "You are listed as Mr. Murdock's contact in case of emergency, but if you're not a member of his immediate family, then I'm afraid you'll just have to wait." 

They expected him to just sit and do nothing? "Wait? I can't wait. I have to know how he is. I have to know how badly he was hurt."

"Mr. Murdock is being examined by the doctor right now. As soon as we know anything, we'll let you know." She nodded toward the chairs. "Now, why don't you take a seat in the waiting room." 

A code blue sounded at that moment and the nurse ran to the patient areas. Templeton stared after her in shock. Why was it so hard to find out Murdock's condition? Was he seriously hurt? Too late, he realized he could have said he was a brother-in-law, though he wasn't sure if that qualified as immediate family. He just wasn't thinking clearly. Every spare thought was on Murdock and praying he was okay. 

The nurse didn't return and he was left with the other people waiting to hear about loved ones. Worry filling his every thought, he wrapped his arms around himself and leaned against a wall. He stared out the window at the rain, feeling as miserable as the day looked. His eyes traced the rivulets on the windowpane, until he felt the familiar pinprick of tears in his own eyes. He tore himself away from his depressing thoughts and got himself a cup of coffee. Minutes ticked by at glacier speed. The next time he looked up, another nurse was at the Admittance desk. Hope flared. She was a stunning redhead with green eyes; he could charm her easily. He ran a hand through his hair and straightened his suit before walking over to her. 

"Can I help you?" she asked pleasantly. 

He didn't have to fake his concern, but he tried to keep the desperation out of his voice. "Yes, you can," he glanced down at her nametag, "Debbi. My brother-in-law was brought in here less than a half hour ago. H.M. Murdock? I'd like to find out his status." 

"Mr. Murdock?"

"Yes." 

She studied the medical records and frowned. "Did you say Mr. Murdock's brother-in-law?" 

Templeton's stomach fluttered. He tried to remember what sort of information emergency rooms required for admission. He couldn't, so he took a deep breath and answered, "Yes." 

"Can I have your name?" 

"Jonathan Tempe." 

"Under emergency contact, you're just listed as friend." 

He didn't miss a beat. "We're very close." 

"I'm sorry, but I don't think..."

"Look, I'm...he's my..." It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he and Murdock were lovers, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't say it. "Please. I just want to find out how seriously Murdock's hurt. I don't know what happened to him. I don't know why he was brought here." He leaned closer and dropped his voice to a pleading whisper. "Can't you help me? Please?" 

She didn't look entirely convinced, but he was wearing her down. "I don't know." 

He poured on the charm. "Any bit of information you could give me. Even a reason why he was admitted. Anything. I would be so very grateful." 

She licked her lips nervously. "Mister..."

"Tempe. But you can call me Jonathan." 

"Mr. Tempe...."

He wagged his finger. "Ah-ah, Jonathan." 

She smiled weakly. "Jonathan, I can't. It's against policy." 

He leaned on his elbow and tilted his head at her, letting his hair fall partially over his eye. "What's a little policy between friends, hmm?" 

She hesitated a full minute. "I could lose my job." 

No one was paying them any attention, so he reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "They'd never get rid of such a talented, intelligent, beautiful nurse like yourself." 

Her lips curled in a seductive smile. "Jonathan, are you trying to come on to me?" 

He matched her smile. "What do you think?" 

She leaned closer to him and whispered, "I think you're trying to get confidential information out of me." 

Panic flared and quickly subsided within him. He sighed deeply and lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry. It's just...Murdock is more than my brother-in-law. We were in Vietnam together, in the same unit. I introduced him to my sister. He's the brother I never had. Surely you can understand the stress I'm under? My sister's out of town right now and I'm holding off calling her until I know something. What do you think she'll do to me when she finds out he's been in an accident and I didn't call her right away?" Her lower lip disappeared between her teeth; he was getting through. Time for the creme de la creme. "I just hope this doesn't affect the baby." 

Her eyes widened. "Baby?" 

"My sister is five months pregnant. I can't imagine the stress she'll be under, if I call with no information. She may even try to drive back from St. Louis today." He saw Debbi's eyes flick to the rain still pouring down outside and knew the moment she caved. 

"Have a seat. I'll see what I can do." 

"Thank you," he murmured. He could feel her eyes on him as he turned and walked over to the rows of chairs. It was nice to know he still had 'it'. Ten minutes later, he saw Nurse Debbi return. He flicked his gaze to the other people waiting, but no one seemed to pay him any more attention that normal. He got up as Debbi motioned to him. 

"Yes? Did you find out anything?" 

She rattled off, "He's been assessed as non-critical, and..."

He interrupted her. "What does that mean, exactly?" 

"His injuries weren't that severe. Initially, there was threat of a head or neck injury, so precautions were taken. Having discounted that, now he'll have to wait just like everyone else." 

He closed his eyes briefly, thankful it didn't sound too bad. "Can I see him?"

"I'm sorry, visitations aren't allowed in the ER." She glanced around. "However, I did take a peek in his exam room. He was awake and I couldn't see any major injuries." 

Templeton felt a gigantic weight lift off his heart. "I can't thank you enough," he stressed. 

"Just don't let anyone know I've told you anything. I could get in trouble," she hissed. 

"I would never jeopardize a pretty thing like you." If they were in a different situation, he would have kissed her hand at this point, but he settled for a sultry gaze. 

"I think you better return to the waiting area." A blush highlighted her cheeks as she turned back to her duties. 

With nothing to do but wait, Templeton made a call to the office to update Lea on the situation. He told her he probably wouldn't be back at the office that day and possibly Monday, depending on how much care Murdock was going to need. He then settled down in a chair against the wall and contemplated his existence. Hours later, he had a sore neck and back and was tired of waiting. The nurses had been out to see three of the people in the waiting room for updates on their loved ones, but no one had come out for him. With each passing hour, he grew more worried. He hadn't seen Nurse Debbi in over two hours, either. Maybe she went off duty and he was stuck waiting for Nurse Ratchet to update him. He caught sight of red hair and was on his feet in a flash. 

"Nurse?" he called as he reached the Admittance window. "Debbi, has there been any word on Mr. Murdock?" 

She seemed surprised. "No one's been out to see you?"

He didn't have to fake his worry. "No and it's been hours. What's taking so long? Were there complications?" 

She turned away from him. "Let me get someone to help you." 

He reached out to her, but couldn't reach her arm. It was enough to stop her from walking away. "Why can't you help me? You're already familiar with Murdock's situation. Can't you just, I don't know, peek in on him again? See if they've admitted him?" 

Her eyes raked his body and he felt uneasy under her scrutiny. "What if I do?" 

He laughed lightly. "I will owe you one huge favor." 

"Which you'll repay by taking me out to dinner," she stated as she leaned toward him. 

He straightened his tie and tried – honest he did – not to glance down at her chest. Oh, it had been a long time. "Dinner?" he said and he was ashamed to note his voice squeaked. 

"Jonathan?" 

He spun around at the sound of his lover's voice. Debbi was forgotten as Templeton's eyes took in every aspect of Murdock. The fact that Murdock was in a wheelchair unnerved him some, until he remembered it was procedure. His right hand was wrapped and he had a bandage over his right eye. Little cuts and scrapes dotted his exposed skin. His shirt was ripped, but it looked like the jacket had survived. His right pantleg was torn and his knee was bandaged. It didn't look like anything was in a cast. Relief flooded through him and his worry started to dissipate. Murdock was alive, he was breathing – and he was glaring at him. Some of that worry returned. "Murdock, what's wrong?" 

Murdock's eyes darkened. "Oh, nothing. I just bounced off a car over on 15th street." 

His eyes widened in fear. Murdock had been hit by a car. "My God, Murdock, what happened?" 

"I was crossing the street. This car skidded and I jumped up to avoid hitting it." He rubbed at his head. "Could we talk about this later? I've got a killer headache." 

"Is he okay?" he asked the nurse who wheeled him out. 

"He's mostly just banged up, though he's got a bad sprain on that right wrist We've got his leg bandaged for now. Most of the skin was scraped off by the asphalt. It should heal completely in about two weeks. The thing to watch for is infection. And you are...?" she asked belatedly. 

He was studying Murdock while the nurse talked, trying to put his finger on what was different. Something about Murdock seemed off. It might just be the traumatic experience catching up to him. He realized the nurse asked him a question. "Oh, sorry. Jonathan Tempe. I was listed as his emergency contact." He bit his lip. "Is he okay to go home?" 

She shrugged. "Sure. He's signed his release papers."

Murdock's voice sliced through him like a knife. "I don't suppose you could see your way take me home? I've been here long enough." 

He traded concerned looks with the nurse. She just shrugged and went back to the ER. He lightly patted Murdock on the shoulder and he felt Murdock stiffen at his touch. "Sure, sure. I'll bring the car around. Just wait here." 

He ran to the car while he thought. Murdock seemed distant, even antagonistic. Maybe it was the pain meds? He pulled the car to the automatic doors and jumped out. Murdock was already out of the wheelchair and limping toward the car. Templeton reached for the door, but Murdock snapped, "I got it," as he opened the door and maneuvered himself into the passenger's seat. 

Templeton stood in the rain for a few seconds, staring at him, then shut the door. He slid into the driver's side and pointed the car toward home. At a red light, he looked at his lover. Murdock's head was tilted back with his eyes closed and Templeton thought him asleep. Then Murdock shifted uneasily. 

Templeton asked quietly, "Murdock, what's wrong? Are you in a lot of pain?" 

He snarled, "They gave me plenty of drugs to stop whatever pain I might have." 

Of course he was in pain; he was just in an accident. But something else was wrong. They knew each other too well and Murdock's behavior wasn't right. He pressed, "Then what is it?" 

Murdock raised his head and glared at him. He growled, "Can we just get home, please? I'm wet and sore and I just want to lie down." 

Templeton winced at the harsh tone. "Sure." No more was said until they were inside the house. 

Murdock refused his help in getting into the house. He helplessly watched Murdock limp around the living room, wondering where Murdock's nervous energy was coming from. He didn't have to wait long, as Murdock laid into him with startling ferocity. 

"Do you really want to know what's bothering me? Do you?" His expression twisted in anger and disgust. "You looked awful chummy with the nurse back there." 

"The nurse?" His immediate thought was to the one who wheeled Murdock out, then Templeton realized Murdock must mean Debbi. He went on the defensive. "I was trying to find out your condition. They wouldn't tell me anything." 

Murdock ripped his hat from his head and flung it across the room. "That's funny, I could have sworn I saw you trying to see her navel down the front of her uniform." 

Murdock saw that? It was just a brief look; nothing more. A habit, more than anything. He licked his lips nervously. "I – I was trying to get information out of her," he explained. 

Sarcasm dripped from every syllable. "And I know how well you do that, Face. I guess you still have your looks after all, huh?" Murdock hissed as he removed his jacket and tossed it onto the couch. "So tell me, was it good for you?" 

He felt as though Murdock reached out and slapped him across the face. Tears stung his eyes. "Murdock, I was worried sick about you. I got a call at the office, saying you'd been in an accident and that you were at the hospital. Once I got there, no one would tell me anything. They told me to wait. So I waited, for almost three hours." 

Murdock showed him no sympathy. His voice became harsher, more cynical with each word. "You poor baby. Try being on the other side, Face. It wasn't no picnic flying over the hood of that car. I'm the hurt one, here, not you. So stop thinking of yourself for once and remember who you're talking to." 

He took a physical step back. He started to apologize, "I – I'm sorry, Murdock. I didn't think..."

But Murdock wasn't having any of it. "You never did think when a woman was around. How long were you trying to scam information out of her, huh? The whole three hours? Did she keep you entertained while I was trying not to move because every muscle hurt?" 

He tried to tell himself that Murdock was probably in a lot of pain and that's what was making him irrational, but the words still cut deep. Very deep. And Murdock wasn't done. 

"Did you enjoy it again, Face? Charming a woman into giving you whatever it was you needed? Did your breath quicken and your pulse race and that little thrill chase itself up your spine? I bet you missed that feeling, didn't ya? I bet you want to feel it again." 

"I..."

"What?" Murdock shouted as tears rolled down his cheeks. "What can you say, Face? You can't deny it. I saw it with my own eyes. I saw how you smiled at her." He jabbed at his own chest with his good hand. "That's my smile, Face. That's my look. Those were for me and you gave them to her." His lip curled in a sneer. "And I know she doesn't mean anything to you. I'm beginning to wonder if I do. Or if anyone ever has or ever will. Can you care about someone other than yourself, Face? Or don't you know what that means, either?" 

He couldn't speak. He could barely breathe. Afraid of what he might try to say, afraid of the look in Murdock's eyes, Templeton turned around, away from that accusing stare. 

Murdock grunted with pain, but managed to get in front of him and shoved his shoulder. "Don't you dare turn your back to me, Face. I've made excuses for you since the day I came to this town. I've been patient and understanding. Well, no more. It's about time you started participating in this relationship in ways other than sex. It's about time you started making the sacrifices around here." He walked off, heading toward the bedroom. He emerged with his pajamas. "I'm sleeping in the guest room. I don't want you near me, do you understand? Nowhere near me." He went to the other bedroom, slammed and then locked the door. 

Templeton remained standing, swaying on his feet and completely shut down. All his emotions and feelings were gone. Nothing existed inside him. He slowly turned and looked at his house – their home. His and Murdock's things sat side by side on the shelves. Murdock's tapes lined one wall. The picture of the Team resided at the center of the mantel. None of it held any meaning for him. He made his way to the bedroom doorway, but couldn't make his legs carry him any further. He stared at their bed and had a sudden flash of himself, lying in it alone. Murdock gone from his life. He staggered sideways and hit the doorframe, gasping for air. What if the accident had been more serious? What if Murdock had been in a coma? He clutched his stomach and crashed to the floor in a heap. What if Murdock had died? The thought, the mere thought of not having Murdock in his life was too overwhelming to comprehend. Broken cries caught in his throat, choking him. He'd taken for granted that Murdock would always be there. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to stop his body's shaking. But he was cold on the inside, where heat couldn't reach him. The fear of being left alone, without Murdock, rattled him to his core. The initial panic when he got the phone call, the frantic drive to the hospital, the hours of mind-numbing waiting which allowed his fear and worry to grow to exponential proportions, all of it merged into one, incredible, frightening moment and he cried until he was drained of tears. 

He sat up, exhausted and disgusted with himself. He deserved every word Murdock had hurled at him. To see such intense anger on the face he loved hurt him deeply. Far more deeply than he could have ever thought. Murdock was in enough pain already and he'd added to it. Again. But he was at a loss on what to do about it. He'd botched up his last attempts to fix things. He did not want to repeat his mistakes. He stared at the far wall, trying to think of a plan of action. After watching the clock count off a half hour with no progress, he sighed and wondered if it was worth the effort. Were all relationships this hard? Did they require this much heartache to make them work? 

He knew of one person who might be able to help him. He didn't look at the locked bedroom door as he left the house. 

He drove automatically through the evening traffic, made lighter by the pouring rain. His body moving on autopilot, he parked his car and walked to the office building. He punched the up elevator and waited for the car to arrive. At the floor to his agency, he flicked on the lights and headed straight for his office, locking the door behind him. He flipped through his Rolodex until he came to the number. His hands only shook a little as he dialed. It never occurred to him that no one would be on the other side. 

"Yeah?" a gruff voice answered. 

For the first time in almost an hour, he tried to use his voice. "Hannibal?" he rasped. 

"Who is this?" Hannibal demanded. "Face, is that you?" 

He bowed his head. "Yeah, it's me." 

"What's wrong, kid?" 

He studied his desktop, fighting back tears he thought dried up. "Oh, just, everything." 

Concerned flooded the line. "Lieutenant?"

He winced. "Please, no rank. Not tonight," he pleaded. He wanted to talk to his friend, not anyone else. He wanted to talk to Hannibal, the man, not Hannibal, the Colonel. 

"All right, Face," Hannibal conceded. "You want to tell me what's wrong? This is the emergency number." 

"Yeah, well, this could be considered an emergency." 

"What's happened? Is Murdock okay?" 

A flicker of pain pushed its way to the surface, but he ruthlessly beat it back. "He was in a minor accident, but he's okay. Pretty banged up, but nothing broken." 

"That's good to hear. It's also not why you called," Hannibal added knowingly. 

He toyed with the phone cord. "No, it's not. You see, I don't...know...how to fix things. He said...he was right...I did...like it..." He felt panic bubbling up inside him and couldn't hold it back. 

"Remember to breathe, Face. Nice and easy." 

He pressed the heel of his hand against his mouth, fighting for control. He sniffed and pulled back his tears. "Breathing is difficult right now, Hannibal. Murdock and I...we had a fight. Actually, Murdock yelled and I tried not to listen." 

"Because what he said was true?" 

Trust Hannibal to cut through the crap and get to the heart of the matter. "Every word. I let him down, Hannibal. He put his complete trust in me and I blew it. Again." 

"Let me guess. There was a pretty nurse at the hospital. You conned her into helping you get information about Murdock. Somehow, Murdock found out." 

How Hannibal knew these things, he'd never know. But he was grateful for Hannibal's insight. "He has eyes; he saw me flirting with her. And he was right. I didn't even realize I was doing it." 

"It might help if you told me what he was right about." 

Templeton looked to the ceiling, trying to keep the tears from falling. "I gave her his smile. His look. I didn't think about it. I just did it." He sniffed again. 

"You've always used whatever resources were available to get what was needed. That's why you were the best supply officer in 'Nam. Why should this be any different?"

Tears started slipping down the sides of his face. "Because I enjoyed it. I liked feeling that way again." 

Hannibal was silent for so long, Templeton though he'd hung up. Then his quiet voice came over the distance. "Face, you've loved women most of your life. It's only natural that you'd find a woman attractive now." 

He uttered a sickly sound that barely passed for a laugh. "That's wasn't all. We fought. We fought about her and about me. He was the one in the accident and all I did was whine about my worries and my troubles." His voice was filled with self-loathing. "Murdock's right; I'll never care about anyone other than myself." 

Hannibal was quiet again, then he asked, "Why did you go to the hospital in the first place?" 

"They called." 

"But why did you go?" he pressed. 

"Murdock was in an accident. I didn't know how badly hurt he was," he explained, not sure where Hannibal was going with this. 

"That sounds like you care about Murdock to me." 

"But..." he started to protest. 

"I won't hear any 'buts', Lieutenant," Hannibal snapped. "I'm speaking as your CO, now. You always were incredibly stubborn when it came to your feelings. You never did think anyone could care about you; the con man. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but we do care about you. Other people have, too. And you, my friend, have the ability within you to commit yourself to one person, if you just look inside yourself. I know that's part of the reason why you left the Team. You were afraid you would be alone the rest of your life. Well, you're not alone and you're a fool if you don't fight back." 

That confused him. "What? What do you mean, fight back?" 

"Fight back," Hannibal repeated. "Murdock got all riled up, didn't he? Threw things and yelled a lot?" He didn't even wait for an answer. "Then it's time for you to do the same. Show him you're willing to fight for him. If you do want him, that is. But I think if you didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation." 

He dropped his head to his hand and dug his fingers into his hair. "I'm so confused, Hannibal. I don't know what to do. I've never had to deal with this before. I've never had..."

Hannibal's voice was quiet over the line. "Someone you cared about so much?" 

He couldn't speak; just nodded his head. Somehow, Hannibal knew what he'd done. 

"I'll tell you something, kid. That advice you gave me about Maggie, at Christmas? It was dead on. I think you know what you need to do. You just need to acknowledge it." 

"I do?" he questioned. 

"You're a smart, resourceful man, Face. You'll figure it out. Now, go home and get some sleep. Maybe something to eat. Things will make sense in the morning." 

Doubts still filled his mind. "They will?" 

"Face, trust yourself. You know what you need to do." 

There was a click and then silence. Templeton replaced the receiver and stared out the windows at the vicious downpour. Everyone used to come to the A-Team for help with their problems. He figured if the problem deal with members of the Team, then it made sense that Hannibal would be able to help him. But he hadn't; not really. Trust himself? How? He didn't even know what to do. This wasn't something you made up to someone. This wasn't something you could apologize for. He'd violated a trust he took for granted and it was too late, once it was broken. Through it all, though, he knew he still loved Murdock. The question was, did Murdock still love him? Did he still want him? Would Murdock even speak to him? 

Maybe Hannibal was right after all. Maybe something to eat and a good night's sleep were all he needed. He grabbed some fast food on his way home, nibbling at it. He didn't have much of an appetite. When he got to the house, he threw most of it away. He hesitated at the doorway to their bedroom, but made it through to get a change of clothes. He plumped Murdock's pillow under his head on the couch and pulled the blanket around himself. Sleep came disturbingly fast.


	8. The Next Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frustration was making its presence known. "Murdock, this is ridiculous. Just ask me." 
> 
> Murdock's tone was belligerent. "You ask me." 
> 
> Templeton frowned. "You." 
> 
> Murdock pushed their hands. "You." 
> 
> He pushed back and snarled, "You."
> 
> Anger blazed in Murdock's eyes. "Fine." 
> 
> "Fine!" he shouted. "You want to get married?"

~~~

In the harsh light of day, things didn't look much different. The rain had finally stopped, though the sun was still hidden by gray clouds. The sky matched his mood. Murdock was still behind the locked door. As far as Templeton knew, he hadn't come out at all yet. He rubbed at his face, feeling old and tired. He thought back over their other fights – almost nothing compared to this one. He'd always manipulated Murdock into apologizing, or taking the blame somehow. Shame burned his cheeks. It was time to stop making excuses for himself. It was time for him to start taking some responsibility in this relationship. Yes, he'd flirted with that nurse. Yes, he'd enjoyed it. What red-blooded American male wouldn't? But it didn't mean anything. It would have led to nothing, too. He was more sure of his love for Murdock now than ever before. Even if he enjoyed flirting; even if he liked her, it was Murdock he came home with. It was Murdock he'd been worried about. Now he just had to tell that to Murdock. 

His stomach rumbled, reminding him he didn't have much of a dinner. Murdock probably had none. He got up and started making breakfast of pancakes and bacon. He popped a piece of bacon in his mouth as he set the table. He felt Murdock's eyes on him as he flipped a pancake onto a plate, but didn't acknowledge him. He finished that stack of pancakes, then placed the plate in front of Murdock's chair. He caught and held Murdock's gaze, silently asking him to sit down and eat. Talk. Hear him out. 

Murdock blinked once, keeping his expression neutral, then pulled back his chair and sat down. He poured a generous amount of syrup over his cakes and dug in. Templeton closed his eyes. At least he agreed to listen to him. He finished making his own pancakes and joined Murdock at the table. He cleared his plate, despite the threat of a tightened nervous stomach. Eating was also a great way to mask any need for talk, but now they were both done and Murdock's eyebrow was raised in question. 

Templeton wiped his mouth and tossed the napkin onto the table. "You were right. About everything. I enjoyed flirting with that nurse. I loved the thrill of conning her. I haven't conned anyone in a long time and I'd forgotten what a rush it could be. I wasn't checking out her navel, though; I was checking out her chest. You have to admit it, she had a great set of..." his voice trailed off as Murdock frowned. "Anyway. You were also right about my selfishness. I've always been selfish. It's not an excuse; just a fact. I relied on the Team to get me out of any scrapes I got myself into and that's the extent of my caring. The Team. You're part of that Team and I care about you, more than I've cared about anybody. You've helped me understand this other part of me that I didn't want to acknowledge, before. You've given me patience and understanding and time. Much, much more time than I would have ever given anybody for anything. Because you're a better man that me, Murdock. You genuinely care about people and things. I have to work at it. And I want you to know that I'm working, very hard, on caring about you. I've made a lot of promises that I haven't been able to keep, with you, so I won't make them anymore. I just want you to know something. As much as I enjoyed flirting, and as much as I liked the adrenaline rush of the con, I still came home with you. No matter the outcome of yesterday, I came home with you, because I love you and nothing is going to change my feelings for you." 

He couldn't have continued if he wanted to; his throat was tight. He swallowed some coffee and started to clear the dishes. This was the hardest thing he'd ever done; left his feelings out on the table without wheedling an immediate response. He was trusting Murdock to say whatever he needed to say, without any prompting. His hands shook as he rinsed his plate. He didn't think he could look at Murdock yet, so he brought the pans over from the stove and rinsed them as well. He didn't bother with the dishwasher; he felt the need to scrub something. It gave his hands something to do and his mind something to focus on. A hand on his shoulder caused him to jump. 

Worried blue eyes met tear-filled brown. Murdock let out a shaky sigh and then smiled weakly as a tear slipped down his cheek. He didn't say a word; he didn't have to. Templeton gently put his arms around him, careful of any bruising. Murdock's arms tightened around him and his head rested on Templeton's shoulder. Templeton squeezed his eyes shut, but a few tears escaped. He smoothed Murdock's hair and pulled back enough to look at his face. The smile was a bit firmer and his eyes were still bright with tears, but he looked better, scrapes or no. Templeton's fingers traced the bandage over Murdock's right eye.

"Are you okay?" he questioned, asking about far more than Murdock's injuries.

"I've survived worse." Murdock's hand rubbed along Templeton's back. "And yeah, I'm okay." 

His eyes searched Murdock's face as his hands lightly roamed over the body he knew so well. He had a need to touch; to make sure Murdock was okay for himself. "I was worried about you. I still am." 

"I know." Murdock swallowed hard. "I said some pretty nasty things." 

Templeton squeezed Murdock's arms gently, but firmly. "You spoke the truth. I wouldn't have it any other way. I've walked all over you, haven't I?" he asked, studying Murdock's eyes. Murdock couldn't quite mask the hurt before his gaze shifted away. It was just confirmation of what Templeton suspected. "I've ignored your feelings in all this. You've waited years for me to come around. Then you waited while I sorted out my feelings for Beth and Maria. Then you guided me through the trouble I had with my identity. I've put you in a terrible position, time and again. Yet you've been there, without asking for anything in return. You've always offered me comfort and assurance. I'm...tired of being the selfish one. You shouldn't have to wait on me. You shouldn't have to put your feelings on hold because of me." 

"But you needed time," Murdock protested. "I knew that." 

"I probably did, but that doesn't excuse you allowing me to take you for granted." His throat tightened and he had to swallow. "My God, you could have been killed yesterday. It didn't even occur to me until after you locked yourself in the bedroom. What does that say about me, huh?" He shook his head in an attempt to stamp down his emotions. "I have a lot of work to do. I'm still new to this whole relationship business and I've messed up enough times already. I know you said forgiveness is part of the package in loving someone, but I'll ask it anyway. Can you forgive me for being a selfish bastard?" 

Murdock started to lean forward to kiss him, but Templeton gently pushed him back. "No, just tell me. You always answer me with kissing or with sex. How about we try actual words this time? I can understand that language, you know." 

A new light shone from Murdock's eyes and Templeton could have sworn it was pride. "All right. I will be able to forgive you, in time. Right now, I'm still pretty angry. I know a lot of it was my frustration at having to wait so long for the doctor and my whole body was pretty sore. I'm stiff this morning, too." He squirmed just a little and Templeton loosened his hold on Murdock to a light caress. "I was angry with myself for not seeing that car start to swerve sooner, but at least I managed to get myself up high enough that I didn't hit the tires." He smiled sheepishly, the effect only slightly ruined by the cuts and scrapes along his cheeks and chin. "I dented the hood. Probably cracked the windshield, too. I've got a pretty hard head." 

Templeton watched as Murdock's lightheartedness faded to deep concern. Murdock reached up and brushed the back of his hand against Templeton's cheek and Templeton leaned into the touch. "And I couldn't see you. They didn't even tell me you were there. I was wondering if they called you and if you showed up." 

He smoothed back Murdock's hair in a calming gesture, but he knew that wouldn't be enough to settle Murdock. "Of course I was there. You were hurt. I wanted to be as close to you as possible. I tried to get back to see you, but they said it was against policy. I'm pretty rusty at conning or I would have just grabbed a coat and scammed my way back into the ER." He was tiptoeing around the real reason for their conversation; his flirtation with Nurse Debbi. He took a deep breath and explained, "I honestly was trying to get information about you from that nurse. She told me she saw you and she said you weren't on the critical care list. Until that point, they just said you were waiting to be examined by the doctor." 

Murdock shifted his weight from one foot to the other and Templeton wondered what was agitating him. He had a horrible though that Murdock was going to tell him something terrible, but the guilty look in Murdock's eyes left him confused. 

"I -- I have something to tell you, Face. I wasn't entirely truthful. I was angry about that nurse...but not at you. I was angry at her for flirting with you." He shook his head, frustration wrinkling his features. "That's not right, either. I just know I felt all funny inside, seeing her smile at you. I want to be the only one who smiles at you like that. And I only want you to smile back at me like that. I don't want nobody looking at you like that but me. I want to be selfish when it comes to you. I want you all to myself." 

Relief washed over him and he smiled at Murdock reassuringly. "I guess that makes me selfish too, because I don't want anyone looking at me like that but you, either. I enjoyed it, but it felt wrong at the same time. I'm sorry you had reason to feel jealous," Templeton murmured as he stroked Murdock's hair. A tightness started in his chest as he thought about how much he'd hurt Murdock. This had to stop. There had to be a way to make sure he didn't hurt Murdock ever again. 

Murdock's hand was distracting him; stroking in small circles along his back. "What happened to not apologizing?"

"Rules change when you're in love," Templeton argued lightly. "And I do love you, Murdock. You can't imagine the relief I felt when I saw you in that wheelchair, alive and breathing." 

Murdock gave him his loopiest grin. "Aww, Face." He wrapped his arms around Templeton in a hug. 

Templeton immediately pulled back as he heard Murdock hiss in pain. "Are you okay?" 

Murdock shrugged, but wouldn't meet his eyes. "The doc said I'm gonna be sore for awhile. It's no big deal." 

The white lines around his mouth told Templeton otherwise. Murdock was in serious pain, but was trying to hide it. "Yes, it is a big deal. Do you want to lie down?" 

"No, I'm not real tired." 

"Then go sit on the couch," he prodded gently. "Let me see if I can find something to help you." 

Murdock didn't put up much of a protest; he must be hurting badly. "All right."

Templeton rummaged through the medicine cabinet, finally finding some ointment he used after he worked out. It helped with his sore muscles, so he figured it would work just as well on Murdock. "Here, why don't we give this a try." He glanced up and saw Murdock stretched out on the bed on his stomach. It looked like he might have just flopped there. "What happened to the couch?" 

Murdock groaned. "I'm too stiff to sit down. My back is killing me." 

They both knew the best thing for Murdock was to work the strained muscles, but they also both knew it was going to hurt like hell. Templeton sat at the edge of the bed and stroked his fingers lightly down Murdock's back. "Are you ready?" 

"As I'll ever be," Murdock sighed. "Let's get this over with." 

"Okay." Templeton carefully tugged Murdock's shirt up under his armpits and he wasn't surprised at the bruises that formed overnight. It looked like Murdock was hit by a car. Biting his lip, he started to rub the ointment into Murdock's back muscles. He concentrated on his movements, applying enough pressure to do some good without adding to Murdock's discomfort. He doubted it was working. When he started on his shoulder, Murdock hissed. "Is that a bad spot?" 

Murdock's breathing was shallow. "Yeah. Must'a slammed it somehow." 

"Do you want me to keep going?" 

"If you don't, it's gonna hurt worse later. Just do it, okay?" 

"Okay." He worked as carefully as he could, but the little whimpers of pain Murdock emitted were tearing at his soul. When Murdock rolled over, Templeton tried to ignore the tears on Murdock's cheek. His eyes strayed to Murdock's chest and the deep bruising and scrapes along his ribs. Templeton felt tears at his eyes and shook his head. "I can't do this, Murdock. I can't hurt you any more." 

Murdock's grip on his hand was crushing. "Face, it's necessary. Come on, you helped Hannibal dig a bullet outta me; surely you can do this." 

"That was different," he explained with a catch to his voice. "I didn't know I loved you, then." 

Murdock's grip lessened, though he rubbed his thumb over Templeton's hand in quiet assurance. "I'm still that same person and this isn't exactly life threatening. I'm just banged up and you're trying to help me. How about you just do my shoulders, okay? Them's the worst." 

Templeton took a shaky breath and nodded. "Why don't you sit up, so I can get your shirt off?" It was killing him to see the body he loved so battered. With trembling fingers, he unbuttoned Murdock's shirt and dropped it off his shoulders. He rested his hand over Murdock's heart, feeling the heat of his skin. He worriedly searched Murdock's bright eyes. "Are you running a fever?" 

"No," Murdock answered thickly. He gently pushed Templeton's hand down his chest to his groin, where Templeton could feel...

Their eyes met. "Murdock?" 

Murdock's gaze was steady on his. "Doesn't matter how you touch me, Face. The reaction's the same." 

A flush heated his face. "I didn't mean to...you know." 

Murdock shrugged it off. "S'all right, Face. Why don't you just finish up so I can exercise some control over my body, huh?" 

"As soon as you're well, I'm going to exercise you into oblivion," Templeton promised huskily. His lightheartedness faded as he braced himself for what he was about to do. He dug his fingers into the taut muscles of Murdock's shoulder without looking at his lover's face. It was the only way he could do it. He was sweating by the time he was done, from the effort not to cause Murdock any more pain. He smoothed his hands lightly down Murdock's chest and licked his dry lips. 

He started to move away, when he made the mistake of catching Murdock's expression. His face was twisted in pain and his hair was matted with sweat that trickled into his eyes. Templeton put his hand behind Murdock's neck and helped him lie down. "Rest," he murmured as he placed a soft kiss to Murdock's temple. He made a mental note to check the bandages later that morning. He took the phone with him so it wouldn't disturb Murdock, then shut the door on his way out. 

His legs were weak as he leaned back against the door. He was more nervous than he'd been at the hospital, now that he'd seen the extent of Murdock's injuries. They were mostly superficial; bruises and contusions that would heal to almost nothing. But the physical pain Murdock was in, that's what was tearing him up inside. He'd never felt so helpless. Even when Murdock had been shot, Templeton had something to do. It was his job to acquire medical supplies to save Murdock's life. Now, he had nothing to do. There wasn't anything, really, that he could do. Lost in thought, he wandered over to the couch and sat down. They had bath salts for Murdock to soak in. After one of their more...strenuous nights, Templeton discovered a hot bath had helped with a pulled muscle in his back. The medicine cabinet held an array of pain killers. He might have to do a food run, but that should be it. Oh, and bandages. The nurse had only given Murdock one to change, but Templeton figured a head wound would bleed a lot and need more than one change. Of course, he hadn't actually seen how bad it was. It might not be as bad as he imagined, but it wasn't a small bandage. 

He heard the shower go on. Curious and a little worried, he got up and opened the bedroom door. He walked toward the bathroom, where he saw Murdock plugging the bathtub. "Murdock? Do you want any help?" 

"No thanks, Faceman. I think I got it. I just have to..." he struggled with removing the wrap around his wrist. "Aha, get this off, then I'm ready for a nice, long soak." 

He must not have looked convinced as he asked, "You sure you're okay?" 

Murdock glared at him. "I'll be fine. Stop you're worrying." He shooed Templeton out of the bathroom. 

Templeton stood near the bedroom doorway and listened. He wanted to make sure Murdock didn't hurt himself by climbing into the tub. When he was satisfied that Murdock was safely immersed in the water, he went into the kitchen to check supplies. He made a mental list of things that they needed and a few special things to cheer Murdock up. He checked the laundry pile and threw in a load of towels. With nothing else to do, he crept back into the bedroom, expecting Murdock to be out of the tub by now. But Murdock wasn't in the bedroom. The bathroom door was cracked open, so Templeton pushed it in and found Murdock asleep, his head resting in the corner of the tub. 

Smiling softly, he knelt by the tub and took Murdock's hand in his. His skin was flushed from the hot water and it was warm to the touch. His eyes roved the body that he'd grown to love. The bruising was showing darker now and the cuts and scrapes were an angry red. Murdock's right hand rested on his thigh, fingers dancing close to his groin. Murdock looked so vulnerable and it suddenly hit him how easily next time could be fatal. Next time, Murdock might not be okay. Templeton might not get the chance to touch him again or tell him how much he meant to him. 

"Face, ease up on the grip, huh? That's my good hand." Murdock was looking at him sleepy-eyed, with a half smile on his face. 

Templeton loosened his hold, but didn't relinquish Murdock's hand. Not just yet. His thoughts were still jumbled with images of what could have happened to Murdock yesterday. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." 

"You didn't. I'm looking like a big ol' prune anyway. I need to get out." 

"Let me help." Together, they got Murdock dried, wrapped in a robe and sitting on the bed. 

Templeton sat at the edge of the bed and rewrapped Murdock's wrist. His fingertips brushed Murdock's hand unnecessarily. He'd never admired Murdock's hands before. He'd seen them build things, toss grenades, fire M16s, punch guys out, even win at complex computer games. They also teased his body to pleasures beyond his wildest dreams. He was slowly coming to realize that he'd taken much more than Murdock's presence for granted. He'd taken every aspect of his lover for granted. 

Murdock's concerned voice floated to him. "Face, you okay?" 

"No, I'm not," Templeton choked out. "Not really. You see, I've been thinking. I know, not always a good thing with me, but hear me out. I've never just held your hand like this." He raised Murdock's hand to his lips and applied the lightest pressure to his palm. "I never took the time to notice certain things about you. Like the way you lick your fingers, starting with your pinky. Or how your eyes darken when you're angry or extremely turned on. How that brown sparkle can make me smile, no matter how bad a day I've had. Or that you really do hate it when I nibble at that soft spot just below your left ear, but the one on your right can set you off like a firecracker. You honestly like orange juice poured over corn flakes for breakfast. You have every Loony Toons cartoon memorized. You fall asleep on your stomach, but we end up tangled together when we wake up." 

He blanketed Murdock's hand between his own. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know you a lot more intimately than I did a few years ago and I'm not just talking about sex. I'm talking about the day to day things; the little things that can annoy people. I do get annoyed from time to time, but that's part of learning to adjust to living with someone else. For the most part, I think your little idiosyncrasies are cute and funny, and they bring a smile to my face." He smiled up at Murdock, but it wavered as he saw the tears shining in Murdock's eyes. 

Murdock's voice was thick as he said quietly, "I think that's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me." 

Templeton laughed lightly and fought back his own tears. "I'm not done. I'm usually one for complimenting women about everything, but it never occurred to me to do the same to you. Why shouldn't I tell you that you're the most compassionate, giving person I know? Why can't I say that the flecks of green and gold in your eyes could never outshine the fullness of your heart? Why can't I tell you that I love every inch of your body, from your ticklish soles to your slightly balding spot?" He said the last with a grin and a tilt of his head and despite the tears in his eyes, Murdock chuckled. 

His mouth went dry as he realized what he was admitting out loud. What he was admitting to himself. He loved Murdock with a singularity and depth that he'd never experienced before. When those women flirted with him earlier, it was nice, but he didn't feel anything. Not like he used to. Not when he thought it meant something. Now he knew something better existed. He had something special and he was only just now beginning to realize how rare that was and how desperate he was to hold onto it. Templeton clasped Murdock's tightly, took a deep breath and held his lover's gaze. "Murdock, a lot has changed for me in the past year. I've come to accept a lot of aspects of myself that I'd been denying. I feel like I'm learning who I am all over again. I'm learning who you are. And I think, if you were to ask me a certain question, you might get an answer you like." 

Murdock's eyes were huge as he stared at Templeton. "Are – are you telling me to ask you whether you want to...?"

"I am." He threw as much confidence as he could behind that statement. 

Even so, Murdock remained skeptical. "Are you sure? This isn't some sort of weird thing that my accident caused?" 

"Your accident just made me see things more clearly. I've muddled through our relationship up until now. You were right; I wasn't participating, not in the way I should." His gaze grew more intense. "I want to. I want us to be together. Just us. No one else." 

Murdock pressed his lips together and sniffled. "I think I'm gonna cry." 

"Don't or you'll get me started," he admonished, even as tears threatened. "Just...ask." 

Templeton could see the wheels working behind Murdock's eyes. "Why can't you ask?" 

He didn't think of that. "Well, I...I don't know. I suppose I could. But it was your idea, initially. I think you should get the honors." 

Murdock stuck his lower lip out in a pout. "But I want to hear you say it." 

Frustration was making its presence known. "Murdock, this is ridiculous. Just ask me." 

Murdock's tone was belligerent. "You ask me." 

Templeton frowned. "You." 

Murdock pushed their hands. "You." 

He pushed back and snarled, "You."

Anger blazed in Murdock's eyes. "Fine." 

"Fine!" he shouted. "You want to get married?"

"Yeah!" Murdock shouted back. 

They stared at each other in shock, then burst out laughing. 

Templeton struggled to catch his breath as he wiped his eyes. "Not the most romantic proposal, was it?" 

Murdock's laughter died down, to be replaced by a soft smile. "Face, I don't care how it was said, as long as it was said. That's all that matters." 

Templeton's face hurt from his wide, teasing smile. "So, was that officially a yes?" 

Murdock's gaze riveted him to the spot. "I was just going to ask you the same thing." 

The enormity of what they'd just decided settled over Templeton and his heart pounded in his chest. "Yes," he said thickly. "I love you, Murdock. So much it hurts." Tears slipped down his face as he leaned forward to kiss Murdock lightly. He started to pull back, but Murdock's hand at the back of his neck stopped him. 

"I feel the same way." Their mouths met again in a kiss infused with such heat that Templeton felt as though his soul was on fire. He stopped just short of losing himself in Murdock, mindful of his lover's injuries. When Murdock made a soft sound at the back of his throat, Templeton released him. 

"Mm, Face, that wasn't 'stop'. That was 'keep going'." 

"I know what it was," Templeton chided him breathlessly. "You're not up for this right now." 

Murdock rocked his hips, letting him feel his hardness. "Oh, yes I am, Faceman." 

Templeton protested, "Murdock, you were in a car accident yesterday. You're in no shape for strenuous activity." His hand stroked along Murdock's chest as he added, "No matter how much I want you." 

"But, Face, I'm needing you," Murdock pleaded. "Like now." 

"No," he stated firmly. "Besides, anticipation can make it all the sweeter."

"Anticipation makes me cranky," his lover growled. "How long do I have to wait?" 

Templeton ran his hands idly through Murdock's chest hair. "You'll know." 

"That's not fair!" Murdock wailed. 

He smirked. "All's fair in love and war." He leaned over and gave Murdock a quick, chaste kiss, then he got up from the bed. "Now, you need some rest and I have to go to the store to get a few things. Do you promise not to get out of this bed while I'm gone?" 

Murdock's eyes glittered with mischief. "I promise I won't leave this bed." 

"Uh-huh. Why don't I believe you?" 

His eyes widened into perfect innocence. "I don't know." 

Templeton sighed. "All right. I'll be back as soon as I can. If you do get out of bed, please, be careful? I don't want to come home and find you on the floor, twisted in knots." 

Dark brown eyes raked him from head to toe, feeding into his barely in-check arousal. "If I do, you know how to get the kinks out." 

A whimper caught in his throat. "Later, Murdock." He closed the bedroom door behind him and leaned back against it. He was contemplating the very long days ahead, when he realized he was still in his pajamas. He had to go back into the bedroom with a shirtless Murdock and get dressed. He groaned softly. 

"Hey Face, you having fun without me out there?" 

Damn his lover's good hearing. Squaring his shoulders, he marched back into the bedroom, grabbed what he needed and got out without sneaking a peek at Murdock. He took a shower in the guest room and got dressed. He went to the store and got the list of things he'd noted earlier, all the while with a smile on his face. Women smiled back at him, but he noticed something curious. They glanced at his left hand before they approached him. It dawned on him that they were checking for a wedding band. He felt a flush along his neck and was thankful that he'd put on a high collared jacket. 

"I'm sorry, but I just got engaged today," he informed a particularly bold woman. 

Her lower lip protruded in a perfectly glossed pout. "I'm sorry, too." She pulled out a business card and tucked it behind his belt. Thankfully, she didn't go any further than that. "If it doesn't work out, call me." 

After she left, he adjusted his collar. He felt like he'd been put out at the meat market as that day's special. He flexed his left hand, imagining a wedding band on his third finger. Would it feel strange? Would it be conspicuous? Would he and Murdock have matching rings? His thoughts once again on more pleasant things, he removed and ripped up the woman's business card and then finished shopping. 

When he returned to the house, he wasn't surprised to find Murdock sitting up on the couch, watching his cartoons. 

"Hey," he replied to Murdock's greeting. He put away the groceries, trying to make as little noise as possible. He left a little cake on the table. It was the only one with white icing, which he thought appropriate for what he wanted to do. He dug in the drawers until he found an old pack of candles and stuck two in the cake. He then poured himself a cup of coffee and waited until he heard a commercial break. He carried the cake in one hand and his coffee in the other into the living room. He placed the cake down in front of Murdock with a flourish. He removed his lighter and lit the candles, and settled next to Murdock on the couch.

"What's this, Face?" 

He couldn't stop smiling. "Well, it's like this. We've agreed to marry each other. I don't know too many people who would throw us a wedding shower, so I decided we'd have one for ourselves." 

"You're crazy," Murdock declared. 

"I know," Templeton answered perkily. 

Murdock grinned. "I love you." 

He answered smugly, "I know." 

They leaned forward and together, blew out the candles. 

"You're such an incurable romantic," Murdock accused with a grin. He reached over and tweaked Templeton's nipple through his shirt. 

"Oww," he whined as he rubbed at his abused flesh. "What was that for?" 

Murdock rolled his eyes. "Come on, Face. It was just a little love pinch." 

"I can think of far more pleasant ways to show your affection," Templeton countered. 

"Later," Murdock promised. 

"Later," Templeton agreed. He settled back on the couch and absently watched television. This was their typical Saturday routine, but he felt so different. He'd done a lot of growing up the past few months. He was responsible not just for his business and home, but for Murdock as well. He was more confident in who he was and knew what he wanted. He caught himself rubbing his thumb along his ring finger, and smiled. Yes, this was what he wanted. He wanted to be at Murdock's side for the rest of his life. Commitment, together, forever. Why wasn't he more nervous thinking those things? Those words used to send him into a blind panic, but now all he felt was a sense of peace. 

"Face, whatcha thinking about?" Murdock asked quietly. 

"Hmm?" He saw the concern shining from Murdock's eyes and smiled gently. "I was just thinking how happy I am." 

Murdock beamed. "Really?" 

He smiled curiously. "Why is that so surprising?" 

Murdock's eyes flicked between the television and Templeton. "Well, I've watched you struggle with a lot of stuff lately and I wasn't sure that you'd decide you liked who you were after it all. I was scared you'd decide that you didn't want me anymore. All this is a dream to me, Face. I keep expecting to wake up and I'll be back in LA and you'll be here, and none of this happened." 

"This isn't a dream. This is real. It's true that I've struggled with my feelings, but that's because they were buried deep, deep down. You helped me bring them to the surface. You helped me acknowledge them and in turn, I learned to acknowledge myself. I don't think I've ever thanked you, either." He leaned over and gave Murdock a slow, seductive kiss. "Thanks, partner." 

Murdock pulled him close and held on tight. His voice sounded suspiciously shaky and Templeton realized he was crying. Worried, he tried to see Murdock's face, but Murdock's grip was firm. "I was so scared lying in that ER. I was lying on that exam table, all by my lonesome. My brain went into hyperdrive, imagining what it would be like for you if I wasn't around. I didn't want to leave you alone. I was worried about you. How you would get on without me." 

He held tight to Murdock as he admitted, "I wouldn't have gone on without you, Murdock. That's what I realized while I was waiting to hear how you were. I just shoved it all down until we got home. I refused to think about it while you were back in the ER. I know that I wouldn't be the same without you. That's why...that's why I want to marry you. I can't imagine my life without you anymore. And that scares me. I've never needed anyone like I need you." 

Murdock finally loosened his hold, enough so that he could study his face. "You're not alone in that, Face. This is uncharted territory for me, too." He reached up and stroked a finger along Templeton's jaw. "Oh, Face, if only I wasn't hurting, the things I would do to you." 

Templeton captured Murdock's hand and kissed his knuckles. "I know, buddy. I know. But we'll have plenty of time for that. You just get yourself healed up." 

Murdock's desire was plainly written on his face, but it was slowly being replaced by resignation. "In the meantime, how about I start making plans?" 

He was still distracted by his thoughts and it took him a second to register what Murdock asked. "Plans?" 

"You know, wedding plans," Murdock explained. "How many people are we inviting? Should we get a two or three layer cake? Do you want an outdoor or indoor ceremony? What about a three piece orchestra?" 

He hated to put a damper on Murdock's enthusiasm, but he was still overwhelmed with the idea that they were getting married. Details were not something he was worried about at the moment. "Um, Murdock? Maybe we should just wait on the planning stages for awhile." 

"Oh, right. We still have to pick a date," Murdock stated reasonably. "What about this fall? Or maybe winter? Doesn't really matter; Hawaii is always nice."

He tried to keep up with Murdock's train of thought. "Hawaii?" 

Murdock's eyes sparkled. "Where else do you expect to get married, Face?" 

"To be honest, I haven't thought that far ahead. I'm still getting used to the idea." 

"I'll have to get a new dress, of course," Murdock mused. 

"Dress?" Templeton questioned faintly. 

Murdock didn't seem to hear him. He tilted his head and imitated a veil with his hand. "Do you think a veil off the face, or over, would be best?" 

Realizing he just might be serious, Templeton stated firmly, "Murdock, you are not wearing a dress to our wedding." 

"Why not? I looked good in what's her name's," he reminded Templeton. 

He groaned in frustration. "Murdock, this is a serious occasion. You can't wear a dress!" 

"But it's my wedding day!" Murdock wailed softly. "How else am I supposed to be a blushing bride if I don't have a dress?" 

"Oh, God," Templeton moaned as he covered his face with his hands. "Please, don't do this to me." 

Murdock arranged his hands like a cameraman framing his shot. "Just picture it, Face. You standing in your black tux and me coming down the aisle in my pure white gown, head lowered demurely. Wait, that won't work." 

Templeton breathed a sigh of relief...for all of five seconds. 

"I want Hannibal to walk me down the aisle. He's the closest thing I've got to a father." 

"Murdock, please tell me you're joking." 

"But, Face..."

"Murdock, please." 

"Face, you know I wouldn't do nothing to spoil our wedding day, don't you?" Murdock admonished. 

"Yeah, I suppose I do. You just..."

"Drive you crazy?" Murdock supplied. 

"Yeah. And I drive you wild." 

"Yeah." 

They stared at each other, the tension singing between them. They both sighed and turned away, disappointed but knowing they couldn't do anything about it. Murdock went back to watching his cartoons and Templeton watched Murdock. After about an hour, Murdock dozed off and Templeton quietly got up and went into the den. He snapped on the computer and downloaded his email. Last time he checked, B.A. had finally worked up enough courage to ask a woman out on a date. Hannibal had to tell him about that, as B.A. didn't want anyone knowing 'his personal stuff'. She worked at one of the shelters that B.A. frequently volunteered his services to. Sure enough, Hannibal reported 'success on the home front'. They'd been out three times since and B.A. was even smiling on a regular basis. That was good to hear. Out of all of them, B.A. was actually the shyest around women, so Templeton was glad he was starting to socialize more. B.A. had sent him a short note declaring everything 'fine' and to ignore anything that Hannibal reported as 'lies'. Templeton smiled. Among various other friendly emails, Templeton spotted a private note to him from Hannibal. As he opened the email, he shook his head. Would Hannibal ever stop calling him kid?

'Kid – I just wondered how you were doing. I didn't tell B.A. anything about the accident; it sounded pretty minor. I'm more worried about you. Let me know how things turn out. –H'

Well, should he tell Hannibal now or wait until he and Murdock had more definite plans? He decided to wait. They had a lot of decisions to make and they had to wait until Murdock was well enough, anyway. Plenty of time to let the guys know. He fired off a quick note to let Hannibal know they were talking things out, then closed down his email and glanced at the clock. Lunchtime already? The morning had flown by. He walked through the living room, past the still-sleeping Murdock, to see what looked good for lunch. 

The rest of the weekend wasn't so leisurely. Murdock pushed himself by doing exercises. Too far, Templeton thought and they fought about it. Murdock argued that the only way he was going to get better was to get up and do, while Templeton thought he should take it easy. It was a moot point on Monday, as Templeton was called into the office to deal with a crisis. Murdock grinned at him smugly as he got dressed. Templeton knew that Murdock was going to do what he damn well pleased while he was gone and it worried him. 

He cupped Murdock's still-bruised face and kissed him lightly. "I know you're going to do what you want, but could you do one thing for me? Please, be careful? I don't want my beautiful bride horribly scarred before the wedding." 

Murdock's lips twitched as he tried to keep from smiling. "All right, Faceman. I'll be careful. Your bride will be raring to go on his wedding day." 

He grinned. "Thanks, honey." 

"Anytime, sweetcheeks." Murdock gave his butt a pat to emphasize which cheeks he was referring to. 

They kissed again and Templeton went to tackle the latest setback that had befallen his company. They'd had a partial backup failure on their last computer crash and had to reconstruct two ads for that week's paper, not to mention recovering lost accounting, general data and other campaigns. He didn't get home until nearly nine o'clock that night, exhausted and bleary-eyed. 

Murdock sat up on the couch, dropping the blanket he'd been covered with. "Hey," he called sleepily. 

"Hi," Templeton sighed as he leaned over to give Murdock a quick kiss. "Did you eat already?" 

"Yeah, made myself some soup a couple hours ago. You?" 

"Not yet." He rubbed his forehead; a headache started to form on the way home. "Was going to see what we had." 

"You know, you could have called." 

"Huh?"

"Telephoned. Reached out and touched me. I didn't know how late you'd be. I didn't know you were still at the office." 

"I'm sorry. The server crashed and we had specialists in trying to recover the lost data. I completely lost track of time." 

"You're not the only one who worries, you know. I never know if you're just late at the office or if you were in an accident, or something." 

"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do? I'll try to remember to call next time." 

"It would be appreciated." 

They were both on edge, but Templeton couldn't stop the frustration he could feel bubbling up. He retreated to the kitchen, hoping that some hot food would settle him. It did somewhat, but he still had his headache. He rubbed at his temple as he put the dishes in the dishwasher. He just wanted to hold Murdock, but he was afraid of aggravating Murdock's injuries. What he really wanted to do was make love to him, but that was out of the question. His frustration mounted. 

He walked back into the living room, intent on taking a hot bath and going to bed, when he caught sight of Murdock lying down on the couch, looking forlorn. He had the blanket tucked up under his chin and was staring out at nothing. Guilt crept its way into Templeton's conscience and he detoured to crouch down by Murdock. He gently placed his hand on Murdock's shoulder, but got no response. 

"I'm sorry for snapping. It was a long, frustrating day. We couldn't recover everything from the backups. We're going to have to start from hard copy notes on a few jobs. That sets us back a week or two." He paused and smoothed back Murdock's hair. The bruising around the two stitches he'd needed in his forehead stood out darkly against his skin. "And I'm frustrated because I can't touch you the way I want to. I can't hold you and make love to you." 

A tear slipped down Murdock's cheek and he sighed. "I know, Face. I know. But I'll be fine in a few days, and when I am, I'm gonna pound you into the mattress." 

Heat filled him from the inside out. "You sure about that? What if I pound you into the mattress?" 

"Even better," Murdock murmured as he reached up to touch Templeton's hair. "I'm holding you to that."

"Ditto." He stared at his lover for a few more minutes, then yawned hugely. "I'm sorry. I've got to get some sleep." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "But first, I need a hot bath. I'm sore." He gave Murdock an apologetic look tinged with sympathy, offered him a quick kiss and went to run the bath. He looked at himself in the mirror. Dark circles outlined his eyes. He looked as tired and drawn as he felt. Too little sleep mixed with too much worry. He scrubbed his face, trying to stay awake. 

He hissed as he sank into the steamy water. It was just this side of too hot, but it felt good to his sore back. He'd spent the day leaning over computers, either trying to locate missing files or recreate lost work. He leaned back and closed his eyes. It felt heavenly. Some of his tension dissolved, but he still felt...unsettled. He craved Murdock's touch. Shifting slightly, he began to run his hand along his cock, just teasing at first, then with more concentrated effort. He bit his lip to keep from making a sound, but the soft splashes of water caused by his movements were harder to mask. He let his imagination run wild. The heat of Murdock's mouth edging him toward release. Skillful fingers dancing over his most sensitive spots. Rubbing, teasing...he nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt another hand join his. 

"You looked like you could use some help there," Murdock stated quietly. 

Guilt washed over him. It was horribly unfair of him to rid himself of his tension and frustration, when Murdock couldn't. "Murdock, I'm sorry. I just...I had to..."

Murdock silenced him with a look. "It's all right, Face. One of us might as well get some relief." Murdock's sure hold had him clutching at the edges of the tub. Murdock knew all his weak spots. What would bring him to climax fastest or what would stave it off. Thankfully, Murdock sensed he wanted it fast and hard. He locked and held gazes with Murdock until he was too close and he had to close his eyes. He cried out wordlessly as his back arched into his release. He nearly slipped under the water as his entire body relaxed. 

When he was coherent again, he became aware of Murdock swirling his hand in the water. "Do you know how sexy you look? All that learned culture gone, leaving wild abandon and need? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel, knowing I did that to you?" 

Murdock's eyes were dark with hunger and he felt an answer deep within him. He stood up, unplugged the drain and stepped out of the tub, not bothering with a towel. He helped Murdock to his feet and guided him to the other room. Neither said a word as Templeton undressed Murdock, then gently pushed him to lay back on the bed. He took his time kissing his way down Murdock's chest, taking special care around the livid bruises. This probably wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, but Murdock deserved release just as much as he did. He flicked his tongue along the line of hair from Murdock's belly button to his groin, then proceeded to lick Murdock like his favorite lollipop. He slowed down as Murdock hissed, but a hand at his hair guided him down. Down he went, taking Murdock deep into his throat. Murdock's volume was growing and he increased his efforts, using teeth and tongue to hasten his climax. 

"God," Murdock yelled, head thrown back, his entire body tensed with the rush. 

Templeton nearly choked, as he was so focused on Murdock's expression that what he was doing became secondary. He was worried he'd hurt Murdock, but by the half smile on his face, he'd say that his lover was doing fine. 

Murdock's voice was raw as he said, "Faceman, have I told you that I love you today?" 

Templeton swallowed again, finally able to catch his breath. "I believe you just did. Have I told you that I love you today?" 

"I'd say you just did," Murdock tossed back at him. He stretched out his hand. "C'mon to bed. I ain't moving until the morning." 

Worry crept into his tone as he took Murdock's hand. "Did I hurt you?" 

"No," Murdock said, but Templeton wasn't entirely convinced. "You couldn't ever hurt me. Not like that." 

Templeton snuggled up to Murdock and pulled the comforter around them both. He slipped his fingers through Murdock's chest hair, feeling the unsteady rise and fall under his hand. "You're hurting worse, aren't you?" 

"I don't care," Murdock answered stubbornly. "I wanted you and I got you." 

"Well, I care," Templeton argued. "And this is the last time until you're better." 

"What if I decide to take matters into my own hands?" Murdock challenged him. 

A wicked gleam lit his eyes. "I'll tie you to the bed so you can't." 

"Ooh, Face, I never knew you was so kinky." A yawn interrupted Murdock's teasing. "Guess that sort of ruined the mood, huh?"

Templeton chuckled. "Go to sleep, Murdock. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow and I don't want to spend it worrying about you." 

Murdock's hand rested on top of Templeton's. "Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine." 

Templeton sighed and settled under the covers, the day's events finally catching up to him as he fell into a deep sleep. 

Templeton kept to his promise and didn't touch Murdock sexually for a week. But he couldn't quit cold turkey. He tried to keep his touches simple and non-arousing, such as a pat on the arm, a quick kiss when he got home from work and a brief hug or two. His need was building, however and when Murdock went to the doctor for his checkup, Templeton waited outside nervously. He jumped to his feet as Murdock came out of the office. He searched his lover's face for a clue as to what was said, but Murdock's expression was neutral.

"Well?" he demanded softly as they walked to the car. 

"He took my stitches out; said my head's healing nicely. The scrape on my leg will be fine in a few days, too. The wrist will take longer to fix up, but it's on its way." 

Templeton grabbed his lover's elbow and steered him to the car as he hissed under his breath, "Murdock, what about...you know." Murdock settled himself into the car without a word and Templeton hurried to the other side, slamming the door closed. "Well?"

Murdock slid a heated look his way. "Home," was all he said, but the inflection Murdock used sent frissions of arousal through his entire being. He had trouble steering the car home, barely managing to get it into the garage. Murdock was out of the car and heading toward the bedroom before Templeton even had the keys pocketed. He jogged after Murdock, removing his jacket and tie on the way. He dropped the rest of his clothing and joined his already naked lover on the bed. 

"Oh, God, I've missed you," Templeton murmured between kisses. 

"Ditto, Faceman," Murdock whispered. 

Templeton couldn't help but be a bit cautious, as he could see some faint bruising on the flushed skin below him. But Murdock rolled them over, taking control with a determination that sent a tremor of fear through Templeton. 

"Murdock?" he asked faintly. 

Without a word, Murdock dove for his neck, sucking at that place just below his ear. He choked on a moan as Murdock spread his thighs, his lover's fingers digging into his ass as his hips were lifted. He wasn't prepared for the swiftness of Murdock entering him, or of the intense feelings that tore through him as they joined. Despite the savageness of Murdock's merging of their bodies, all he felt was pleasure; a sense of completeness that threatened to consume him. He gripped Murdock's shoulders as he arched his back into his lover's thrusts, demanding more, wanting more, needing more. He felt the force of his orgasm building, but dimly realized Murdock couldn't help him. Murdock was on his elbows, trying to keep pressure off his wrist. Templeton worked his hand between their bodies and stroked himself quickly, not wanting to prolong his agony any more. His mouth was captured by Murdock's at the instant of his climax. His moan was swallowed by his lover, his breath stolen, his heart shattered and rebuilt in those seconds...and then Murdock shuddered inside him. Thrust once more, deep inside. Shouted hoarsely. Collapsed on top of him, breathing hard. Templeton was lightheaded in his satiated haze and only dimly aware of Murdock's slick skin under his hands. He whimpered as Murdock slipped out of him and a kiss was dropped to his neck in apology. 

Templeton tried to generate enough saliva to speak. "That was...you were...God," he finished, unable to say what he felt needed to be said. 

"Couldn't help myself," Murdock replied breathlessly. "Needed you too bad. Think I overdid it." 

"Did you pull something?" he asked. 

"I'll let you know as soon as feeling returns to my body, 'kay Face?" Murdock promised as he rolled onto his back. He groaned softly. 

"You're hurt," Templeton stated as he ran his hands over Murdock's body. 

"No, I'm sexually drained," Murdock corrected him. "I just need to rest up and I'll be fine." 

Templeton had to admit, that was one of their most intense sessions. With a wicked grin, he said, "You better eat something, too. My turn is next." 

Murdock gave him a one-eyed glare, then closed his eye again. "If you do that to me, I might not survive." 

"Oh, I don't know. I think you're a lot stronger than I ever gave you credit for," Templeton said as he idly traced patterns on Murdock's chest. There was truth to his words; he did think Murdock had one of the strongest constitutions of the team, next to Hannibal. 

One of Murdock's hands came up to stroke along his thigh. "Want to test that theory, kimosabe?" 

With a shiver of anticipation, Templeton set out to exhaust himself as well as Murdock. 

~~~

Murdock went back to work that Monday. Templeton worried about him, back out on the street, but Murdock was waiting for him when he got home that night. "How was today?" 

"They didn't want me working all day right off, so I got to come home early." 

"A bonus for me," Templeton murmured. 

"I spent the rest of the day thinking." 

Templeton picked up on his lover's mood. Murdock was serious, so he settled down on the couch next to him. 

"Are you sure you want to get married?" 

No hesitation. "I'm sure." 

"Were you ready to set a date yet? Because I want to be healed up for our wedding pictures." He absently touched his forehead. 

"Set a date? I haven't really thought about it. I was more worried about you." 

"Well, now there's nothing to worry about. I'll just get myself all non-bruised and we can get hitched." 

Templeton smiled. "So, does all your thinking mean you're ready to get...hitched?" 

"Yeah, I am." 

They clasped hands. "I'll tell you what. You pick the day and I'll pick the rings. How's that?" 

"Rings?" 

"Sure. Can't get married without rings." He turned serious, himself. "Did you want matching or different?" 

"You're the sophisticated one, Face. Whatever you pick will be good enough for me." 

"Nothing is too good for you," Templeton countered softly. "When did you want to tell Hannibal and B.A.?" 

"I was thinking about that, too. I was serious when I said I wanted Hannibal to be there. Not necessarily to give me away, but to stand up for me. For us." 

"I'd like that. So, did you want to ask him?" 

"Do you mind?" 

He shook his head. "No. You go ahead." 

"What about a party? Or reception type deal? Think we should have one of those?" 

"I didn't think about it. Who would we invite?" 

"I've got some friends. I'm sure you do, too. Can we have it here?" 

"After we get back, you mean?" 

"Yeah." 

"Sure. Nothing too fancy. Just some close friends." 

"That's all I'm talking about." 

"Sounds good. But what about at the actual ceremony?" 

"I'd just want the Colonel and the big guy with us. They've been our family..."

"For as long as I can remember," Templeton finished for him. 

"Yeah." 

"Why don't you tell Hannibal that we'll let him know the date later, unless you've thought of one already?" 

"I was thinking end of July or early August." 

"How about the second week of August?" he asked, knowing it was Murdock's birthday. His forty-ninth, to be exact. 

"Really? You think so?" 

"What better birthday present can I give you, than myself?" 

"Oh, Face, that's so romantic of you." 

"That's me, mister romantic. I just want you to be happy. If you'd rather not on your birthday..."

"No. No, that's fine. If you don't mind sharing the day with me." 

They kissed languidly, the flames of passion cooled for the time being. "I can't think of a better time." 

"Whenever you're ready, go ahead and tell Hannibal and B.A. the date. I'll look into flights and a hotel." 

"Let me pick the cake?" Murdock requested. 

"For here, or down there?" 

"There. We've gotta have a cake on our wedding day. Once you get a hotel lined up, I'll contact them." 

"Sounds good." 

Preparations kept Templeton busy for the next few weeks. Murdock wanted them to write their own vows and he agonized over what to say. He spent every spare minute trying to find just the right words to say. He found himself a nervous wreck at the airport. He checked and rechecked the plane tickets as they waited for the boarding call. 

"Face, them tickets haven't changed since the day we got 'em," Murdock admonished him. 

"Like you're not nervous," Templeton snapped. 

"Hey. Hey," Murdock said gently as he turned Templeton's face to him. "Of course I'm nervous. You think these rings don't weigh a ton in my pocket?" He patted his chest. "But I know everything's going to turn out just fine." 

"Really? How do you know?" 

"Because," he answered with a mysterious air. 

"Murdock," he warned. "What are you up to?" 

"Me? I'm not up to nothing. But Hannibal..." 

Every internal alarm and warning went off. "What about Hannibal?" 

"He's got a surprise." 

"He doesn't." 

"He does." 

"Why didn't he tell me?" Templeton demanded. 

Murdock shrugged. "I don't know. He wouldn't tell me what it was either. Just said it'd be waiting for us when we touched down." 

He placed his hand over his stomach. "I don't think I feel so good." 

Murdock slipped his hand into Templeton's. "Don't worry. You know Hannibal wouldn't ruin our day." 

Templeton squeezed Murdock's hand reassuringly before he released it. "I know he wouldn't. It's just...I don't want any more surprises. I just want this to go as smooth as silk." 

Murdock leaned back in the uncomfortable chair and studied the ceiling. "Maybe he found me the perfect dress. I'm not happy with the one I packed." 

Templeton's eyes widened in horror. "You packed a dress? You have a dress?" 

Murdock stared at him in astonishment. "How else am I supposed to get married?" 

Templeton had trouble keeping his voice down. "Murdock, you swore to me that you wouldn't. You didn't, did you?" He searched Murdock's serious expression, looking for a sign that he was kidding. Praying he was kidding. 

Finally, after an ice age, Murdock grinned. "Face, you are so cute when you're losing it." 

"Don't do that to me," Templeton ranted under his breath. He was saved from further heart attacks by the announcement that their flight was boarding. He trailed after Murdock onto the plane, then settled next to him in the aisle seat. He folded his hands across his lap, leaned his head back and closed his eyes, waiting for the rest of the passengers to board. He was acutely aware of Murdock at his elbow, even if he couldn't see him. He heard the soft creak of leather as Murdock flipped through a magazine. It really had been a miracle that Murdock's jacket hadn't been ripped in the accident. Or that Murdock hadn't been more hurt than he was. A knot of tension at the back of his neck caused him to wince. 

"You okay?" 

Murdock's sixth sense about Templeton never ceased to amaze him. "Fine. Just a little jittery." 

"Nervous? Tense?" 

"Yeah," he admitted. 

"I've got an idea to get rid of all of that." 

"Really?" His tone expressed his disbelief. "And how do you propose to do that?" 

Murdock leaned in close, his warm breath ghosting over Templeton's ear. "Want to do a little hanky panky on the plane?" 

Templeton's eyes flew open and he stared at his lover in shock. "Murdock, are you out of your mind? We've got first class tickets." 

A devilish twinkle highlighted Murdock's eyes. "So?" 

"So, we don't have them alone," Templeton pointed out. The twinkle gave it away; Murdock was teasing him. At the same time, he noticed that his nervousness was gone. Trust Murdock to know exactly what he needed, even if he didn't. A slow smile crossed his features. "Besides, we're supposed to wait until our wedding night." 

Murdock stuck his lower lip out in a pout. "I forgot about that part." 

Satisfied he'd got the upper hand, Templeton smirked. "Yeah, well just remember that next time you want a traditional wedding." 

A touch on his hand drew his full attention to Murdock's face. Seriousness shone from his eyes. "Hey, Faceman, I'm only doing this once." 

A feeling of anticipation started in his gut, the sense that they were headed toward something. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Guess that means we better do it right." 

Murdock's seriousness fled, to be replaced by a sly grin. "Oh, we always do it right." 

The new, different tension Templeton started to feel went back to the place it came from as pre-flight instructions began.


	9. The Final Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plane touched down at the Kahului Airport and Templeton resisted the urge to clutch Murdock's hand in fear. This was it. They were really in Hawaii. They were really going to do this. Murdock must have sensed his unease, because he whispered, "Just pretend you're on vacation with your pal." 
> 
> Templeton hissed back, "Right. A pal I've seen naked; whom I prefer to see naked."

The flight was uneventful and Templeton found himself dozing lightly through most of it. At one point he woke up and discovered Murdock's head on his shoulder. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes again, content. 

The plane touched down at the Kahului Airport and Templeton resisted the urge to clutch Murdock's hand in fear. This was it. They were really in Hawaii. They were really going to do this. Murdock must have sensed his unease, because he whispered, "Just pretend you're on vacation with your pal." 

Templeton hissed back, "Right. A pal I've seen naked; whom I prefer to see naked." 

"That's beside the point. Just relax. No one on this plane knows why we're in Hawaii. Or Maui, to be more precise." 

His nerves settled a bit. "You're right. No one knows why we're here." 

"Exactly. Now, let's get off this plane. My butt's sore from sitting so long." 

There were too many people around or Templeton would have soothed Murdock's soreness with a quick rub. Instead, he just flashed his lover a looked filled with promise. "Just wait until our wedding night." 

He tore his gaze away from Murdock's as the flight attendant directed them to exit the plane. He and Murdock chatted as they walked down the tarmac into the terminal, but Templeton froze when he heard, spoken in a low voice, "Lieutenant." 

Fearing the worst, he turned slowly...and came face to face with a smiling Hannibal. After his initial shock, he broke into a wide grin. He registered Murdock's 'Whoo!' behind him and assumed B.A. was there to meet them as well. "Colonel," Templeton acknowledged with a nod of his head. 

The ever-present cigar moved from one side of Hannibal's mouth to the other as he studied the man before him. "You don't look much different from the last time I saw you," Hannibal observed. 

He gave a passing thought to listing the physical changes he'd noticed, but knew that wasn't what Hannibal meant. "You were right, as always, Hannibal," he said. "I did know all along what I needed to do." 

"This is a big step kid. The biggest." 

"I know. That's why we're taking it together." 

His eyes widened as a woman with dark hair walked up to him and placed a lei over his head. She then kissed both his cheeks. She grinned and stepped back until Hannibal could get his arm around her shoulders. "Maggie?" he choked out. He caught the colonel's gaze. "Hannibal?" 

"Face, you remember Maggie Sullivan. Maggie, Templeton Peck." 

Her smile widened. "John--Hannibal--has told me the story of your lives. Well, I doubt all of it was true, but it made entertaining bedtime stories. I hope you don't mind me..."

"No!" Templeton blurted out. "No, it's fine. It's great. Murdock! Look who Hannibal brought!" He turned and saw his lover still grinning at B.A., who had a lady at his side. He turned back and raised an eyebrow at Hannibal. 

Hannibal's grin widened. "That's her. They discovered they had a lot in common." 

"The same one?" 

"The same one." Hannibal raised his voice. "B.A., don't hog all Murdock's attention. He still has to say hello to Maggie." 

Murdock whirled around at that. "Maggie? Doc Maggie? Hey, hey!" He swooped in and caught her up in a hug. "How you doing, sugar?" 

Templeton shook his head and turned back around, smiling at B.A. "Well, were you going to introduce me to the lovely lady or do I have to do it myself?" 

B.A. scowled, but didn't comment. "This is Sharice. Sharice, this is Templeton Peck, but everyone calls him Faceman." 

"Well, only my closest friends and their friends," Templeton deflected. He offered his hand and his most charming smile. "It's a pleasure to meet the woman who got below all that repressed anger." 

She shook his hand, then rolled her eyes and patted B.A.'s chest, effectively holding him at bay. "He's just an overgrown grizzly bear. Lucky for me, no one ever tried to really get to know the real B.A." 

B.A. ducked his head and Templeton feigned a coughing fit to keep from laughing. Sharice was the perfect match for B.A.; he could tell already. 

Templeton yelped as Murdock grabbed him in a bear hug from behind and spun him around. "Face, isn't this great? Just like old times." 

"Yeah," he answered breathlessly. "Now put me down before I get sick." 

"Sorry, Faceman," Murdock mumbled as he set him back down on the ground. "I just got so excited." 

"It's all right." He lowered his voice so only Murdock could hear him. "Just hold that excitement till later." 

Murdock growled low in his throat and Templeton hastily took a few steps away. They'd refrained from having sex for a week and they were both getting edgy. The wedding was still three days off and they had to survive a master bedroom at the bungalow Templeton had booked until then. He sighed and surveyed their small entourage. "Well gang, Murdock and I have some baggage to claim. Did you want to stay up here or follow us down?" 

"We'll follow you down," Hannibal offered, much too cheerily. 

Warning bells went off inside Templeton's head. "What are you up to, Colonel?" he questioned. 

Hannibal feigned hurt. "Me? Up to something?" Some of his teasing faded. "I do have one more surprise for you. It's waiting in baggage claim. I don't know how you'll take it, or Murdock, so I just wanted to warn you beforehand." 

Templeton exchanged worried glances with Murdock. 

"Um, Colonel, what's you got for us?" Murdock asked. 

"I still want it to be a surprise. Just wait and see." 

Templeton followed behind B.A. down to the claim area, a thousand butterflies rooting around in his stomach. What had Hannibal done? Would it be embarrassing? Something big? A marching band? He wouldn't put anything past Hannibal. His eyes swept the claim area, but he didn't see anything stand out, screaming, "look at me". He started to walk toward the carousel when Murdock's hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

Murdock's voice was a mix of awe and curiosity. "Face?" 

Templeton turned with the pressure Murdock was asserting and stared blankly at the woman standing near the wall. It couldn't be. Then she smiled and he knew. "Amy?" he asked anyway, just to be sure. 

"Hi, Murdock. Hiya Face. It's been...a long time." Her dark hair wasn't as dark anymore, nor as short as it used to be, but her smile was the same. The first woman they allowed to 'join' the Team. A friend to them all. 

Templeton shook his head. "Amy Amanda Allen. I don't believe it." 

Murdock walked over and smiled shyly. "Got a hug for an old friend?" 

"Of course I do." She accepted Murdock's hug, but kept her eyes on Templeton. When Murdock released her, she met his gaze. "You're looking good." 

Murdock nodded and looked her up and down. "You, too. Wow, it's been...a long time." 

"A long time," Templeton chimed in. His feet finally remembered how to move and he walked over to Amy. "Years." 

"Face," she murmured.

Templeton didn't remember stepping forward, or moving his arms, but suddenly they were hugging, like old friends who met up after years of being apart. There was only one thing that was different about these friends meeting up; they weren't always just friends. They'd slept together once, though decided they would be better friends than lovers. Actually, Templeton was sure Amy knew he couldn't make a commitment to her back then and that's what she needed. But there had always been something special between them and Templeton felt traces of it still as they separated. 

"How have you been? What have you been doing?" he asked as they held hands. "Where have you been? I don't think I've seen your name on any stories in the past ten years." 

She tilted her head and grinned. "You wouldn't have. I spent six years as a foreign correspondent. Then in Tokyo, I met someone. We were married two years later. We have three kids; a boy and two girls. We're living in New York." 

All that was news to him and a bit of a shock. It really had been years. Her life had moved on from the Team. "But you gave up writing?" 

"No. I'm writing as Amy Akatsuka now." 

"I didn't know." 

Her smile widened and she playfully slapped his arm. "Don't feel bad, Face. You couldn't have known." 

"People, I hate to break this up, but the luggage is coming down the chute and we have to get halfway across the island to the bungalow." 

Trust Hannibal to take charge and get them all moving. Templeton joined Murdock at the carousel and they selected their luggage. Once it was loaded into the shuttle, they were off toward Southern Maui. The Wailea Sunset Bungalow was nestled between Polo and White Rock Beaches and the shuttle dropped them right at the door. Hannibal and B.A. had already been there a day, so they had already staked out their respective rooms. Templeton and Murdock dropped their luggage into the master bedroom, both of them giving the king size bed a longing glance. 

Amy explained she already had a room at the Kealani Resort just a short hop down the road, but they stayed up most of the night talking in the bungalow, trading stories about their lives and adventures. Finally, the conversation turned to the last few years. Templeton reached over and took Murdock's hand and gave a brief explanation of his feelings. 

"I've been searching for something a long time. It took a lot of heartache, hardship and soul searching to realize that what I wanted, I had all along. I just needed to open my eyes to see it. And that's why we're here, in Hawaii." 

"Maui," Murdock corrected. 

"The islands of Hawaii," Templeton countered and squeezed Murdock's hand a bit too tightly. That earned him a glare and he flashed a smug smile in Murdock's direction. "To get married." 

"I never thought I'd see the day," Amy admitted as she shook her head. "Templeton Peck, agreeing to marry someone." 

"Yeah, well, times change. People change." Amy's eyes slid to his, searching for something. Templeton had a good idea what and stood up. "Would you excuse us? Amy and I have something to discuss in private." 

"Should I be jealous?" Murdock asked as he dropped his head back, smiling up at Templeton. 

Templeton's smile wasn't quite whole, but it was enough. "Never." He placed his hand at the small of Amy's back and steered her toward the beach. "It'll be quieter out here." 

"Thanks," Amy said, crossing her arms against the night wind. "I guess you know why I wanted to talk to you." 

He shrugged. "It wasn't hard to figure out. Templeton Peck, playboy extraordinaire, is about to marry his lifelong male friend. Thirty years ago, it would have made headlines." 

Amy smiled and ducked her head. "I never wrote about anything personal; you know that." 

"I know." He reached out and squeezed her shoulder gently. "And I appreciated that you never said anything about us to the Team." 

She shrugged. "What was the point? What we did was between us, not between us and the Team. And we decided that being friends was more important than...other things." 

"Yeah, but those other things were pretty spectacular," Templeton reminded her. Seeing the look on her face, he added, "And they were two lifetimes ago." 

"Yes, they were," she agreed. They stopped near the ocean's edge and Amy reached up to brush a strand of hair off his forehead. "Who are you, Face? I thought I was the only other person besides the Team who knew you. Now I find out I didn't know you at all. No one did." 

"Not even me," Templeton said as he casually removed her hand from his face and held it between his own hands. "Believe me, I didn't know I had feelings for Murdock until about four years ago. And even then, it took a long time for me to accept them. Accept what I was. What we were. This hasn't been easy." 

"No, it hasn't. I can see that." He frowned and tilted his head in question. She elaborated, "Your eyes. They used to hide every thought and emotion you had. Now they're like open books. I can read you perfectly." 

"Oh, great. I'll have psychics chasing me down the streets, demanding to see into my soul," he joked to lighten the mood. 

Amy wasn't having any of it. "You really love him, don't you?" she asked quietly. 

"As much as any one person can love another," he answered just as quietly. 

She shook her head, but a smirk lighted her face. "This is going to take some getting used to. Even after Hannibal explained what happened, I refused to believe. Seeing you...seeing you and Murdock together, really brought it home." 

He squeezed her hand. "Are you okay with it? We really haven't run into any problems with our friends, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." 

"It's a little weird, seeing you two together. You haven't really done anything, though. Hardly any touching, let alone kissing or any other sort of affection." 

"Ah, yeah, about that," Templeton started to explain. "You see, Murdock wanted a traditional wedding, which included..."

"Face? Face," she interrupted him. "I think I get the picture. The less physical, the less temptation?"

A flush crept up his neck. "Yeah." 

She laughed. "Mike and I tried that before our wedding. We lasted four days." 

He smiled easily. "Now I don't feel so bad. We're on day eight." 

"Really? Mr. Libido has learned control?" she teased. 

"I don't have the problem. Murdock does. Once he gets it in his head he wants something, no matter what it is, he wants it." His eyes widened as he realized what he was saying. "And you really didn't need to know that much about our love life. I'm sorry." 

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be sorry. I think it's adorable. And I can see how happy you are. Truly happy. I even think you realize how rare that is." 

He released her hands and brought her against him for a hug. "I'm glad you're here. You were the only other person we trusted, besides ourselves." He released her and took a step back. 

Tears shone in her eyes. "That means a lot to me, Face. It always did." 

He tucked her arm through his and they headed back to the bungalow. "So, you got any pictures of those kids we can gush over?" he asked, causing her to laugh again. 

When they got back inside, Amy flipped through her wallet and showed off her children. Before too long, they noticed it was getting light outside. B.A. and Maggie were dozing and the rest could barely keep their eyes open. They set up the couch for Amy to crash on, then they all went to their respective rooms. 

Templeton yawned hugely as he slipped into bed and curled up next to Murdock. 

"Face?"

"Mmm," Templeton answered, just wanting to sleep. 

"What did you and Amy have to talk about that the rest of us couldn't hear?" 

"Murdock, I don't want to get into this now. I'm tired." 

"I can't sleep, Face. I know you're keeping something from me." 

He was wide awake at that. He buried his head in the pillow. "Ah, hell. Murdock, it happened so long ago and we swore we wouldn't say anything about it to the Team." 

"You mean you have secrets from me?" 

He sighed. "One, I suppose. I haven't thought about it in years. It's ancient history." 

"So what is it? If it's ancient history, it won't matter, will it?" 

He rolled over to glare at Murdock in the dark. "Damn it, Murdock, I promised. I don't want to break that promise now. Can't you just trust me that it doesn't matter?" 

"I do trust you, Face. But my mind won't stop thinking about it. It's going to worry it like a bone until I have an answer." 

Templeton knew Murdock would keep at this until he had an answer. "If I tell you, do you swear that you won't freak out on me?" 

"All right. It isn't something bad, is it?" 

"No, it's not bad. Just, please try to remember, this was over..." he did a quick calculation, "Seventeen years ago. Amy and I...we were more than friends, once. Just once. We both decided staying friends was more important." 

Murdock remained quiet for a long time and Templeton worried that his lover was upset. Then Murdock asked softly, "Did you sleep with Tawnia, too?" 

"No," he answered. "I never had any desire to, really." 

"So Amy was something special." 

"Murdock, tell me you aren't jealous. Murdock?" 

"No, no I'm not, Face. It's just...Amy was part of the Team. I didn't know you had feelings for any other member but me." 

"Hey." He reached over and took Murdock's hand in his. "I didn't know I had feelings for you back then. I was still firmly in my playboy mindset. I started out thinking of Amy as just another conquest, but it turned out I really cared for her. That's why we decided to stay friends. Sex would have ruined things between us. It would have thrown the balance of the Team off. I think you realized that, too, or else you would have made a pass at me sooner. Am I right?" 

"I didn't – I didn't say nothing to you because you weren't ready. You weren't ready when I kissed you, neither, but I couldn't wait any longer. I could tell you was serious about leaving and wouldn't get another chance." 

He could tell Murdock was slipping into his mental defenses, so Templeton leaned over and gave him a slow, deep kiss. "I'm ready now. In two days, we're getting married. I think that pretty much cements who I love." 

"Do you mean it, Face?" 

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't." He slid down the bed until his head rested against Murdock's heart and he fell asleep listening to its steady rhythm. 

~~~

They didn't get up until after one in the afternoon the next day. Jetlag wasn't as severe since they stayed up all night, but Templeton still felt a bit sluggish. He and Murdock decided to check out the area shops for anything they might need for the reception. It was going to be a small affair in the bungalow, with just the Team and their immediate guests. Intimate friends. 

Murdock went to check on the cake, while Templeton waited for him outside. The ocean breeze was warm and salt-tinged and he filled his lungs with it. It was one thing he missed about living in the Midwest; the ocean. He sensed someone walking up to him and turned with a smile as Hannibal joined him. 

"Pretty spectacular sight, eh?" 

"It always was. It sure has changed, though, from when we were here. Hasn't it?" 

"No, Lieutenant. The beaches and oceans are timeless. It is you who have changed. It looks different to you because your perceptions have changed." 

"Hannibal, don't start waxing philosophical on me." 

Hannibal grinned around his cigar. "Sorry, kid. It's just that I've been doing a lot of thinking, too." 

"Really? And what has the great Colonel Smith been thinking about?" Templeton asked with a smile. 

"Oh, life, existence, the nature of things." 

"Companionship?" 

"Yeah." 

"How are you and Maggie doing, really? You haven't mentioned her much in your emails." 

"After I got back to LA, I went to her place and we had a long talk." 

"You had a fight, you mean." 

"Yeah, that too. But what a way to make up," Hannibal sighed. "We agreed that we'd take whatever we could get and not worry about commitment. It's worked great so far." 

"Are either of you seeing anyone else?" 

"I'm not and I don't think Maggie is. I don't know for sure, though." 

Templeton turned to Hannibal and clapped him on the back. "Congratulations. You're in a relationship." A look of such horror crossed Hannibal's features that Templeton cracked up. 

"And just what is so funny, Lieutenant?" Hannibal demanded with an injured air about him. 

It took Templeton a few minutes to catch his breath. "Colonel, you are the only other person in my entire life who had more fear of the big 'R' than me. And now, look at us. I'm about to get married and you're all but married." 

"At least Maggie came to her senses and refused to marry me." 

"You never know. She may change her mind. The Hawaiian Islands are known to be just a little on the romantic side." 

"Face," Hannibal cautioned. 

Templeton just grinned. He caught sight of Murdock heading toward them and waved to him. "If you'll excuse us, we're going shopping. See you later." 

"Later Lieutenant. Captain." 

"Hey, Hannibal. Catch ya later!" Murdock called out and waved. 

Templeton joined Murdock and they strolled the sandy paths to the small village. They picked up a few little trinkets to take back with them, some supplies and a few other things they needed for the reception. They grabbed a quick dinner at a little restaurant, then returned to the bungalow late. B.A. and Sharice were still out, as neither had ever been to the islands. Hannibal and Maggie were just getting ready for bed, so Templeton and Murdock said their goodnights and retired to their own room. 

The next day, Templeton's stomach fluttered nervously. Today was the day they were going to meet with the minister and arrange the details of the ceremony. In their walk the previous day, Murdock had pointed out a spot that he wanted the ceremony to be performed. It was on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Waves crashed against the jagged rocks, creating a symphony of sound. It was a gorgeous spot and Templeton agreed it was perfect. They weren't sure how to get to the top, but any of the locals should be able to point it out. 

The minister turned out to be a friendly woman about their age, named Kepola Nakamura. She greeted them with a warm smile and some of Templeton's nerves settled. She asked how long they'd known each other and if they were sure this was the right step for them, normal things as far as Templeton could guess. 

Murdock was full of questions, so Templeton let him do most of the talking. He smiled as Murdock recounted how they met, their friendship over the years, skimming briefly over their time on the run, turning it into something less criminally inclined. Murdock skipped most of the details of their relationship, only telling the minister enough to satisfy her that they were aware of the seriousness and enormity of what they were planning to do. Templeton was all too aware; it weighed on him even as they discussed it. He'd only ever said the vows once before, in the line of duty, to someone he didn't even know. This time...this time it was for keeps. This time he wanted it. 

Now Murdock and Nakamura were discussing details, like where to have the ceremony, who would attend, what they wanted said by her and if they were going to declare their own vows. Templeton had already arranged a photographer to meet at the minister's parish the next day, so he could follow them to the location. Everything else was kept very simple. No other guests but the Team, no music, nothing fancy at all. Just nature and the two of them. 

He sat up as he realized the minister asked him a question. He presented the required paperwork and he and Murdock filled out the necessary papers for the next day. His hand shook as he held the pen. He concentrated on signing his name, but his hand wouldn't quit shaking. A light touch on his thigh drew his attention. Murdock was staring at him, concern and understanding shining from his eyes. His hand steadied and he signed his name with a flourish. Murdock gave his thigh a squeeze, then released him. Templeton smiled at his lover and watched as Murdock signed his own name. He shook his head lightly as he remembered how long it took until he learned Murdock's real name. There wasn't anything wrong with it and it certainly wasn't as strange as Templeton Peck, but Murdock being Murdock, he chose what others called him. 

Minister Nakamura placed their papers in a folder and asked if they wanted a rehearsal before the actual ceremony. Templeton looked to Murdock, who shrugged lightly. 

Templeton answered, "I don't think we need a rehearsal. We just want a simple ceremony, overlooking the cliff we described to you." 

"I know the cliffs which you described; the walk to reach them is a considerable one. We should leave about an hour before you wish the ceremony to begin." 

"That's fine. Is one o'clock okay to meet, then?" 

She stood up and extended her hand. "Tomorrow at one." She smiled at them both. "You said you had friends to accompany you?" 

"Yes. Five. They'll also serve as witnesses." 

"Good. I will see you tomorrow then." 

They bid their good-byes and strolled along the street. 

Murdock spun around in a slow circle as he walked, taking in the lush scenery. "Well, that's done. Now what?" 

Templeton grabbed Murdock's hand. "Now, we enjoy the rest of today. We're in Maui; let's hit the beach." 

"The beach works for me," Murdock exclaimed and they raced back to the bungalow to change. Templeton grabbed a few towels while Murdock packed a small bag with necessities and they walked the few feet to the white sand from their doorstep. Templeton spread out the towels while Murdock applied a stripe of white sunscreen to his nose. 

"Murdock, that looks silly," Templeton said. 

"You say that now, oh fair skinned one," Murdock intoned as he settled his ever-present baseball cap on his head. "But it is I who will not be sunburned for our wedding pictures." 

"Sunburned?" Templeton had a light tan, but in the intense sun, it was possible he could burn. He extended his hand without a word and Murdock placed the tube into his hand. 

"Want me to rub some of the other stuff onto your back? Or were you going to lie on your back?" 

Templeton squinted up at the intensely shining sun and then at their surroundings. Very few couples were on their stretch of beach. He finished applying the special sunblock to his nose, then rolled onto his stomach. He shot a flirtatious glance to Murdock, daring him to touch him. 

With a raised eyebrow, Murdock flipped the cap off the bottle of sunscreen and squirted a large dollop between Templeton's shoulderblades. 

"Hey, that's cold!" Templeton protested and tried to turn over. 

Murdock knelt over him, blocking him from moving. The heat of the sun was nothing compared to the fire in Murdock's eyes. Templeton rolled onto his stomach without a word, his blood racing through his veins. This was going to be harder than he thought. He still had a little over 24 hours until he could make love to Murdock again. His body already sang with his lover's closeness; what would happen when Murdock touched him? A moan escaped him as Murdock's hands began a sensual trail across his skin, leaving paths of fire in their wake. Every inch of him tingled as Murdock continued to massage the sunscreen into his back. Fingertips grazed his ticklish sides, making him squirm. Those same fingers ghosted across his shoulders, down his biceps, their pressure and determination screaming "Mine". Templeton was breathing unevenly as desire flared through him. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to gain some control over his reactions...but it had been too long. In a move that would have made his drill sergeant proud, he rolled over, taking Murdock with him as he latched his mouth onto Murdock's. He pressed his full body against his lover's, letting Murdock know how much his touch aroused him. Murdock's fingers grabbed hold of his hair and pulled him closer, his other hand sliding over his swimming trunks. Templeton's hips bucked involuntarily and a shudder went through them both. Templeton rolled them sideways and eased back, trying to catch his breath. He felt like he'd just jumped off a runaway train. "Murdock, we can't," he hissed desperately. 

"I don't care about tradition anymore, Face. I'm needing you real bad," Murdock answered huskily. 

"We've made it this far, Murdock," he pointed out. "Twenty-four more hours. That's all we have to get through." 

"An eternity," Murdock grumbled as he licked at Templeton's neck. 

Templeton groaned and lost himself for a moment. Then he firmly, but gently, pushed his lover back. "Murdock, I don't want you to regret this." 

"How can I regret making love to you?" Murdock asked plaintively. 

Templeton hissed as a jolt of arousal pulsed through his groin. He closed his eyes and tried to steady himself. "Murdock, if you want to, I'm more than willing. But you wanted to wait until our wedding night. Tomorrow night. Do you really want to spoil the anticipation we've built up?" 

He watched Murdock's Adam's apple bob in his throat as he swallowed. "No. You're right, Face. We're this close. I can wait until tomorrow." 

He tried to squelch his disappointment. One small part of him was hoping Murdock's willpower would be weaker than his own. "You're sure?" 

Murdock took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm sure." 

"So, how far can we go before we can't stop?" Templeton asked. "Because I want to rub some lotion on your back, but I don't want to...you know." 

"I think I can handle that, Face." Murdock lay down on one of the towels, resting his head on his crossed arms.

With the broad expanse of Murdock's back laid out before him, Templeton wasn't sure he could handle it. With the utmost restraint, he applied the sunscreen to Murdock's back, keeping his thoughts on unerotic things. He finished as quickly as he could and lay back on the sand, trying to calm his racing heart. Even thinking of being stationed in Antarctica hadn't helped. But he did it. He closed his eyes and let the sun beat down on him, warming his skin even further, imagining it was Murdock's touch. 

Some time later, he blinked his eyes and shaded them with his hands from the sun. The sun was much lower in the sky and the wind had picked up. How long had he been asleep? He rolled over and patted Murdock's shoulder. "C'mon, Murdock, let's go inside." 

"Face! Murdock, you guys coming inside?" Hannibal's voice carried to them from the bungalow. 

Murdock grumbled and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Right there," he mumbled as he pushed himself to his feet. 

Templeton grabbed their bag while Murdock rolled up the towels. When they reached the doorway, Hannibal ushered them into their room. 

"Hurry up and get dressed. We're going to be late." 

"Late for what?" Templeton asked. 

"Why, Lieutenant, you didn't think I'd let two of my men get married without a bachelor party, did you?" Hannibal replied with a wicked grin. 

Templeton was wide awake at that. "Bachelor party? Hannibal, you can't be serious." 

Hannibal's smile widened. "Oh, but I can. Now, hurry up. B.A.'s going to be here with the car any minute." 

Murdock tugged at his arm. "Come on, Face, it'll be fun. Just think, our own bachelor party! I've always wanted one." 

He allowed himself to be pulled into the master bedroom, thinking over Hannibal's plan. A bachelor party the night before their wedding. A slow grin spread across his face and he hurriedly changed. 

Three hours later, good food and liquor in his belly and a good cigar in his hand, he was having the time of his life. B.A. had driven them to a line of clubs and they'd started at the nearest one and worked their way down. Hula dancers and not so hula dancers graced the stages, their glasses were never empty and Murdock even managed to coax one of the dancers off the stage to dance with him. After the third time, though, Templeton's jealousy flared. 

"Murdock," he called, semi-drunkenly. "Murdock, stop dancin' with the women." 

"Get up and shake that booty, Face," Murdock countered as he gyrated with a particularly buxom redhead. 

With the warmth of booze heavy in his stomach and laughter making him just a little heady, Templeton pulled Murdock onto his lap and plundered his lover's mouth, ignoring the catcalls and whistles directed their way. 

"Mm, Face, you taste good," Murdock whispered as he nuzzled Templeton's neck. 

"You feel good," Templeton replied as he dove in for another kiss. "You're making me crazy, watching you dance with them." 

"Why don't you dance with me, then?" Murdock challenged. 

The music blaring around them had a wild, driving beat. Templeton stood up abruptly, almost dumping Murdock to the floor and nearly landing there himself. "You wanna dance? We'll dance." He grabbed Murdock's hand and pulled him onto the dance floor, where he tried desperately to keep up with Murdock's fast feet. 

After that, the clubs all whirled together. The lights, dancing, drinks and teasing all merged into a night he wished he could remember, but the harsh light of morning brought only a blinding headache. He moaned and tried to bury his head into the mattress. 

"Face, you okay in there?" B.A. called into the room. 

He groaned and pulled the pillow tighter around his head. 

Sure hands yanked it away. "Faceman, you're getting married today. Get a move on," B.A. growled. 

"G'way," he mumbled. 

"Oh, man. I told Hannibal it was a bad idea to take you two out last night. Murdock's doing better than you, though." 

Templeton managed to lift his head and look to his lover's side of the bed. "Where's he?" 

"He's with Hannibal," B.A. explained. 

The fog was starting to lift and worry was waking him up even faster. "Why? Is he okay?" 

"He's fine. Hannibal had it in his head to keep you two separated today until the wedding." 

"Separated!" B.A. had to forcibly keep him from running out the door. "B.A., let me go." 

"No, man," B.A. refused. "Hannibal said to keep you in here." 

"Murdock!" Templeton yelled. "Murdock, can you hear me?" 

"Face? Faceman," Murdock's voice was muffled through two doors and the living room, but he heard it. 

"Hannibal Smith, I want a word with you!" Templeton shouted. He glared at the larger man holding him. "B.A., let me go now or I'll knock you to the floor." 

B.A. glared down at him. "I don't want to hurt you on your wedding day, but I will. Hannibal wants..."

"I don't care what Hannibal wants. This is our wedding day and I want to see Murdock!" He struggled in B.A.'s grip and got his hand on the door handle, managing to pry it open. He heard thundering footsteps cross the living room and saw Murdock heading straight for him. He renewed his efforts to open the door the rest of the way, but couldn't quite get one arm out of B.A.'s grasp. 

Murdock slammed into him, knocking both he and B.A. back. B.A.'s hold loosened and Templeton immediately wrapped himself around Murdock, kissing him for all he was worth. He heard the conversation around him, but ignored it for the time being. 

"Aww, B.A. I told you to hold him back," Hannibal remarked. 

"Hannibal, he went crazy. Insisted he see Murdock right now." 

"I'd say he's doing more than seeing him." 

The last comment by Hannibal finally drew Templeton's attention away from Murdock. "If you two don't mind, I'm trying to kiss my fiance," he growled. 

"Yeah, what's the big idea of trying to keep us apart?" Murdock glared at B.A. and refused to look at Hannibal. 

"Isn't kidnapping more of a fraternity prank?" Templeton added as he held Murdock close. 

Hannibal pointed his ever-present cigar at them. "Fellas, it's customary for the groom not to see the bride on their wedding day. I thought Murdock wanted a traditional wedding." 

"Oh." Templeton felt a flush cover his neck. "Um, well..." 

"I didn't know about that," Murdock admitted sheepishly. "Sorry, Colonel. But you could have warned us." 

"Yeah, like you could have warned us about the bachelor party last night." Templeton winced and dug the heel of his hand into his eye. "Speaking of which, I need a large pot of coffee and about a dozen aspirin." 

"That ain't gonna do you no good," B.A. announced. "I'll make you something that'll get you back in shape." 

"You, Mr. Milk Man, knows a cure for a hangover?" Murdock asked, clearly skeptical. 

"I always end up taking care of you fools who get so drunk you don't even remember how you got home the night before." 

"You drove us," Murdock answered. 

B.A.'s expression was smug as he teased, "Yeah, but I bet you don't remember nothing else." 

Templeton wasn't about to admit the entire evening was a blur and it didn't look like Murdock was, either. They clung to each other in misery and waited for B.A. to make his special concoction. 

"Why don't you guys lie down?" Hannibal suggested. "You're both looking a little pale." 

"I feel queasy," Murdock whispered. "I'm gonna lose my lunch, dinner and breakfast." 

"Murdock, if you puke on me, the wedding's off," Templeton hissed, even that volume causing him to wince. 

"Yeah, well, you're looking green around the gills, too, buddy," Murdock retorted. 

"Maybe a bachelor party the night before the wedding wasn't the best plan," Hannibal relented. 

"No, no," Templeton assured him. "It was sweet of you. We wanted a traditional wedding and a bachelor party goes along with that. I just wish I hadn't drank so much." 

They half sat, half fell to the edge of the bed, still supporting each other. 

Murdock complained, "I didn't drink nearly as much as you and I'm still hearing those tiki tiki drums." 

"Is that what those were?" Templeton asked weakly as he ran his hand through his hair. 

"It's only nine thirty," Hannibal offered helpfully. "You have plenty of time to make yourselves presentable by one." 

"Presentable, I'm not worried about. Ability to stand upright without swaying, that I'm worried about," Templeton moaned. 

Murdock smiled, if a bit sickly. "You can always lean on me, Face." 

B.A. swung into the room carrying two glasses of indefinable colored liquid. "Drink up." 

"B.A., what is this?" Murdock whined as he took a sniff and held it at arm's length. 

Templeton took the other glass, but refused to even look at it. He just downed it as fast as possible, then choked as the taste reeled back at him. "Oh, God," he spluttered as he clutched his stomach. 

"Just hold tight, Face. It'll pass," B.A. assured him. 

The churning in his gut threatened to spill over, but soon it settled and he was able to open his eyes without squinting. "Wow." 

B.A. was grinning. "Told ya it works." 

Murdock wrinkled his nose, but tossed back the drink. He immediately curled up in a ball. "Oh, God, I think I'm dying." 

"You are not dying. And I didn't even make yours as strong, since you didn't drink as much," B.A. told him. 

Templeton pushed himself to a sitting position again. "What about you?" he nodded to Hannibal. "I remember you and me tossing back quite a few chasers." 

Hannibal's smug smile nearly outshone B.A.'s. "I've already had the B.A. Cure. So I guess that makes me a living specimen that it works." 

"Living being the appropriate word," Templeton mused as he rubbed Murdock's back. His lover was starting to uncurl from his fetal position and was beginning to get his color back. 

"I don't know what was in that – and I don't want to know. But it worked. Thanks, big guy," Murdock said with an almost normal smile. 

"Can't have you two falling over at your own wedding," B.A. said gruffly. "Now we've got a lot to do in a few hours. Let's get to it." 

Hannibal tilted his head in acquiesce. "You heard the man." 

Their two lifelong friends closed the door on their way out, leaving Templeton and Murdock alone in their bedroom. 

"I'm still not feeling so hot," Murdock admitted. 

"Neither am I, but at least I think I can stand," Templeton said as he attempted it. He swayed dangerously, but remained on his feet. He made his way to the outdoor shower and stood under the spray, hoping the warm water would take away the last of his haze. He shook his head and blinked a few times, feeling more normal by the second. Murdock's hands slid around his waist and he put his hands on them, halting their movements. "Just what do you think you're doing?" 

"Taking a shower," Murdock mumbled into his neck. 

"No, you're kissing..." his breath caught as Murdock delicately licked his ear. He moaned softly and turned in Murdock's arms. His hands slipped over the wet skin of Murdock's back as he pulled his lover close, planting a teasing kiss to Murdock's waiting lips. "Should we be doing this, mere hours before our wedding?" 

The body in his arms trembled slightly. "Face, I don't think I can wait. I have to have you, right now." 

"Murdock, it's just a few hours," he reasoned. 

Murdock's grip on him tightened and his eyes filled with fear. "Face, don't torment me like this. I changed my mind. I don't even want to get married anymore. Let's just go at it like wild zebras on the tundra." 

Templeton smoothed back his lover's hair in a comforting gesture. "Murdock, what's gotten into you? First you freak out on the beach and now this." 

Murdock's features twisted in agony. "I'm scared, Face. I – I don't know what it's like to be married. I don't know what's going to change about me." 

So that's what it was; cold feet. Having spent most of his life with permanent cold feet, Templeton felt he was an expert on the subject. "As I am the authority on married life among the four of us, my experience being for all of a week, I can tell you that not much changes. You don't suddenly become a different person. You'll be who you always were. The man I'm in love with." 

"You're not just saying that so I'll go through with this?" 

"If you're serious; if you don't want to do this, we don't have to. We'll just enjoy the rest of our vacation on the island, then go home and continue like we were." 

"You'd do that for me?" 

"I'd do anything for you, Murdock. I love you." 

Murdock pulled him close for a long, deep kiss. "Let's get married, huh?" he whispered after he released Templeton's mouth. 

"Uh-huh," Templeton answered, his desire for Murdock starting to overpower him again. "We better get out of here," he murmured as he stole another kiss. "Get dressed and meet Minister Nakamura." 

Murdock met another of his kisses halfway. "Yeah." 

Reluctantly, they finished washing, lingering touches only heightening anticipation for the night ahead. 

They helped each other dress, straightening ties and smoothing creases. Templeton let his hands drift over Murdock's light gray suit, admiring the cut. Murdock had insisted on going to the tailor's alone to fit his suit. Templeton wasn't sure what to expect – he still had the occasional flash of Murdock wearing a wedding dress – but it was a tasteful suit, brightened with red accessories. 

Murdock slipped his hands under Templeton's jacket, jerking him hard against him, leaving Templeton breathless. "You look – like an angel in all that white. But I'm not having very heavenly thoughts about you." 

Templeton smiled and played with the lapels on Murdock's jacket. "Well, I'm not having many pure thoughts about you, either." 

A knock on the door interrupted their teasing. Hannibal's voice filtered through the door. "I hate to be a bother, but we do have someplace to be in an hour." 

"We'll be right out," Templeton called back. "After this," he added under his breath as he leaned into Murdock's kiss once again. "Now, I think I can make it an hour." 

Murdock licked his lips. "Right. An hour." He tugged the hem of his jacket, threw open the door and walked regally into the living room, Templeton right behind him. 

It had been a very long time since he'd seen the Colonel and B.A. in suits, but they looked as sharp as ever. B.A. tucked a small white rose into the lapel of Murdock's jacket. Hannibal slipped Templeton's rose into his white suit, then clapped him on the shoulder. 

"Well, kid, this is it." 

"Hannibal, I'm 48 years old and I'm about to become a married man. Do you think you can drop the 'kid'?" Templeton asked with a patient smile. 

Hannibal regarded him shrewdly, then nodded. "Sure, Templeton." 

It sounded so strange, coming from the Colonel. Templeton couldn't remember when, if ever, Hannibal had called him by his given name. It gave the day an even more surreal quality. His hand only trembled the tiniest bit as he pinned the red rose onto Hannibal's lapel. Murdock was taking care of B.A.'s flower. 

"You're amazingly calm, Face. Are you all right?" 

"I'm fine, Hannibal. I know this is what I want to do. You know that feeling you get when you're absolutely sure you're doing the right thing? I've got that feeling." 

Maggie emerged from her bedroom and Hannibal's eyes followed her as she walked across the room. Even Templeton took a good look. She blushed under all four men's stares. 

"You'd think you never saw a woman before," she remarked lightly as sat on the couch. 

"Never a woman as lovely as you," Hannibal said in a raspy voice. 

"John Smith, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were flirting with me." 

"If you have to ask, then I'm not doing it properly," Hannibal retorted. 

She rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. "Just do your duty as Best Man, so we can get going. These boys look anxious to get going." 

Hannibal glanced from him to Murdock. "Well, it had to happen sometime. Odds were, one of us would eventually get married." 

"Yeah, but I bet you wasn't planning on two of us getting hitched," Murdock pointed out with a flash of a smile. 

"To each other," Templeton tossed in, grinning wildly. 

B.A. snarled, "Are we going to go or what? We still have to pick up Amy." 

Their rented minivan was out front, so with one last flurry of activity, including a panic to find the rings, they piled into the van and headed to the Kealani Hotel, where Amy was outside, waiting for them. Murdock hopped out of the van and helped her inside. 

"To the wedding, Jeeves!" Murdock shouted, pointing dead ahead. 

"I ain't no Jeeves and if you want to live long enough to say 'I do,' you best sit back and shut up," B.A. informed him with a growl. 

"Fine," Murdock grumbled as he crossed his arms and pouted. 

"B.A., this is our wedding day. If you don't behave yourself, I'm revoking your status as Murdock's Best Man," Templeton threatened lightly under his breath. He was sitting right behind the driver's seat, so he knew B.A. could hear him. 

Sharice reached over and squeezed B.A.'s forearm. "Honey, this is their day. Let them enjoy it." 

Templeton wished he could see B.A.'s face as the other man murmured, "Okay," and continued driving to the cliffs. 

They had at least fifteen minutes until they arrived, so Templeton slipped his arm around Murdock and sighed. "You okay?" he whispered. 

Murdock uncrossed his arms and relaxed minutely. "My stomach's all nervous, I'm lightheaded and I still have a headache from last night." 

Templeton squeezed his shoulder. "I'm nervous too, but this is what we want, isn't it?" 

Murdock stared deep into his eyes. "Yes," he whispered. Murdock's arm snaked around his waist, and they held each other until the van pulled to a stop. 

Templeton took a good look around. The sky was dotted with clouds, not enough to cause them any trouble. Minister Nakamura was waiting for them at the halfway point up the cliff, with the photographer beside her. He waved to them, then helped Maggie out of the van. Hannibal took Maggie's hand out of his and with a wink, said, "This one's mine, Lieutenant." 

Murdock grabbed Templeton's hand and tugged him toward the path. "Come on, Face. B.A.'s already halfway up there." 

Sure enough, if they wanted to catch up, they were going to have to move now. Of course, it didn't really matter when they started; the entire wedding party was there. But they didn't want to hold up the minister in case she had other duties to perform that day. 

The path was wide enough at the bottom, but as they drew closer to the top, it narrowed. The remainder of the wedding party had to line up single file in order to reach the top. Templeton exhaled and turned around, curious as to how far behind Murdock had fallen. 

"Everything okay?" he called down to them. 

"Fine, Faceman. I tripped on my shoelace," Murdock said sheepishly. 

He waited patiently for Murdock to reach him, then extended his hand to help the rest of the way up. Murdock flashed him a smile, then turned and helped Maggie the last few steps. Hannibal assisted Amy and they all took in the view. The ocean stretched before them, crashing against the cliffs far below. Native plants lent their natural color to the surroundings and Templeton couldn't think of a better place to have the ceremony. 

"Is this gonna be okay?" Murdock asked nervously as his eyes darted this way and that. 

"It's perfect," Templeton assured him. He saw the widened eyes of his lover and concern flooded him. "Murdock, are you sure you're okay?" 

"Just a case of butterflies in the ol' belly. I'll be fine." 

"Remember, we're doing this together." 

Murdock squeezed his hand tightly. "Right. Together." 

"Are you ready to begin?" the minister asked and they all scrambled to their places. They had to shuffle around as Templeton hadn't anticipated Amy being there, but soon everyone could see, Hannibal was at Templeton's right, and B.A. at Murdock's left. 

Templeton didn't really listen to what the Minister was saying. His entire focus was on Murdock, the way the light played in his hair, the little nervous wavers in his smile, the tight grip he had on his hand. The vows he'd agonized over were etched into his memory and he just waited for his cue to say them. 

"These two men have known each other for most of their lives. Through adversity and hardship, they grew to love each other. Through love, understanding and a wish to be united, they have come before friends today to share their lives with you and each other. They have chosen to recite their own vows. Gentlemen, if you are ready?" 

They'd agreed that Murdock should go first and he swallowed hard before starting. "Face, I know I'm not what you started out looking for. I'm probably the last thing you was expecting when you went in search of your American dream. I'm not pretty or curvy, and I don't faint at the first sign of trouble. I've got a stubbly chin and hairy legs and a real foul temper when I want to. I'm not able to give you some things that a woman could, but I'm able to give you everything of myself. I – I've loved you for a long time, Face. I don't think I could love anyone as much as I love you. I waited patiently until you could return that love." He reached into his inner jacket pocket and removed a single white orchid. "The wait was worth it. White is a symbol of pure love and unity. My love for you is as pure as anything I've ever experienced and as a symbol of us joined in unity today, I wanted you to have it." 

Templeton took the orchid with trembling fingers. The image wavered as tears blurred his vision. His carefully prepared words seemed paltry by comparison to what Murdock had said from the heart. The least he could do was return the favor. 

He wiped his eyes. "Bear with me; I just forgot my entire speech." He smiled at Murdock and he could see the tears reflecting in their brown depths. "I think we set ourselves on a path in life and things happen when they're supposed to happen. Our early lives were built on trust, which led to friendship. I loved you like a friend, then a brother, then as a lover, but it was a long, slow process. It took a lot of heartache and distance and mistakes for me to accept my love for you." He rubbed his thumb over Murdock's hand. "I've been in love with two people in my life. One I left when I went to 'Nam and one I found when I got there. My life has been better for you being in it, Murdock. My love for you has made me a better person; someone I don't mind seeing in the mirror. You showed me that I was someone worth loving. I trust you...with everything that I am and everything that I will be, for the rest of my life." He choked. "And I'm about to cry, so I'm going to stop." He reached up to wipe at the tears on Murdock's cheeks and found himself cupping his lover's face. He pulled Murdock down and kissed him softly, which brought a smile to Murdock's lips. 

"That's supposed to come later, Face," he chided gently. Murdock's hand brushed at the tears wetting Templeton's face. 

Templeton scoffed, "When have we ever been orthodox or traditional?" 

"You've got a point there, muchacho. But seeing as we've got witnesses and all, maybe we should finish the ceremony? I didn't come all this way to turn back now." 

Templeton couldn't help it; he laughed. "Fine. Great. Whatever you want. You lead and I'll follow." 

Minister Nakamura shook her head slightly, but with a smile on her face. "Gentlemen, are you ready to proceed?" 

"Yes," they chorused, without taking their eyes off each other. 

"Do you have the rings?" 

B.A. dug into his pocket and handed Murdock one of the rings. 

"Hubert Murdock Montgomery, do you take Templeton as your partner, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

Murdock declared quietly and with great seriousness, "I'll take him any way I can get him." 

"Then place the ring on his finger and repeat after me." 

"I don't need it repeated," Murdock said, and began, "With this ring I commit myself to you with my heart, body and soul. Wear it as a symbol of my unending love for you." Murdock slipped the ring on his finger, and the coolness sent chills up his spine. 

"Templeton, your turn," she said quietly. 

Hannibal placed the ring in Templeton's hand and Templeton handed him the orchid. Their eyes met briefly. Hannibal gave him a slight nod, which Templeton returned. With a deep breath, he took Murdock's hand in his. 

"Templeton Arthur Peck, do you take Hubert as your partner, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

"Any way I can get him," Templeton echoed, as his heart fluttered. 

"Then place the ring on his finger and repeat after me." 

He slid the ring on Murdock's finger while reciting, "With this ring I commit myself to you with my heart, body and soul. Wear it as a symbol of my unending love for you." 

Minister Nakamura placed her hand over their joined ones. "By the authority vested in me as a Minister in the State of Hawaii, I now pronounce you united in marriage. I don't think I have to tell you what comes next."

Templeton stared at Murdock, mild shock making him immobile. They did it. They were married. His mouth opened slightly, which gave Murdock all the opening he needed. 

Murdock pressed his lips against Templeton's, almost chaste in their gentleness. He moaned lightly as his arms snaked around Murdock's waist, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. He dimly heard the applause of their friends, but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered; the only thing that existed, was Murdock's touch. 

Something soft landed in his hair, then tickled his nose. He opened one eye and saw petals of all kinds dropping onto them. He nudged Murdock away and whispered, "Open your eyes." 

"Only if you promise this isn't a dream," Murdock whispered back, but obliged, then laughed. "Flowers?" 

The five wedding attendees had baskets of flower petals that they were tossing into the air, allowing them to drift over the happy couple. 

Templeton tilted his head back and blew some of the petals back into the air. He laughed as they fell back to his face again. "Whose idea was this?" he asked. 

"Mine," B.A.'s deep voice surprised Templeton. Murdock looked just as astounded.

"You, big guy?" Murdock questioned. 

B.A. glared menacingly at them, daring them to disbelieve him. "Yeah, me. I said if you was going to get married, you needed to do it right. Even if we can't throw rice, we can throw something. Sharice suggested flower petals." 

"You do? She did?" Templeton was completely dumbfounded. A smug smile crossed B.A.'s face and Templeton knew that yes, B.A. did come up with the idea. 

"I thought I'd fool you," B.A. said proudly. "You expected Maggie or Amy to do it, didn't you?" 

"Well, I would have thought Hannibal, seeing as how many weddings he's been to," Murdock reasoned. He smiled. "But I'll take 'em from you. That makes them extra special." 

For the first time since they reached the top of the cliffs, Murdock released Templeton's hand and went to give B.A. a hug. Templeton smiled after his – what was Murdock now? He'd been thinking of him as a lover for so long, that he hadn't given any thought to what they'd call each other after they were married. What were some of the terms he'd read about? Companion? Life Partner? Spouse? He wasn't thrilled with any of them, and 'husband' made him feel too odd. 

Hannibal's arm clapped down on his shoulders. "You're supposed to be celebrating, not standing there lost in thought." He bounced the flower Murdock had given him against Templeton's chest. "You know those worry frowns tend to stay after awhile." 

Templeton snatched his flower back, holding it protectively against his chest. "Very funny, Hannibal," he drawled. "I was just thinking what we were going to call each other, now that we're married." 

"That's easy, Face," Murdock declared as he walked back over to Templeton. 

"It is?" He wrapped his arms around Murdock's waist and pulled him close to plant a quick kiss on his lips. 

Murdock's eyes were sparkling. "Sure it is. We're partners. Always have been, always will be." 

Templeton mulled that over for a moment, then smiled. "Partners. I like that." He tilted his head for another kiss, which Murdock promptly provided. 

They broke apart and dusted the petals out of their hair, making themselves presentable for the pictures. Murdock insisted on a shot of the Team together, with Hannibal on his right and B.A. on Templeton's left. 

With the necessities out of the way, the wedding party returned to the bungalow where Hannibal had prepared a small reception. Templeton took one look at Murdock's cake and burst out laughing. On top were two Ken dolls, one with a baseball cap and leather jacket, the other in a beige suit. He looked closer and saw that the doll in the leather jacket had his hair darkened to match Murdock's. They managed not to smear cake all over themselves as they fed each other a slice, though Templeton was tempted. A dollop of white icing mixed with chocolate cake would taste even better if licked off of his lover. Partner. He derailed those thoughts, concentrating on their guests. He and Murdock would have plenty of time to themselves that night. 

Champagne flowed steadily and the dinner was consumed heartily, as the Team hadn't eaten before the wedding. Music played softly from the stereo system and B.A. and Sharice started to dance. Hannibal and Maggie followed, then Amy walked up to Templeton and asked if he wanted to dance. He glanced to Murdock, who gave a barely perceptible nod. He twirled Amy in a tight circle, then slowed down to match the music. 

"It was a beautiful ceremony, Face," Amy murmured. 

"Yes, it was," he agreed. "You should thank Murdock. He found the spot." 

"He has good taste." 

He pulled back slightly. "Amy..."

She shook her head slightly. "No, Face. It's all right. I really am happy for you both." 

"Really?" he questioned. Even though they hadn't seen each other in years, he still felt the residuals of their not-quite-just-friendship. And he'd always respected her opinion. What she thought meant a lot to him. 

She smiled and threaded her fingers through his hair. "Really." She kissed him, then motioned Murdock over. "I believe you should have had the first dance with your partner," she said as she patted Murdock's arm. With another smile, she left the two of them staring at each other. 

"Face, what was that?" Murdock questioned, his brown furrowed in confusion. 

"She was just congratulating us. She thought it was a beautiful ceremony," Templeton recited. He focused on his partner. "And I believe we should be dancing." 

"You sure you're up to this, Face?" Murdock didn't look entirely convinced, so Templeton took the lead. 

The music switched to a very old song that sent Templeton back to his days in Vietnam at the OC Club, and a too-skinny pilot with a quick-as-a-flash mind. Maybe he had fallen in love back then. Maybe he just didn't realize it for what it was. 

"I love you," he murmured in his partner's ear. 

"I love you," Murdock answered with a light kiss. 

Templeton closed his eyes and held Murdock tight as they swayed to the music. A slightly faster song came on next and they disentangled themselves long enough to notice everyone getting ready to leave. 

"Where are you going?" Murdock asked. 

"We're leaving," Hannibal announced. "B.A. and I took out rooms at the resort Amy's staying at. This was pre-arranged," he assured them as Templeton made a move to argue with him. "We weren't going to intrude on your wedding night. Besides, you're not the only two who want some privacy. These walls aren't exactly thick around here, if you get my meaning." 

"But we didn't do..." Templeton started to protest, until he realized who Hannibal meant. "Ah, well then, don't let us keep you." 

After more good wishes and congratulations, Templeton was left in the middle of the living room with Murdock, only this time, they were alone. Anticipation sang through his veins. Neither of them wanted to make the first move and disturb the tension building between them. He caught a flicker of emotion in Murdock's eyes and sensed a change in the atmosphere around them. He reached out and lightly touched Murdock's chest, above his heart. Their eyes met and an entire conversation flew in the seconds it took for them to retire to the bedroom. 

With only slightly trembling fingers, Templeton slipped Murdock's jacket off. He fumbled over the buttons to his shirt, but managed to get that off his lover, too. He ran his fingertips over the skin of Murdock's chest, over old scars that brought a flood of memories, both good and bad. 

Murdock's hands worked just as slowly over Templeton's clothing. The unspoken need to take their time, savor every moment, was being honored by them. When Murdock's fingers grazed his chest, he inhaled sharply. Desire was replacing anticipation and need becoming urgent. Need to touch. To kiss. To savor and cherish. 

No words were necessary. They knew each other's bodies, likes and dislikes. They knew each other's pleasure spots. Their love spoke for them, through them, echoed and amplified back at Templeton until he completely lost himself in Murdock. In himself. In them. Their love surrounded and enveloped them, wrapping them in a warm cocoon that Templeton didn't want to leave...but his body was only mortal and he had to come down sometime. Heaven might exist in Murdock's embrace, in Murdock himself, but one can only visit heaven while on Earth. One is not permitted to stay, no matter how much one wants to. 

As they lay quietly catching their breath, Templeton caught a flash of light from his finger. He turned his hand and studied his ring. It wasn't conspicuous. It didn't seem out of place. In fact, it was perfect. He joined his left hand with Murdock's, allowing their rings to touch. 

"A perfect fit, just like us," Murdock observed. 

"I was just thinking that, myself," Templeton said quietly. He pulled Murdock on top of him and kissed him. "I don't think I've ever been happier in all my life." He grew concerned at Murdock's expression. "What is it?" 

"Face, I meant what I said today. I know I wasn't what you was looking for when you went looking for your American Dream." 

"Murdock, that doesn't matter now. I found what I was looking for." 

"Let me finish. I know I can't give you everything you was wanting. But I want to offer you a suggestion. You can say no if you want. I mean, nothing's final or anything." 

"Just tell me what it is," Templeton prodded gently. 

"Okay." Murdock took a deep breath. "I want us to get a dog." 

That took him completely by surprise. "A dog?" 

Murdock's natural enthusiasm returned full force. "She's a real pretty cocker spaniel, Face. Andshe'sabouttohavepuppies," he mumbled. 

"I'm sorry? I didn't quite make that out. What is it that she's about to have?" Templeton thought he'd said puppies, but he wanted to be sure. It was confirmed a second later. 

"Puppies. She's due in about two weeks, just about the time we get back." 

"You've been visiting the pet store again, haven't you?" Templeton mused, though he had a smile on his face. Murdock and pets went hand in hand. He supposed he could live with a dog in the house. 

"You see, I was figuring, that if you still wanted the 2.3 kids, puppies would be the next best thing. There'd still be the pitter patter of little feet around the house, keeping you up at all hours, demanding attention and food." 

Murdock was honestly trying to give him his dream. Tears filled his eyes and he choked out, "I think I'm going to cry." 

"I didn't meant to upset you, Face," Murdock lamented. 

He wiped his face and shook his head. "You didn't. It's just that...just when I think you can't possibly amaze me anymore, you go and do it. Puppies? Instead of kids?" 

"It's a stupid idea," Murdock chastised himself. "I'm sorry I brought it up. Here we are, on our honeymoon, and I have to go and open my big mouth." 

"Hey, you're talking about the man I love," Templeton shushed him. "It is not a stupid idea. It's a great idea. The backyard is certainly big enough." 

Murdock's eyes widened. "You mean you want them?" 

"Well, maybe not all of them," Templeton warned. "Let's see how many get adopted, then we'll take the rest." Any further comment was cut off by Murdock's mouth covering his. He lost himself in the kiss for a moment, moaning lightly. 

"I love you, muchacho," Murdock declared. 

"Just keep surprising me like that, Murdock," Templeton sighed, "And I'll stay with you forever." 

A tear slipped down Murdock's cheek. "You mean that?" 

"I mean it." He pulled his partner closer, and they drifted to sleep in each other's arms. 

The End


End file.
